Hi everyone
I should be in bed. But as usual the bush baby in me cannot deny its nocturnal side. Felicity arrived safe in Tanzania, picked up at the airport by not only me but two of my closest friends. The first couple of days were great and Felicity came into Arusha with me. I drove at 5 miles an hour so the bumps didn't hurt her and we joked about how slow I had to drive. Even took Flis to the club for a few drinks... and everyone wanted to meet her. It was great for both her and me.
A few nights later we sat talking till 3 in the morning. Talking history... about my older sister and me, times before Dad and Flis separated and the times after when my older sister and I couldn't understand why our folks separated and things got nasty. The whole evening was spent drinking mineral water and tea.... no alcohol involved. I finally went to bed totaly exhausted, as Flis was. I had a new graphic contract to get on with... but I pushed it aside.
I have to be honest with you all by saying I thought my genuine love for Flis (my maturnal mum) would be enough along with giving her back Africa. The best en suit room in the house, my puppies, my wildcat, a beautiful garden and total freedom from the memtal pain she was experiencing in the UK. OH BOY HOW STUPID COULD I HAVE BEEN.
Even though I was waking up during the night and checking on Flis, I over slept one morning and when I did wake up I did not think to check if Flis had taken her morphin. As it turned out she did not and she was in such pain it was unbelieveable.
To cut a long story short I rang an associate to get the number of an outfit here that deals with terminal cases and got immediate help in re~assessing her medicine and getting her back on line after missing her morning morphin, steroids for the liver, stomach medicine and...and...and...and.
To cut in here (without confusing you all), I had everyone you can imagine helping me. Not my close friends but: Sister Shiela from the Catholic outfit here, a doctor and nurses from the Lutherin Church and doctor Patalia from the local Hindu Temple Clinic (who's the only person who knows me from when he treated me for Typhoid, tickfever and malaria combined ~ HE IS BRILL). Anyway I was so mad with myself for not checking on my mum (Flis) medication. I've learnt my lesson and now set the alarm on my mobile phone to make sure Flis takes her dawa (swahili for medicine) at the right time.
I want Flis trip here to be the best ever for her. I want to take her to some special places in Tanzania that are resonably close. I have a close friend who is also fighting alcohol, that owns the most beautiful Masai lodge just 1 1/2hrs away from Arusha. I do all their photography and I can go stay there any time. I want to take Flis there. She will love it. A land of secrets ~ a forrest of wild banana trees leading right up to the Rift Valley Escarpment. The local fishermen catch Tillapia and anyone spiritically engolfed enough can skirt its perrimeter (through black cotton soil) and wind their way up to the most gorgeous waterfall, having walked through a cathedral of banana trees and rain forrest that has not be spoilt. Obviously Flis is Kenya born and so used to the bush.. BUT I know she will love it. So its a case of getting her pain relieve sorted out again. I'll drive her there and let her enjoy the fantastic view I just described. I'll undoutedbly (excuse spelling!) disappear with my camera for the day because I have to, but Flis will have a 5 class room with a great varanda view over Africa.
I want Flis to have that and I am prepared to drive at 5....even 2 kilometers an hour to get her there. I just want her to breath in Africa's bush again. My lovely garden, puppies and wild cat are not enoigh. I want her to sit looking over magical AFRICA... THE REAL BUSH, where she was born and subsequently I and my sisters.
I talked of Angels in my title and I did so for a reason.
I come from a white Kenyan family. My Dad's side is half English half Scotish. Flis' family is totally Irish, and I am always reminded of the fact that my real name, physical looks and character are as Irish as they get. Yet I have never been to my Great Grand Father's homeland. He chose Kenya as his home and I in turn chose Kenya citizenship against GB when I was asked to make the choice, 3 generations later.
My Dad gave me a lot of hassles when I ran back to Kenya, after my gardian angle step mum died a week after my 21st birthday. He would not talk to me when I insisted my step mum (who I will always refer to as Mum) had to be cremeated and not buried. He refused and said he was going to cut me from his will if I persued it. I simply said, 'Go ahead Dad, cut me off but don't deny Mum's final wish.."When he collected her diary from the hospital and read her pages he suddenly knew that he had to do what my step mum wanted and that I had known Mum's wish for a very long time.
Now it is my maturnal Mum's death. She is the most gifted writer and guttzy peson I know. My step mum who I will always love very very much and can never forget (even though I am now nearly 48 and she died just before I was 21) is a constant strength. But now I must help my maturnal Mum, Flis. Felicity.
I know this is getting very confusing. Too much history.. too much to say. I didn't even want to visit here any more... but I found this place, and sometimes I can't help writing here even though I've previously felt that I dont belong here any more.
I actually wanted to talk to about Angels. Felicity came here with a book about Angels. She talked to me about it and I do believe about these things. She prays/talks to them evey day. Its the most fantastic thing.... I borrowed her book and sat under a special tree, in my veggie garden, well away from the house. Opened my heart, whilst looking at the most magnificent tree on my plot and suddenly I had angels talking to me. For the first time in absolute ages I had my gardian angles talking to me.
It reminded me about something I've known since I was a little girl...yet had forgotten. We all have gardian angels sitting on our shoulders. They are always there....it doesn't matter how many years go by without talking to them. They are just waiting for us to talk to them...AND THEN THEY WILL KICK INTO ACTION AND HELP US.
Thats really what I wanted to say.
I should be in bed. But as usual the bush baby in me cannot deny its nocturnal side. Felicity arrived safe in Tanzania, picked up at the airport by not only me but two of my closest friends. The first couple of days were great and Felicity came into Arusha with me. I drove at 5 miles an hour so the bumps didn't hurt her and we joked about how slow I had to drive. Even took Flis to the club for a few drinks... and everyone wanted to meet her. It was great for both her and me.
A few nights later we sat talking till 3 in the morning. Talking history... about my older sister and me, times before Dad and Flis separated and the times after when my older sister and I couldn't understand why our folks separated and things got nasty. The whole evening was spent drinking mineral water and tea.... no alcohol involved. I finally went to bed totaly exhausted, as Flis was. I had a new graphic contract to get on with... but I pushed it aside.
I have to be honest with you all by saying I thought my genuine love for Flis (my maturnal mum) would be enough along with giving her back Africa. The best en suit room in the house, my puppies, my wildcat, a beautiful garden and total freedom from the memtal pain she was experiencing in the UK. OH BOY HOW STUPID COULD I HAVE BEEN.
Even though I was waking up during the night and checking on Flis, I over slept one morning and when I did wake up I did not think to check if Flis had taken her morphin. As it turned out she did not and she was in such pain it was unbelieveable.
To cut a long story short I rang an associate to get the number of an outfit here that deals with terminal cases and got immediate help in re~assessing her medicine and getting her back on line after missing her morning morphin, steroids for the liver, stomach medicine and...and...and...and.
To cut in here (without confusing you all), I had everyone you can imagine helping me. Not my close friends but: Sister Shiela from the Catholic outfit here, a doctor and nurses from the Lutherin Church and doctor Patalia from the local Hindu Temple Clinic (who's the only person who knows me from when he treated me for Typhoid, tickfever and malaria combined ~ HE IS BRILL). Anyway I was so mad with myself for not checking on my mum (Flis) medication. I've learnt my lesson and now set the alarm on my mobile phone to make sure Flis takes her dawa (swahili for medicine) at the right time.
I want Flis trip here to be the best ever for her. I want to take her to some special places in Tanzania that are resonably close. I have a close friend who is also fighting alcohol, that owns the most beautiful Masai lodge just 1 1/2hrs away from Arusha. I do all their photography and I can go stay there any time. I want to take Flis there. She will love it. A land of secrets ~ a forrest of wild banana trees leading right up to the Rift Valley Escarpment. The local fishermen catch Tillapia and anyone spiritically engolfed enough can skirt its perrimeter (through black cotton soil) and wind their way up to the most gorgeous waterfall, having walked through a cathedral of banana trees and rain forrest that has not be spoilt. Obviously Flis is Kenya born and so used to the bush.. BUT I know she will love it. So its a case of getting her pain relieve sorted out again. I'll drive her there and let her enjoy the fantastic view I just described. I'll undoutedbly (excuse spelling!) disappear with my camera for the day because I have to, but Flis will have a 5 class room with a great varanda view over Africa.
I want Flis to have that and I am prepared to drive at 5....even 2 kilometers an hour to get her there. I just want her to breath in Africa's bush again. My lovely garden, puppies and wild cat are not enoigh. I want her to sit looking over magical AFRICA... THE REAL BUSH, where she was born and subsequently I and my sisters.
I talked of Angels in my title and I did so for a reason.
I come from a white Kenyan family. My Dad's side is half English half Scotish. Flis' family is totally Irish, and I am always reminded of the fact that my real name, physical looks and character are as Irish as they get. Yet I have never been to my Great Grand Father's homeland. He chose Kenya as his home and I in turn chose Kenya citizenship against GB when I was asked to make the choice, 3 generations later.
My Dad gave me a lot of hassles when I ran back to Kenya, after my gardian angle step mum died a week after my 21st birthday. He would not talk to me when I insisted my step mum (who I will always refer to as Mum) had to be cremeated and not buried. He refused and said he was going to cut me from his will if I persued it. I simply said, 'Go ahead Dad, cut me off but don't deny Mum's final wish.."When he collected her diary from the hospital and read her pages he suddenly knew that he had to do what my step mum wanted and that I had known Mum's wish for a very long time.
Now it is my maturnal Mum's death. She is the most gifted writer and guttzy peson I know. My step mum who I will always love very very much and can never forget (even though I am now nearly 48 and she died just before I was 21) is a constant strength. But now I must help my maturnal Mum, Flis. Felicity.
I know this is getting very confusing. Too much history.. too much to say. I didn't even want to visit here any more... but I found this place, and sometimes I can't help writing here even though I've previously felt that I dont belong here any more.
I actually wanted to talk to about Angels. Felicity came here with a book about Angels. She talked to me about it and I do believe about these things. She prays/talks to them evey day. Its the most fantastic thing.... I borrowed her book and sat under a special tree, in my veggie garden, well away from the house. Opened my heart, whilst looking at the most magnificent tree on my plot and suddenly I had angels talking to me. For the first time in absolute ages I had my gardian angles talking to me.
It reminded me about something I've known since I was a little girl...yet had forgotten. We all have gardian angels sitting on our shoulders. They are always there....it doesn't matter how many years go by without talking to them. They are just waiting for us to talk to them...AND THEN THEY WILL KICK INTO ACTION AND HELP US.
Thats really what I wanted to say.
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