The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I thought this was funny and reminded me that I am not alone . Funny yet SOBERING, pun intended!



>> The Value of a Drink
>>
>> "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame.
> Then
>> I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards
>> and all
>> of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be
> out
>> of work and their dreams would be shattered.
>> Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
>> their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>> ~ Jack Handy
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
>> hell
>>
>> happened to your bra and panties.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
> morning,
>> that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
>> ~Frank Sinatra
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
>> are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
>> ~ Henny Youngman
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
>> laughing WITH you.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
>> ~ Stephen Wright
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
>> When we fall asleep, we commit no sin .
>> When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and
>> go to heaven!"
>> ~ Brian O'Rourke
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
>> ~ Benjamin Franklin
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
>> a retard.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
>> is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
>> but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
>> ~ Dave Barry
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
>> friends
> over
>> and over again that you love them.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
> can!
>> ~ Dave Howell
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
>> logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
>> One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
>> Theory to his buddy Norm.
>> Here's how it went:
>>
>> "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
>> as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is
>> the
> slowest
>> and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
>> selectionbr />> is
>> good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
>> the whole group keeps improving by th e regular killing of the
>> weakest
> members.
>> In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
>> slowest brain cells. Exces sive intake of alcohol, as we know,
>> kills
> brain
>> cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
> first.
>> In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
> cells,
>> making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you
> always
>> feel smarter after a few beers."
>>
>> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
>> whispering when you are not
>>


I enjoyed this but am focusing on the WARNINGS

[STARLIGHT]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

I love wine too! Loved the Warnings! Made me think! This was really great and gives us something to think about that's so true in the stories. I've been having a hard time but still working at it. Thanks!!!!
Blessings, Angel

[beatle]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

FOCL-- and still giggling out loud. I'm getting some funny looks, but hey, what a way to start the workday. thanks Drenched. Now I know why I am so brilliant (no more loser cells in my brain).

[Deilight]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

Trust me, I've lived in the winelands and it's the cultivating of wine that ruined those people and shattered their dreams. They would've been MUCH better off without the vineyards.

Fact: The western Cape has the highest instance of alcohol foetal brain syndrome in the world, doctors who study it get posted there.
If any of you understood SA slang and Afrikaans (it's a mix language poem) I'd post the the poem I wrote about my view of the vineyards and its ill effect on the indigenous people of the area! So drinking isn't doing ANYONE any good, only those who are already rich!

x

[Deilight]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

Loved the warnings on your post, very funny. Love too how people can make such great excuses to drink. Especially like the one about spitting!

[satori]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

LOL - so THAT'S what happened to my Bra and Panties!

Satori

xxx

[meditation mama]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

LOL!!

Satori - didn't need the visual..

[janka]

The value of a drink, OH HOW WE FOOL OURSELVES!

Drenched this is all too funny, thanks for sharing, still LMAO, j