I need support

[gourmet]

I had been doing well moderating for a few weeks. Started the Naltrexone, taking the supps, but the last three nights I have drank too much. I feel horrible today. I hate being hung over. It hurts so bad, inside and out. I feel guilty and ashamed and scared to death that I will never be able to overcome this beast. I too have many hobbies that should occupy my time - but the bottle seems to take over and I hate not being able to control it. I pray for the strength to just quit forever, but I don't know.

[iowegian]

I need support

HI gourmet,
We talked in chat for a while. I drank way too much last night, too, so i can certainly comiserate. The general anxiety that comes with withdrawl can be tough...but you are tougher. I gave up on the notion of moderation long ago because I've consumed enough liquor for several lifetimes, and I lose control once I start, so best if I don't let myself start. I know what you mean about lots of hobbies and feeling guilty cuz one just sits and gets wasted instead of doing something worthwhile or productive. Seems like I've drunk away alot of happiness in the interest of "feeling good". Really though, don't beat yourself up too badly. "when you kick yourself in the ass, all you get is a sore ass and a tired foot".
Well maybe you can find some strength here. I haven't been here long but it seems like a wondrful group of people from all around the world. And they've been where you're at right now in one way or another. Kepp posting and reading, it helps. Don't know what else to say for now, except that we can ttry to walk down this path together. I know that around 5:00 in the evening I start getting that lousy urge to swill beer, and I hjope to hang out at this site tonight to try to get through the evening. If I get to 9:00 I'm usually fine and ready to read myself to sleep.. It's that 4 hours between 5 and 9 that seem lo be a trap.
Take care of yourself today. Hydrate,hydrate,hydrate.(Did I mention hydrate?). Thiamine can help with withdrawls I believe, but I'm not a nutrition expert.
Not much else to say for now, except that I'm here and lots of others are here to lend and ear.

[Guest]

I need support

Hi gourmet and welcome.
Sorry you`re feeling so disappointed in yourself, but take heart........we`ve all felt as you do today at some time or other.
You`ll find enormous support at M.W.O.

But please, give yourself a helping hand and banish all thoughts of trying to get sober forever. There`s none of us can say for certain that we`ll remain sober forever.......it`s very much an ongoing goal and takes renewed commitment every day. However, many of us are sober as a result of using the "day at a time" approach.Just try to get your 1st AF day under your belt and take it from there.

Wishing you love and strength for your journey,

Starlight Impress x

[gourmet]

I need support

Thank you so much for responding. Just knowing someone is listening and cares helps so very, very much. Iowegian, my problem hours are just about the same. 5:00ish through 9:00. Sometimes, I just go to sleep around 7:00 to stop the craving. I hate doing that to my spouse and daughter. But sometimes it is the only way to have a non-drinking day.

[gourmet]

I need support

Starlight, you inspire me. I have read several of your threads. Thank you for responding. Love and strength in turn to you.

[beatle]

I need support

gourmet and iowegian, I can relate. I am feeling a lot of the same. gourmet, I have gone to bed early many a time to avoid the monster, and I have stayed in bed also to avoid it in the morning. Ughh how horrible. We did not ask for this and we do not want it.

And yes, I too have many interests, hobbies, etc. I just want to bury myself thinking of the wasted time. Well, we just have to do it dammit. We are here together to kick this thing.

Please don't feel sad, please keep trying.

[southernbelle47]

I need support

{{{{{{{Gourmet}}}}}}

Keep working on it...baby steps...
You Can do this!

Love,
Nancy "Belle"

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I need support

Only look forward, don't look back. Do you know WHY you drink? Is it a physical craving or a mental escape? I KNOW there is a god P Doc out there to help you, you just have to keep trying.

Keep your chin up,

Luvya

[Finding My Self]

I need support

Gourmet and Iowegin - Hello... I so feel for you. It's horrible where you are but the only place to be on your journey. Fact. Can't say anything to take it away but can say that just one day, one minute if it comes to that, at a time worked for me.

I say 'fact' because it was fighting that that nearly tripped me up then... that and looking too far ahead like Star says... After 4-5 days the 'fact' becomes something assimilable and the pride of achieving that begins to take over... Well, was for me and I gather many others... After the rather devilish days 3-4 and the alcohol has pretty well left your systems it will be easier...give yourselves the chance to at least experience that (or post vociferously that I'm wrong!!!!!)

I believe you can do today. (Tomorrow becomes another 'today' so 'worry' about that then and not before.)

Brilliant saying that - kicking yourself just gives you a sore bum and a tired foot!!!! Thank you. I will remember that!!! So true!

Day by Day and the reasons we resorted to The Booze Beast :alf: (kick him instead!) will probably become clear on their own.... that helps it get easier too.

Love and belief in you.
FMF xx
(111 days! - see, they do build! Just when you're not looking!)

[gourmet]

I need support

Thank everyone so very much for responding. This place is incredible. I have felt so alone with this thing for all these years (started the drink at 12; I am now 41). It is amazing to me to finally have so many who understand this thing, although I wish none of us had to be here. Bless you all for caring. Love from my heart to you all.

[gourmet]

I need support

By the way, I kept my oldest grandchild last night so I did not have any alcohol at all. It is good not to be sick this morning.

[gourmet]

I need support

I had to change my mood! I am still trying to get used to how to work the site well!

[gourmet]

I need support

It is Sunday evening. I am drunk. I feel stupid, hard to type. I am looking at a photo of myself a few years ago - pretty - now, so much weight gained - where did I go? I am here, so alone. Feel weird even trying to communicate with total strangers
this site. But I know you all are so much like me.

[magic]

I need support

Hi Gourmet

Time passes and we change. Can't stop that.

We can't change yesterday, or what happened 5 minutes ago. We can plan for tomorrow but even then the best laid plans......sometimes don't pan out the way we want them to.

We can only live in this moment.

At 41 you are a young woman, and a young Grandmother to boot!
You are still the same woman in that photograph, she's there, a bit lost..sidetracked, but she's there.

You have years and years ahead of you and another generation to nuture now.

I bet you are a incredible grandma!

magic xx :l

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I need support

Next time, if you drink, try to go more slowly and count each and every drink. Better Luck next time : )

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.