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[slightlysuze]

Well, here I am on Day 25 AF...and feeling a bit fed up. Quite a strong craving earlier in the evening, but I resisted and just ate too much instead LOL. The thing is....when I started I didn't set a goal of 30 days AF but now I'm so near I've made it a goal...and I intend to get to it. BUT.....I now keep thinking 'what then?'. When I started I said that my real aim was to be a social drinker....moderate....just at things like birthdays, nice meals out etc. I think I still want that, and am now sure that drinking when I'm down, miserable or angry is a doorway to nowhere. So......I still would like to be a moderate social drinker. Has anyone advice/experience to offer about how to handle this? Should I fix a date to 'try it out'?, to see if I can just drink one glass, for example? I am feeling confused...and anxious in case I mess it up. Any successful moderators got good advice?

Thanks

Suze

[satori]

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Hi Scary Avatar Suze!

Not sure I can help - but for the record, I started out with a 30 day goal - "just to see if I could do it".

I wasn't sure "what next" either - kind of felt the same as you did - but the more time went by AF - the more I realised - I really didn't (don't) relish the idea of drinking any more!
Now I'm not saying I will never drink again - but I am certainly in no hurry to start again - I am MUCH happier like this - I didn't know how much I was missing, and how much time (and money) I was wasting while I was drinking.

I am rapidly coming up on 60 days AF.
I have a party to go to tomorrow - and am looking forward to it - and I know I will be staying AF.
I will enjoy the company, be able to drive my family home - and wake up the next day feeling great.

I'm staying AF for the foreseeable future!

Just see how it goes!

Best of luck

love

Satori
xxx

[Guest]

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Hi Suze,
I`m 100% with Satori on this one.........am now 47 days sober and my current goal is 60 days. As someone who previously went back to drinking like a fish after 10 yrs of being sober, I personally, hope I am never again tempted to think I can drink moderately.I now think of myself as a dormant alcoholic.

It was damn hard work to "get out" this time round, but I am indeed out and hell-bent on staying out.

So saying, I don`t think there is a "typical" in all of this........we each have to decide for ourselves if we think we can truly moderate. I just know now that moderation is not for me........no regrets!!

Starlight Impress x

[slightlysuze]

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Thanks both...I'm off to bed now....but will have a really long think about all this in the morning! I'm wishing I had set a clearer goal for myself at the beginning about AF....then I wouldn't be doubting now?:upset:

Suze (who must change her avatar )

[Determinator]

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Suze (avatar is cool BTW)
great question indeed and one you'll get a lot of different responses too depending on who you talk to. It's understandable why: because we are all different, with different brain chemistries and at different places in our personal recovery/development.
I'd love to be a SOD. hey, no laughing here. "special occasion drinker" which in my own definition would be a great test although still risky. Last time I tried to MOD I basically said 'screw it' and wanted to experience that party feeling again that I had in my younger years where alcohol had more innocent happy conotation in my life. Well...that ended in a thud and now back here quite happily at day 86. Have a party tonight and it's at a microbrewery!!!! good grief people!! LOL.
Love your recipes by the way

[Blondie_grrrl]

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This Q may be premature for me (since I have yet to read the MWO text; it's on order); but is there any statistical information on success rates with moderate drinking? I am just embarking on this "adventure" but am really hopeful that moderate drinking is possible someday (we have such a lovely wine cellar!). Checked the MM website but couldn't find any research findings. Anyone?

[Finding My Self]

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Det - what in the world is a microbrewery?!?!?! Somewhere The Borrowers go to imbibe?!?!

Blondie - hello. I hope you get your answer later. Not a lot of help as I wanted to mod too but (a) feel so good now (112 days) that I don't want to and (b) am 'scared' to and happy to keep that sort of fear around... maybe... until...who knows as yet! Good luck to you though.

Love FMF xx

[KatieSmiles]

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FMF!
The Borrowers! You have made me smile.
Also, Suze I doubt if 30 days is long enough to test MODS. I have read enough posts to realize it isn't really the best plan. Choice is yours.

Hugs
K

[bootcampbarbie]

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i love satori's plan and am on that mission myself. after being sober and happy about it for 9 years and amazed at how hard it is to get back into that again. i see some folks that can mod it. i just don't happen to be as someone said a sod. wish that were so. but nope. no sod here. so, whatever you goal it always comes down to one day at a time anyway. sleep tight

[meggie]

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I am drinking again after almost a year of af. Went to work today hungover. This is awful, I need to pick a day and give it up for the rest of my life. It is hard to give up the crutch. Need to use the hypno and the drugs. I hate empty head of the drugs. But feel worse being hung over

[Finding My Self]

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Hello Meggie - You've been 'lurking' and it's good to 'see' you again.....!!!

Just jumping in here to say to you, "YOU CAN DO THIS". ("JFDI" - "Just .........do it!" as they say!) But a hand here to get you going. Lots and lots of hands.

Suze - why on earth did I type 'Blondie'?!?! (Sorry Blondie!!) Senior Moment I fear!
I hope the morning has brought some clarity. I have to say I daren't try mods after 30 days. After 90 I felt so good but still felt I would be breaking some huge, important trust/rule if I tried. Knew it wouldn't work if I drank and felt guilty. Now (113) I feel I've actually got the thing back I really wanted and that wasn't a drink but my choice. Before alcohol made the choices, then AA, family and even MWO, but now I do (well, right now anyway! Never that complacent!) and that feels really, really good! Whether I ever excercise that choice to have a glass - well, I'll let you now! I knew someone who did and they're fine but waited 2.5 years and I still really listen to Starlight....!!!

And, edit for glaring ommision here!, I really don't know if I could feel like this without RJ, this place and all your love and support - so thank you!!!

I hope you find your way and continue to feel well and happy!

Good luck.
FMF xx

[Finding My Self]

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Hey Suze - not meaning to hijack your thread but can I just say that I've been worrying about my last post - seems really a bit arrogant....and I wanted to say I really don't feel THAT secure! When the tummy-bug-season comes around (winter) watch me go!.....my real big trigger with having a phobia about it! I used to self-medicate for those terrors! :upset:
But I'll focus on the postives of today anyway when I feel good and really AM glad to have my choice about me!!
Thanks Suze! :thanks:
FMF xx

[emily]

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I'm at day 13 AF Suze and like you I'm going for the 30 days. I think, like yourself, I will be panicking a bit towards the end of the 30 days. My plan is to order the hypno cds, (just waiting to sell something on ebay lol, so I have credit in my paypal) things a bit tight just now. However, I have dowloaded the book, I am taking the Kudzu and going to holland and barrat today for l-glutamine and evening primrose oil.

Stuggled a bit last night (friday night) and just wanted to eat. I went to the local supermarket at 9.30 pm, for something nice (not wine) and really took on board how many people were there shopping, going about their business, not drinking...

I really know the hyno will work for me as that is how I stopped smoking. I have been to hynpo twice before but only a couple of sessions and I didn't mean business as much then as I do now. Probably because I didn't know of this site and felt so hopelessly alone and condemmed to living this secret life.

Really pleased at how much more I have achieved this last fortnight and even considering having my business name written on my car which is something I wanted to do before but would rather die than have the humiliation of being caught drink driving (and I'm taking about the morning after driving, which I know is just as bad) but there has been a few occasions where I knew I was not fit to drive the morn after but did anyway.

I am going to go full self employed soon and realise I have been 'flying by the seat of my pants' for the last two years of setting up a business, although I have got lots done, think of how much more I could achieve without feeling... well you all know how I feel.

[YoungAtHeart]

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Suze, when I was finished with 30 days, I felt the same way--a sort of "now what??" I didn't want to try drinking again, having slid down the slippery slope twice after 3 week periods of abs before. So I just decided to try for another 30 days. Now, past 3 months, I am really feeling the benefits of not drinking. I'm not ecstatic, but I can really see all of the subtle ways that it was getting in my way. I'm pleased to see how I can handle life's stresses without wine--I thought I would fall apart, but quite the opposite. When I face a social occasion, I will buy a bottle of AF wine, and join right in. It feels good.

At any rate, I think I'm taking a long way of saying that I'd give myself more abs time if I were you, although only you can really make that decision. I can only say what I would do.

Good luck and all the best!:l

[bootcampbarbie]

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ah well today maybe a good day meggie. i'd suggest though getting something in the tool chest like l glut and kudzo to warn off those mid day insanity and cravings. the drugs afterawhile just become part of the system; in the beginning though it is very odd i agree. still it can't be worse then the self loathing and hang over. hate that. take care of you