Honeymoon with sobriety...

[Deilight]

Being sober for just over 2 weeks feels great! I call this the "honeymoon period". My GF has cut down drastically on her drinking and I am staying AF, my "happy" pills are working like a dream and life is going a lot more smoothly.

My question is, what happens when the "honeymoon" is over? I know I'm not going to feel this great forever, and to be honest I'm a little scared. You know how it is when everything is going well you think "when will it start going wrong?" Sounds negative I know but trying to be realistic too.

Anyone else feel the same way?

[Cinders]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Deilight,

I think what you touch on is one of the things that has made me hesitant to go full blown AF, even though I know that is exactly what I need.

The fear of making it and then falling back. I scares me more than just going on as I have been.

I guess fear of failure. ??

Anyhow, I hope some of the "oldies" answer your post and give you some good advice!!

You are doing so well!!

Cindi

[beatle]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

I don't think it's the honeymoon you have to worry about, but the complacency. Every time I hit about 4 weeks, I start to think "now I am in control... I can take a couple drinks", and that is what undoes me. (So watch out for the complacency and keep enjoying the honeymoon =-)

[Flip]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Hi Deilight, I can probably help out a little bit here having recently been in exactly the same place AND getting though it.

This "honeymoon" phase lasted about 3 months for me the first time I stopped drinking (early last year). After that I went through a "hey I can do this" phase. By the 4th month I was getting complacent and by month 5 I blew it. Four months later I sobered up again and swore I would never blow it again. So, back on the campral.

That was in December last year, and this time I did things a little differently. Instead of just relying on the drugs and my own willpower, I pulled in every single resource and tool I could find (including this place).

The honeymoon period lasted about a month, then I got SCARED. REALLY REALLY scared. I was doing great, taking the drugs, seeing my Dr weekly, posting and reading here, reading everything I could get my hands on and seeing a D&A counsellor.

I told her how scared I was of failing. How terrified I was that I would drink again. I think that for the first 3 months I saw her that was all I really wanted to talk about. I was scared she would think that because I was doing ok and not drinking that she would stop letting me see her. I was scared I would have to take Campral forever. I was scared I was going to die a drunk in the gutter.

Guess what? I'm still scared. It's been nearly 10 months and I'm glad I'm still scared. If I forget how awful it is to drink I may do it again. I think the fear is a good thing. It reminds me to not get complacent and not think that I can have "just one"....

This is not to say that I am totally imobilised by it like I was 8-9 months ago. It is a quiet fear, and most of the time I am in a proud and satisfied place, knowing that I have won the battle and I will NEVER drink again, but I will never walk around unarmed again.

Hope this helps, it's just one bit of my story.

[Bella]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Hi Deilight. The "Honey-Moon" period is a good way to describe it. You DO feel great after being AF for a while. There is a sense of empowerement I found. I have been AF for about 5 months. Forced into it by pregnancy! I am terrified of going back to A after the baby is born! But that is a good thing -I think. If I am scared of returning to an alcoholic mess, then hopefully I won't.

You are doing fab. Well done. What might happen is......you might think after a while..."is this it!" AF for life? My advice is to just take it slowly and don't think too far ahead. Don't get cocky and think...just 1 drink. If you are anything like me, 1 means 2 bottles!!! Then you are right back to square one. Enjoy your life without the booze. There are no big highs anymore, so you have to find other ways of getting them. I have found that being sober is a very steady line. No more ups and downs. Just even, calmness. Its not bad. Emotionally, I am much more in control of everything. I can handle life basically.

All the best to you. Bella xxxx

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Delight

Being one week AF I can relate. I am on such a high right now about my success, but I know I will eventually "get more used to this feeling" and I fear that feeling. However, I keep focusing on the fact that I NEVER, EVER really enjoyed the NORMAL one glass of wine. I always wanted to drink to my fill. One glass was, quite simply, frustrating. And for me, "my fill" wasn't even fun anymore. There was nothing left of enjoyment anymore. All that was left was the negatives. The regrets. I am hoping that when I lose this incredible feeling of empowerment that I am now feeling (which I am certain to lose over time) that I can focus on the very truth of what my drinking had become. I am hoping that the clearer my head becomes, the clearer that truth will remain with me. Every day since I stoped last week, I have been thinking about this. I have been in a restaurant at least 2 times in which I watched people drinking their "romantic" glass of wine, and I have been able think this through, and "get over" that longing feeling. It is NOT what I want. Because I will NOT be able to have "that romantic glass of wine". It just isn't a reality for me. Would be nice. But it doesn't exist for me. Just doesn't. Guess I will have to find some other nice romantic thing to enjoy...alcohol just doesn't work for me.

I hope this helps you.

Beth

[Deilight]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Thanks everyone!

Yes, the complacency, Beatle. This is not the first time I've tried to stop and I just don't want to fail like I did every other time! Must admit, this is the first time I have been serious with MYSELF! You can lie to everyone else but NEVER to yourself.

Thanks for the long reply Flip, you shed a bright light for me! It's people like you have been sober so long who really inspire me!

db2 and Bak310 - I hear you loud and clear!

Bella, mama Bella, remember to stay sober for yourself before anyone else. Fear, can be helpful but have faith -Fear only the dreaded monster BOOZE!

Well, I'll try stay on my honeymoon island for as long as I possibly can- the sun shines here all the time and the water is pleasant.

XXX

[Accountable for Me]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

For me the honeymoon phase ended at 3 weeks. I didn't give into wanting to drink, but the third week brought forth a wave of depression and the emotions. Dealing with the crap and guilt I suppressed while drinking. It went away about a week and a half later... toughed it through it. I spent a lot of time on here and there were so many people who helped me with suggestions etc...

Then again at the 3 month mark. It wasn't depression, but thinking I will be OK as a moderate drinker. I still didn't give in, because somewhere deep down I knew I was just kidding myself. I was fearful I would turn into a drunken loon again.

My story of FEAR, COMPLACENCY & DENIAL along with BEING HONEST WITH ONESELF:

At the 5.5 month mark I had two glasses of wine. The buzz felt so great that it actually scared me so I slammed on the breaks.

At the 7/8 month mark I did get drunk on a Friday night. The hang over was so bad I decided it wasn't worth it. but then..................

At the 8 month mark I was going through so much crap with my old employer and my marriage that I cracked a cider at 7am. I drank 3. Not proud of that one!!! Alarm bells started ringing so bloody loud in my head, I was terrified!!

Although I am nothing as I was before, in July when I cracked those ciders in the AM, I said NO MORE EVER. I could very much see I was starting to head down a road all too familiar and this wasn't the Yellow Brick Road either. This was a road called Self Destruction.

Being honest with myself was key to finally decided once and for all I cannot ever drink again, and you know... I am so, totally fine with that. Being sober is so much better. So, just a bit about what I have endured since starting the MWO program in December 2006. It hasn't been perfect by any means, but I wouldn't change the experience thus far for anything. I call it growth.

[Deilight]

Honeymoon with sobriety...

Thanks Accountable. I love hearing from a few of the "oldies" as db2 says. It makes it seem more possible and real to stay sober knowing there are people out there who have done it a while!

I'm heading into my 3rd week soon and I'm still on "honeymoon". I'm going to try and bask in this sunshine and swim in this water for as long as is humanly possible!