Career Change

[Guest]

I have been an office worker for the past 20 years. My job reviews used to say "fantastic", "Above and beyond" you get the picture. Used to put on my superman cape and fly around the office.

Fast forward to now... I absolutely hate my job. Can't deal with the constant stress without flying off the handle, am unable to finish the unrealistic workload, bosses and co-workers unsatisfied. I had my first full blown panic attack on Thursday. NOT A GOOD FEELING.

My terrific husband said he thought I should get another job, not just another office job but something totally different. I thought he would be angry, because I have had 5 office jobs in the last 10 years (are you seeing a pattern here). Guess I am just afraid of the unknown.

Well, I made a call to a friend who owns a daycare. She was so kind, said they may have something for July 1st, and would meet me today.

I know this really isnt' about drinking, but since I've been sober I've been seeing things more clearly. I've got my physical health back, now I need to work on my mental health.

Has anyone else taken a big "plunge"? How did it work out?

[Guest]

Career Change

Hi SoberMom,
Have long have you been not drinking? Kids are very stressful as you know by your username!

[Guest]

Career Change

Sobermom,

Yep, I hate my job too, and although I haven't taken the plunge out of there, I'm building up my strength and getting ideas as to my next move. I've read some of your other posts, and I get the sense that more than anything you really want to grow - that there just isn't much fulfillment going on in your life right now. Maybe I see this because it's where I'm at in my life too. I desperately want to find fulfilling work, make something of my life, live up to my potential... because without that we are cheating ourselves.

When I was drinking all those years, (and I've only been abs about a month to your 7) I did a lot of growing and moving on, but between the struggle to survive and the drinking, there wasn't much time or energy left to really really "go for mine". Now I'm beginning to get back that great sense of myself, and I think just realizing that you're in the wrong job and wanting to do something about it is huge. You think it really isn't about drinking, but in a way when drinking is our reward at the end of the day, it makes us complacent. I would think - why go to the trouble of making difficult changes, I've got my drinks waiting for me at home, it will erase this whole horrible day...so I do think it is at least partly about drinking.

So I think you're on the right track. Why not check out the day care job, see how it goes? I really like the saying "when one door closes, another one opens", and I think we drinkers can sometimes seek out a little too much comfort & isolation, not wanting too much change to happen (ME!), but it sounds like you're definitely ready for some! Having a supportive husband doesn't hurt a bit either.

All the best
Deirdre

[Guest]

Career Change

You know what I'm being jerky today- Deirdre is right- if you have such a supportive husband and you really want a change, don't being afraid of the change, change is always good no matters what happens. This could be what you were meant to do the whole time. Good luck with your meeting with her!! You sound miserable at work, I think I was just projecting because I am miserable too and feel very stuck. I loved it until just a little bit ago when someone I sit next to went to my boss and said I was on the phone too much lately (my stepmom had lung surgery 2 weeks ago and I was on the phone with family quite a bit). My boss was cool but now I despise this woman for her insensitivity and sit 5 feet away from her her. We are in cubicles, not sure how you sat, but there isn't really an expectation of too much privacy in that kind of an environment and when you have an emergancy it would be nice for some leeway. Sorry to vent but the job I thought was not so bad has now become awkward and frankly i'm a little miffed that my boss didn't tell her to get over it. What if my stepmom turned out of have lung cancer (thank god she didn't). Then what? Would they have had to move me?

I've always felt unfulfilled in what I do and never had the chance to make a switch. I'm just jealous!

[Guest]

Career Change

Sobermom -

I was in the exact same place you are a year ago. I have low blood pressure and twice while at work I was rushed to the hospital with exceptionally high blood pressure, racing heart etc all brought on by stress. Finally I just said "Enough" and quit. I took a year off and it has been wonderful. What i learned is I have absolutely no desire to go back to where I was or to anything remotely like it. A total change can be good and I think you should go for it.

[Guest]

Career Change

I agree! If you absolutley hate it then you just get another office job or something else. You seem to be easily employable if you have had 5 jobs in ten years.

I too have been thinking about a big change. I work in the corporate world, have a horrible commute and although I do really like my job, feel I am missing so much with my kids. They are 4 and 2.

I am conserned about the money of course. Although we do have money saved. But I have to be honest, I used to drink out of bordem sometimes and I don't want this to happen if I stay home with my girls.

I didn't have a long list of projects to day and I got a bit bored and was thinking how nice it would be to throw back a few. I HATE being bored.

I didn't drink, but I am so on the fence about staying home.

If you have something lined up, I say DO IT!

-Nina

[Guest]

Career Change

hi sobermom.

you might not believe this but every job i applied for that i'm qualified for i havent tot but every job i[ve gone or applied that I'm not qualifed for i've got!!!!!!! - am I contrary or what!!!

this means I've often been terrified at the beginning and worked just so hard to find my feet when I start at a new place but its worked for me!!!! its meant that I'm not scared of throwing myself into something new because I am quite confident in my skills of adapting.

from what little i know about you, sounds like you would also have a range of skills.. 'known' as 'fantastic.. life skills.. general experience..negotiating with kids.. and i'm sure there is more and I often think we denegrate the skills it takes to STAY at home (I know I did)

part of something new is an adventure and exciting - I wonder if its time for a new adventure for you.

Brigid

[Guest]

Career Change

Thanks everyone for your comments. Truthfully I probably should have done this years ago, but with my "alcohol rewards" it was do-able. Now it's not.
I have 4 days of work this week, then 4 days in Disneyland, when I get back I have a meeting with the daycare lady.

Wish me strength to get through the week.

[Guest]

Career Change

My thoughts and prayers are with you! I left a job two years ago with a psycho-b*tch boss and have been self-employed since. It was scary as hell, --- very scary financially. There have been some tough moments financially, but I have never been happier, professionally! I wasn't really making a living before, but on the verge of really making it--finally--financially on my own, for the first time in my adult life! This could be a very good move for you! JUST BELIEVE!

Hugs,
Kathy

[Guest]

Career Change

I recently switched into a new position at my job. I absolutely hate it. I don't want to come across with a ton of execuses, but I think some of my binge drinking lately has a lot to do with it. Similiar to you, I have changed jobs at least 6 times these past 10 years. I without a doubt have a pattern. When the going gets tough, I just can't handle it. I earn a decent living. I can't just up and quit, yet, I think I need to work in a Florist Shop or for a Vet... Doing something I love. I know it's just a job and a necessity in life, yet, I'm realizing there is no point in making myself miserable.