So Sad

[Guest]

Hi All,

This is only partly about me. It's more about my Mom, who is 80 years old. I'll be calling her soon to say Happy Mother's Day.

Last night I got a call from one of my dearest childhood friends; her Mom died yesterday morning. Her Mom is my Mom's best friend.

My Dad has been dead since 1993. One of her sisters died in 1996. My Uncle Lee died 2 years ago. But in the last 6 months several people have died. My former mother-in-law died right after Thanksgiving, which really upset my Mom (and my daughter and me). Then my Uncle Carl in January. Then a few others in her circle, and now her best friend. She has one sister left, who, fortunately, is younger and in good shape.

My Mother is a tough old cookie, and she is worrying about everyone else, but I know that deep inside, she is hurting. My sister told me that my Mom said she has "too damn many things to do to worry about dying" herself (spunky, huh? ). The telling piece is that she asked my sister to make her a drink last night--this woman who maybe has two drinks in the course of a year!

My heart is breaking for her as she watches her friends and relatives go, one by one, and also for myself, as I wonder how long she will be around...don't even want to think about that one!

Thanks for listening all. What a melancholy post for Mother's Day.......

Hugs to all!
Kathy:

[Guest]

So Sad

Kathy- I'm so sorry to hear that story. Big hug right back to you.- Brian

[Guest]

So Sad

Kathy,
I'm so sorry about your mom's friend. It sounds like your mom is a pretty tough woman, but it still has to be very hard for her even if she doesn't show it.

Take care Kathy!

[Guest]

So Sad

Wow Kathy,

It just never gets easier does it? That is alot to handle in such a short period of time! I hope you are able to make home for the funeral so that you can be there to help support your mom, and she you! Take care Kathy!!

Donna

[Guest]

So Sad

Yeah Kathy, sounds like a visit with Mom might be in order if you can... I know I'm so blessed to have such a great & nutty Mom(she's a crack-up!...whoda thunk?...doesn't hardly drink though, thank God),
Sorry to hear about all of the losses so close to you recently. Life really is a very precious thing, we just never know. Gotta live & Love for all it's worth! Hugs, Judie

[Guest]

So Sad

OMG Kathy, this is a sad time for you & your mom - so sorry. I think it's wonderful that she has one hell of a fabulous daughter though. You're in my thoughts...

Happy Mothers Day Kathy!
Deirdre

[Guest]

So Sad

Its a sad place to be for her, but odds are she has battled on through thick and thin and the oldies develop a resilience that some of us can only dream about.

My nan went through the same, she was a very social person and kept busy with the "centre" and "the Salvos" and always kept in touch with her family. She was one of 14 and sadly watched all her siblings pass away, she was third last to go in 1999 at age 93.

She always said to me, whenever I was going through a bad patch (and we were very very close) "you have to fight it darling, fight it until you accept it and get through it but don't let it get the better of you because you will go down" and she was damn right. I always think of her and she is always with me, just like your Mum is and always will be. Especially when I polish the furniture she sits on my shoulder and smiles :eek !

Your mother has you and her family to keep close to and while she has strength she will continue to live on and be a support to everyone around her. Make sure she eats well and drinks plenty of fluids, does she like spoken word books - if she does you can borrow tapes fromthe library and she can listen to them if she gets a tough space. Better than tv because you have to use the imagination! and this can keep their brain activity up. My Nan used to love them!

Unfortunately the passing of the older members of our families is very sad, and if they have had a good life then it is acceptable and understandable. Try not to let it get you down too much - rejoice the fact that you had time with them rather than lament their loss - if you can get to that place. We all need to have a cry sometimes and thats good too.

Chin up, onwards and upwards, we are all here to help.
Love Jools xx

[Guest]

So Sad

I'm sorry to hear that Kathy.... death has a way of making us ponder the deepest things in life. I know you wish you could take your Mom's pain away, but at the same time, I guess this is a natural part of the life we will all experience at some point if we live long enough. Unless we die first, we will undoubtedly have to see loved ones go before us as we get old. And I think Jools is right.... I think somehow life prepares them/ us for it and they have a resiliency that we can only dream of.

I hope your day was special with you and your daughter, and my thoughts are with you!

Allie