Damn!!

[Cinders]

Damn!!

I am sitting in the hotel room this morning hoping I can get my act together well enough to get to the airport.

I didn't drink all that much last night, 3 glasses of wine, but I am suffering a panic attack this morning. I have not had one of these in 15 years or so!! Shakes, heart pounding, hard to breathe. Geez.

I guess I got more upset than I realized last night.

Thank all of you for being so caring. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I was so scared.

Cindi

[wwbarb]

Damn!!

So you weren't home while all this was going on and couldn't reach anyone? You poor thing! Was daughter really "asleep"?

Take care of yourself.

[Determinator]

Damn!!

Deeby, try to eat a little something if you can...it will help stabilize your blood sugar.
XXXXXX to you hon!!!

[Cinders]

Damn!!

WW,

Yes. She was actually asleep. She had not been drinking or anything. She has had a flu and is finally getting over it. It was a bad one. I do understand that she was tired. She has been really sick but not hearing the phone and not setting an alarm to go get her child!!!

What bothers me is that I HAD to have wine to get through the nerves. I am a very weak person. You know, life is going to throw this stuff at me and I must learn to deal with it without alcohol, my drug of choice.

Oh well. Back on the AF train I go!!

Cindi

[memarcie]

Damn!!

Cindi I'm sorry you had a rough night.

You are NOT a weak person! Look at how far you've come, give yourself some credit. Yea, you slipped up, but next time something happens to put you on edge, you should have a plan in place on what you can do to keep away from the booze!

Hang in there!

[Guest]

Damn!!

Cindi, darling I can so identify with you my Grandson is my world. The mere thought that someone would not be there for him would send me over the edge, especially since you couldn't do it yourself. Start again, take some calms forte for the panic attack (if you have it) Our children, they never stop worrying us do they. I have a horrible story about mine right now, 6 months pregmant with twins one is dead. Her doctor said she will deliver both. She is supposed to be on bed rest the asshole she is married to won't let her be. He even was so angry with her the other day, he SPAT in her face. The most vile thing one can do to another. I have to fiqure out a way to get her out of this mess. So darling I understand oh so much the need for that drink. You'll be better today. We are in control. we just don't feel it all the time.
hugs
mar

[Happier]

Damn!!

Cindi,
You made me cry because I probably would have done the same thing. Marcie is right and next time you should have a plan in place so that you keep away from the alcohol.
I know it sounds silly but maybe you can get one of those squeeze balls to release some of the tension. Anything but hitting the bottle.
Take care! xxoo

[YoungAtHeart]

Damn!!

Hey Cindi,

You've been reaching for the bottle for quite a while for relief, and this was a big scare. It takes practice to get through stressful situations without alcohol, and you will learn a lot from this. We all have faith in you.

Mar, I'm sorry that your daughter is going through what she is. You must be beside yourself.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[paula]

Damn!!

Cindi you are not a weak person, you are sensitive and going through a bad patch.
I have grandchildren and understand how you must have felt.
Mar so sorry for whats going on in your life at the moment, thank god your daughter
has you.
Love Paula.xx

[rustop61]

Damn!!

Hi Cindi

Sorry you had such a scare. You have been so strong the last few weeks this is just a blip and we have all been there. Enjoy the rest of the week-end.

Rustop

[bootcampbarbie]

Damn!!

hey cindi. just found this post. so sorry about all of that. so happy that today i'm imagining you are sober as it is now saturday. well don't we all just love our db2 cindi girl.

[Guest]

Damn!!

Sorry I`ve not been around much Cindi, and sorry too that you had such great upset. Hope you`re O.K. I think the world of you and want success so badly for you.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Cinders]

Damn!!

Everyone,

I am home and doing well. Stayed sober yesterday and doing so again today.

My panic attack subsided by about 2:00, if that is what it was. I am not sure.

Mar, I don't know what to say. I cannot imagine my daughter being in a relationship so destructive. My heart goes out to you and her on top of the loss of one the the twins. So sad.

Thank you all for your kind words. I will stop next time I get so scared and make sure I think before I react. The timing was bad, I was in the lobby when the school called me, standing right next to the bar. As my heart started pounding, I just looked up and said "a glass of merlot, please." Three later, I went up to my room and just wanted to kick myself in the "arse" as Flip and company would say.

It sure didn't help anything, did it?

Cindi

[Guest]

Damn!!

no, it didn't help anything. But you thought it did ayt that moment. Cindi I so understand reaching for somrthing that is comfortable and makes you feel reassured. It was one day. You've learned, move on honey. Thank you for your kind words, if I dwell to much on my situation I may well find myself reaching for mutiple chardonnay's.
You are GREAT!!
smiles
Mar

[Guest]

Damn!!

Glad to hear you`re back on the wagon Cindi and that you`re feeling better.

Starlight Impress x