I had tried times without number to stop drinking over the last ten years, but I always failed. So why am I successful this time? I have asked myself this question several times over the last year. Well, one of the reasons for my success is this place, MWO, and for that I thank Roberta Jewel from the bottom of my heart. Another reason are all the wonderful people here, you have all in your turn inspired me, made me laugh, made me cry with some of the things you have posted, you have educated me and brought so much richness into my life, and for that I sincerely thank each and every one of you.
The wonderful thing about MWO is the way everyone, regardless of nationality, colour, politics or religion is accepted into this large family and supported, helped and encouraged to reach their goals, whatever they may be.
I am convinced though that the most important reason I have succeeded this time is all down to one thing, it was something which had been staring me in the face for years, but, despite the fact that somewhere in the deepest and darkest parts of my brain there was a small voice whispering a certain word to me, I choose to ignore it.
I ignored that voice until a year ago today, when I looked, and I mean really looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a bloated and blotchy face, greasy hair and bloodshot eyes. I couldn?t ignore that voice anymore, because now it wasn?t whispering, it was shouting, and the word it was shouting in my head was ALCOHOLIC.
It took courage to admit it but I knew the voice was right, and as I looked at myself I said, ? I am an alcoholic ?. That one sentence helped me to change my life. Why? Because after years of denial I had at long last done something positive. I had accepted the fact that I was and always would be an alcoholic with all that entails.
So, by listening to that voice , I ended the most horrible journey I had ever been on and it was by accepting what it was saying that I started the journey of a lifetime. Because that is what it will be, a lifetimes journey.
We all say on here that by joining MWO we have taken the first step towards beating the booze, but no, for me that first step was as I have said, ACCEPTING that I was an alcoholic. Finding MWO was the second step, and from that day to this I have been putting one foot in front of the other until eventually I arrived at one whole year AF.
I know now that even one drink is out of the question for me, that is what acceptance is all about. I know what I am and I have changed my life to accommodate this. I think I was an alcoholic even before I took my first drink. Looking back to the early years I seem to remember most of my friends could stop after about 4 or 5 drinks, but not me, I always wanted more. As time went on I wanted more and more, until that morning a year ago when I finally learned the lesson of ACCEPTANCE.
Well, heres to the next year and all the years after that. I?ve got so much to be thankful for, and again its all because I have accepted what I am, an alcoholic.
God bless you all, and thank you for always being there for me,
Love, Louise xxx
PS. The definition of the word Acceptance is,
THE MENTAL ATTITUDE THAT SOMETHING IS BELIEVEABLE AND SHOULD BE ACCEPTED AS TRUE.
Comment