Hi friends:
Another strange thing I did today, purely as a coping mechanism. It indeed shows me either my strength, or my admitted weakness. You can decide for yourself. I'll be 22 months AF in about a week. Looking forward to 2 full years here in December.
Here's the story. I was in a major brainstorming peak mode at work today, working over some quoting figures for a future manufacturing job, that's a potential monster worth tens of millions a year. I had a flash of insight late in the day, and my boss was already gone. He had already gone to his favorite bar, like usual. Now mind you, in years past, I would be sitting right beside him, slamming back the brews like no tomorrow.
So driving home after work, the road happens to go past the bar mentioned above. The bosses vehicle was parked outside, and for a few short seconds, I thought I would stop, go inside, and discuss my idea and insight with him to see if he thought it would fly.
Then, the defense mechanisms all kicked in hard. I just stopped my truck across the street at a gas station, got my cell phone out, and called him. He was only 50 yards away maybe, but I was just not going to go inside that bar. I could see in my mind the massive goading, or greetings, or temptations, or a hundred other things all calling out to me to "have just one".
NO FRICKING WAY, was I going to put myself through that. Not at this stage of the game. It would just be too painful. Too unpleasant.
So unknown to my boss, I was a mere few steps walk away while I spoke on the cell to him.
We have to do, what we have to do to beat this thing.
BTW, he thought my idea was great. Now that I'm sober, the good ideas seem to come more often lately.
Neil
Another strange thing I did today, purely as a coping mechanism. It indeed shows me either my strength, or my admitted weakness. You can decide for yourself. I'll be 22 months AF in about a week. Looking forward to 2 full years here in December.
Here's the story. I was in a major brainstorming peak mode at work today, working over some quoting figures for a future manufacturing job, that's a potential monster worth tens of millions a year. I had a flash of insight late in the day, and my boss was already gone. He had already gone to his favorite bar, like usual. Now mind you, in years past, I would be sitting right beside him, slamming back the brews like no tomorrow.
So driving home after work, the road happens to go past the bar mentioned above. The bosses vehicle was parked outside, and for a few short seconds, I thought I would stop, go inside, and discuss my idea and insight with him to see if he thought it would fly.
Then, the defense mechanisms all kicked in hard. I just stopped my truck across the street at a gas station, got my cell phone out, and called him. He was only 50 yards away maybe, but I was just not going to go inside that bar. I could see in my mind the massive goading, or greetings, or temptations, or a hundred other things all calling out to me to "have just one".
NO FRICKING WAY, was I going to put myself through that. Not at this stage of the game. It would just be too painful. Too unpleasant.
So unknown to my boss, I was a mere few steps walk away while I spoke on the cell to him.
We have to do, what we have to do to beat this thing.
BTW, he thought my idea was great. Now that I'm sober, the good ideas seem to come more often lately.
Neil
eace:
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