My Friday night and saturday night drinking has turned into Fr/Sat/sun/Mon this week. Am feeling down. When am I going to get serious? Friend has 40th birthday party this Friday -I either go and drink or don't go, and next Friday have booked nice restaurant for our wedding anniversary. In my mind this means it's unthinkable to go totally AF for the moment. I can tell myself that my attitude is all wrong, but attitude is what it's all about. It's my attitude and willpower that achieves the AF days, not my logic or what I know to be right and wrong.
In the meantime my six year old is being bullied by two older girls at school. She says when she sees them her 'tummy goes wiggly and she feels like she's crying but only on the inside so they can't see'. Obviously I've written to her teacher. And my 11 year old came home in tears last night as some older boys had pushed him off his chair and onto the floor during a study period and flung his books and pens all around the room. He had to scramble around picking them all up pushing back tears so no one would think he wasn't able to cope! I wrote to the school, and got a reply saying that they agreed this was unacceptable, but that they have 80 chairs for what can be at times 150 students. I have even volunteered to go and supervise myself. THeir school has over 3.000 pupils. We are expats here, and have no alternative schools. Local schools would be taught in a language they cannot speak, and private schools exceed our means. These are my 'babies'. I find this so upsetting and I feel so impotent.
So yes, against my better judgement, last night I thought 'sod it' about drinking, even though I knew I'd disappoint my dear husband.
In the meantime my six year old is being bullied by two older girls at school. She says when she sees them her 'tummy goes wiggly and she feels like she's crying but only on the inside so they can't see'. Obviously I've written to her teacher. And my 11 year old came home in tears last night as some older boys had pushed him off his chair and onto the floor during a study period and flung his books and pens all around the room. He had to scramble around picking them all up pushing back tears so no one would think he wasn't able to cope! I wrote to the school, and got a reply saying that they agreed this was unacceptable, but that they have 80 chairs for what can be at times 150 students. I have even volunteered to go and supervise myself. THeir school has over 3.000 pupils. We are expats here, and have no alternative schools. Local schools would be taught in a language they cannot speak, and private schools exceed our means. These are my 'babies'. I find this so upsetting and I feel so impotent.
So yes, against my better judgement, last night I thought 'sod it' about drinking, even though I knew I'd disappoint my dear husband.
c: :heart:
Comment