HERE I AM AGAIN

[debruce]

Well here we go again. I am at rock bottom at the moment. It was my birthday on Monday and a friend spent Sunday with me and we had a girls day out. Was nice, but 4 bottles of wine later we were in trouble. My husband is furious with me for making a fool of myself and him again, and I don't remember what I have done!!!! He hasn't spoken to me since and I had the worst birthday anyone could have. My friend and I are very alike, so we were both as bad as each other. Why can't we stop when we have had enough and just leave it at that and have a nice girls day out together!!! But no we still had to carry on until she was refused service at the pub and I don't remember. I have a Dr's appt today and need to get some professional help. I don't really know what else to do and this was offered to me the last time I saw her. I do know though that I have to be alcohol free, no moderation for me, it just does not work and I am only fooling myself. I think about having 1 wine when I get home from work (all the time) and then before I know it, I have had heaps more. I have been off the naltrexone for a week now as I had to go to have a small op. Am starting back on it this arvo. I know no one can help me but myself, but felt the need to write it down today.

[Beaches]

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Debruce, glad to see you back and sorry your birthday turned out to be so rough. How did the doctor's appt go? Good luck going AF and there is ton of support here.

[Cinders]

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Debruce,

Glad you jumped back in after the birthday lapse.

I am sorry you are in trouble with hubby. The non-drinkers just don't "get" it. I know, I've been married to a non-drinker for a long time. He just stays confused about the whole, can't stop at one thing..

Keep trying, though. Only thing that will work eventually. One day at a time.

You can do it and so can I.

Take care,
Cindi

[debruce]

HERE I AM AGAIN

Going to Dr this arvo. Thanks for the reply. No one to blame for the birthday disaster though except me.

[debruce]

HERE I AM AGAIN

Thanks Cindi,
My hubby isn't a non drinker. He actually drinks every day himself, always has a beer or 3 after work, but lite beer and he knows when to stop. I wonder why I couldn't have been like that.

[debruce]

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Well went to the Dr, and am making an appt to see a drug and alcohol counseller next week. Think this is what I need.

[Cinders]

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Super!! Steps in the right direction.

Also, make sure you have a positive plan, too. Discuss the plan with the counselor.

I do think we need to arm ourselves with what to do ifs. Otherwise we get blind sided when we are not expecting it.

Good luck with the counselor and keep us posted how it goes.

Cindi

[Beaches]

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Good for you Debruce. I am so happy to hear that.

Take care of yourself.

[beatle]

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Good luck debruce. I have a husband like that-- he drinks a beer almost every night. Sometimes 2. But that's it. Never more. It's not self-dicipline, its just how "normal" people are. It sucks to be born with a gene that says "don't stop" everytime alcohol enters the body.

[debruce]

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Sure does suck.....anyway onwards and upwards, Day 4 today.
Hope all is well with you all and thanks for the support

[memarcie]

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great job debruce. I hope you find a counselor that you like and works well for you!

[MDBiker]

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good for you. You are doing the right thing and it should pay great dividends. Thanks for the words from your heart.

bear

[bootcampbarbie]

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oh i'm hoping that when hubby sees the steps you are taking he'll thaw out. it's not easy being you. i have a normie hubby. and well it is just that he just aches to see me go through it all that is all. he gets scared and he is helpless to see me crash and burn. but even though i'm stupid as a mouse dosing up on the topa til it levels off. he said he'd rather have a stupid mouse, then a drunk or a dead mouse. so he's happy i'm sober as i drink like you hon. and he's happy i don't have any drinking buddies around me anymore either. he chased em all away. lmao i do feel your pain though. it'll pass but i do feel the pain, embarrasment and bewilderment. i haven't a clue how they can just stop or not at all. well, guess we are just the lucky ones humm? cuz look at all of the friends we get to make on mwo...... so get the meds and make sure to keep the hubby.

[rapala]

HERE I AM AGAIN

hi debruce. I also have the husband who can drink and turn it off. So since he does drink, sometimes I get mad at him for saying something. Like a hypocrite. But I do know it is different and I believe he just says stuff because he cares... I wish you luck that aspect.

I saw my first councelor last Tuesday. I really felt that I can change the way I deal with certain issues differently, and hopefully will boost my esteem. The hardest thing I need to do is distance myself from my best friend and drinking buddy. We would always get together and have beers, I started refusing some of the invites, on my husbands request to slow down... In the past three months she has gone from a good friend, mom, and wife to a sad lonely person-- because of the beer. I have begged her to get help which makes her mad at me. She has been going out all night long, has already had one dui and several affairs. Probably more than I want to know about. But because I feel so sad and bad for her I started drinking more too. I turned into a sad mess because we were really close. and now I need to continue to say "no thank you" to her because I refuse to go down her sad lonely path.
I absolutely refuse to be dragged down further by a "friend".

k. sorry to be so lengthy. but I hope you and your friend find AF place you need.