Tried to spread the word!!!

[mintytess]

Before joining MWO I was on another forum for alcoholics. It was OK, but they all seemed to want to ram AA down my throat, and I just know it isn't for me. I didn't find the place very helpful at all as the only feedback I got was "go to a meeting".

I then found this place and although I can't get on here very much ( have had so many visitors lately ) I just find it so much more helpful. You're all so kind and supportive.

I thought I'd share MWO with the other "site" and I've had quite a few positive posts, Some saying they were really impressed and want to join up but some of the AAers were really quite rude and this shocked me. They do not believe anything but AA works. Told me I should read the book and follow the steps (whatever they are !!!! ) otherwise I'd be doomed to failure.

I was quite upset!

What does it matter how any of us get off the drink as long as it works?

Don't think I want to go back there again.

I much prefer to stick with you lot.

Love Mint XX

ps..nothing against AAers....just know it isn't for me.

[Flip]

Tried to spread the word!!!

I hear you Minty. AA has been acused of being a cult like organisation, and with this sort of thing going on it's easy to see why.

I agree that surely the important thing is dealing with your drinking problem - no matter how you choose to do that.

As a die in the wool athiest, I'm never going to agree with its tenet.

[mintytess]

Tried to spread the word!!!

Hi Flip.

Yeah...When I first admitted to myself I was an alcoholic, that was the first site i came across. I felt so desperate!.. Don't get me wrong ....there are lots of nice people there , but most of them just told me to get to a meeting asap! no real encouragment or support unless I did...

I'm living out in Spain..don't speak Spanish, but they gave me an address of a meeting place only a couple of miles away. I know that was very kind of them....I even went and sussed the place out but, having "researched" AA on here I just knew it wasn't for me.

I thought I was doing them a favour by giving them a link to this site....Most were very impressed but the odd one or two really upset me.

Ahh well!!! Each to his own eh? I love it here and you're all helping me so much .That's what counts eh?
Thanks,

Mint XXX

[BILLYJACK]

Tried to spread the word!!!

I gained some really good friends at AA that did help me along the way to stay sober for a yr and a half, however, I just got TIRED of hearing the SAME OLD BS stories time/time and how I HAD to do this or do that or I would FAIL,and guess what? After a yr and a half, I did go out and drink again.

I had GOD shoved down my throat as a kid,and though AA does have its spirtiual side, many of the members also tell you that you must find GOD.. I'll find GOD my OWN way and dont need anybody to shove him down my throat.

Do what works best for YOU. Be OPEN MINDED and understand that you are an alcoholic.

Best of luck.

[jane jane]

Tried to spread the word!!!

Minty, I went to precisely ONE AA meeting and fled in horror. And this was a "good" group---all women, all of us about the same socio-economic level (do NOT mean to sound snobbish) and it meets in a pretty room with a fireplace at an Episcopal church. But the first person I saw when I walked in (trembling, tearful, terrified) was an older wealthy woman whose husband has a lot of business dealings with my husband! The look on both our faces was probably comical...each thinking, "ooooooh thank GOD this is 'anonymous!'" But of course now we are not "anonymous" to each other, and I'll see her at a party next week, and...ugh, I'm so sorry I went to that meeting. They were definitely the "do it our way or FAIL" sorts, and all wanted my phone number so they could "support" me. No way was I giving out my number! I wish them well, but...AA is indeed not for everyone.

[karbihere]

Tried to spread the word!!!

Good morning all, interesting topic today. Had to respond for what I have found with AA is a bunch of drunks trying to stay sober one day at a time. For me the big drunk that I am this has helped. I know that drinking is but a prickle of my problem. For me any reason is a reason to drink. I have a hard time living life on lifes terms with out booze. I have no control over the world or anything happening in it. But today I do have a choice and mine today is not to drink. And this website has helped me as well, I know that I can always come here and know that Im not battling this thing by myself. Have a great day!!!

[Saint Jude]

Tried to spread the word!!!

For me... AA made feel sick, weak, defeated, and VERY F_N THIRSTY! Sitting there talking about drinking and how bad I had it, going on & on about the past hashing out all my history & problems...
Nothing positive regarding the future... To me it was more like "One yesterday @ a time" ...

And then there's the old 13 steppin horn dogs...give me a break!

[lorisunshine]

Tried to spread the word!!!

Jude, you are hilarious. Was that when everybody was still puffing up a blue cloud?
Love ya girl.
Lori

[Finding My Self]

Tried to spread the word!!!

Judie - you're great! "One yesterday at a time..." indeed! Aaaagh! I used to feel thirsty too!

I was in town today and saw 4 people I used to see at meetings....I kepy my head down and walked on....two crossed the street coz I gues the think I've 'gone out there' (too b****y right!!!) and would contaminate them if they spoke to me, and two who were really kind to me at first and I actually owe them much but I coudn't face the lecture....so.... And I'm not letting them spoil here! They are happy with AA so that's good. I'm not going to change their mind - why would I want to if they're happy? - but they're not having a go at mine! The memories of those 'rooms' gives me the shudders....(but then again maybe I'm just lucky....)

Mint - good thread. I hope you find your answers!
Love FMF xx

[trixietrack]

Tried to spread the word!!!

st jude "one yesterday at a time" you said it.
AA works for people who have absolutely hit rock bottom. I have never been to a meeting, but I have friends who have, and they are sober now but seem different. do you have a link to the site you mentioned minty? I am curious

[Gumby]

Tried to spread the word!!!

AA memories

although I am new to this forum, I am not new to addiction. Coming from a family of addicts and remembering alanon....OMG that was scary, I had contemplated going to some AA meetings but grew fearful of running into someone I knew, or my other experience was in nursing school, we went to a meeting, all anonymous and some guy would not stop trying to pick me up, that was very uncomfortable....wanted to tell him off but I was there as a student. 2 of my brothers had great success with AA, but I think their personal situations where so bad.... like someone else said they had hit rock bottom.They were also married to AA so to speak a meeting a day for the first year....WOW. My sister on the other hand has not had success with the meetings and has relapsed several times. Of course her demon is worse than alcohol....doesn't seem possible but... benzodiazipines are the worst!!! The success behind AA is mostly knowing you are not alone. MWO offers that, and you can keep your confidentiality and at your convienience or need. I don't feel like I am at rock bottom, trying to avoid that, MWO seems just right for my situation and others as I read thru these threads. I have only experienced kind words from everyone despite our mental anguishes and addictions!!Thank You All

[Saint Jude]

Tried to spread the word!!!

In all fairness... I do have a few friends who attend AA that I run into now & then, a couple of them I Email jokes & nice thoughts to.
We just don't really discuss our different aspects of "recovery" much. We both know we have something that seems to work for each of us. Just keep it @ arms length so to speak. But they're also people I've known since childhood, and are friends of my Family as well.

I do resect that AA has helped many. And if that works for you ... GREAT!
That's the beauty of it we do have FREE WILL. I just didn't feel like it was allowed, so much in AA for me.

But there are others... the ol 13 steppers I have no respect or time for. I call Bullsh*t on that whole game. AA is suppossed to be about honesty & coming clean with your life. Not manipulating somone who's vulnerable & looking for help.

[jane jane]

Tried to spread the word!!!

I almost hesitate to re-post, having been to only one AA meeting, but this is too good a thread to let go. I think that the main thing I hated was that defeatist attitude, the "we are powerless" crap. We most CERTAINLY are not powerless!

I didn't object to the "higher power" aspect; I am a devout Catholic and have made many confessions about my wine addiction to my priest, have prayed, and believe there is a loving God somewhere who will help me get over this. If I didn't have this faith I'd probably go jump off a bridge this afternoon!

But AA hits it all too hard. No chance to discuss, just "me this me that" with that ridiculous hand-holding chanting at the end. SO not me! I'll do it "my way" or not at all...

[12many]

Tried to spread the word!!!

I went to several different meetings and really became convinced that if AA became the only way, I would grow to become someone that my wife and I liked alot less. I thought I would have to learn to speak recoverese. It seemed like it would be a regular dose of shock-therapy, because I haven't really bottomed out at all and that seemed to be an elegibility requirement. So, the best thing I hoped for was to come to meetings and renew my fear of what I might become, by listening to gut-wrenching stories. So, that's all negative. Why no positive?


AA has helped alot of people, but its not for me and its a shame that they advertise themselves as the only way.

[Cinders]

Tried to spread the word!!!

I always read these posts about AA with interest. I really would like to go to an AA meeting but my lifestyle precludes it.

No, I do not like the "I am powerless" thing even though I am a Christian because God gave us free will, thank Him, and that means my goofs are MINE to deal with.

However, I truly do want to go to an AA meeting. If I can find a good one, I might try to start going regularly, there are some that meet on weekends. I figure every step I can take in the right direction is a good one.

BUT, if people start pressuring me. All bets are off. Even my dear, sweet, (hah) husband knows better than to do that. Want a guarantee of push back?? Push me. :H

Love,
Cindi