ADJUSTING??

[debruce]

"Yes,im SCARED because I have not learned to have a ''GOOD TIME'' without involving booze and when im sober, I cant stand to be around people that are drinking, they irritate me. So im going to have to LEARN how to have a ''GOOD TIME'' without involving booze"

I have just read the above paragraph in another thread. This question worries me too. HOW do I go out and supposedly have a good time without having a drink. Will I always equate a drink with a good time. How do I switch around my way of thinking. I am always thinking about this and often saying how will I be at a party??
Just finished Day 4 AF, so far so good.
Any advice on the above issue will be appreciated.

[hart]

ADJUSTING??

That's a hard one. I have done it. I've been to a party and drank pop. I found I didn't enjoy the party.....but not because I wasn't drinking, but because it was loud and people were smoking heavily (which people who are drinking tend to do) and it just wasn't that fun.

But did I think I was missing out on fun? No I didn't. I was thinking that I had been spending wasted time in that situation.

I must admit I was with my husband who was AF at the time too, so that was easier than say, I had been alone and not drinking.

Yes. It's possible to have fun w/o drinking. I've had some great times w/some people in chat here and they were totally AF, and I have been on rare ocassion too.

I wanted to answer you, not because I have the perfect answer, but I want to know you are being "listened" to , and to bump up your post.

[cowgal]

ADJUSTING??

fun

I have some fun when not drinking, but DEFINITELY not around loud, beligerant drunk people, they repeat the same things over and over, you cannot have meaningful conversations w/ them (or they probably won't remember if you do:H )

Try going to movies, out to eat, or just walking the mall?? Do you have hobbies?? Maybe there is a club or 2 you could join??

Just a thought (or 2!!!)

Love and hugs,


MA

[beatle]

ADJUSTING??

There have been a few threads on this theme earlier. Sorry I can't recall the titles. But the general concensus seems to be that it takes a little while and you do have to grin and bear it until you get some good strategies that work.

I normally seek out the company of other AFers -- easy to spot the pregnant women, but also drivers and just other people who don't drink. In addition, it helps to realise that the drinkers don't notice how awkward and socially inept you feel.

I hope you can find one of those previous threads on this subject and/or others here contribute about their experiences as this is an important part of the whole journey towards getting and staying away from alcohol.

[rapala]

ADJUSTING??

I agree, it is hard to think about going anywhere or do anything without the alcohol. For example,,, if you were going to a party wouldn't you make sure you had a couple before hand, or going camping, or boating.. gotta make sure the beer is cold. I think about it all the time too. I think that is one thing that makes it so hard cuz we are always thinking about it... I don't have your answer about going out..-haven't tried yet .. too bad there is not a "thinking too much" on and off switch.. you seem pretty "in control" so far. I guess all you can do is walk in with a bottle of water and see what happens....

[Accountable for Me]

ADJUSTING??

Good suggestions Cowgal!

Unfortunately you may have to give up the drinking get-together's for a while. I find being around people who are drunk, irritating as well.

If you feel too tempted and feel compelled to jump in - to fit in, you may want to reconsider going. You have to keep in mind you are in the process of changing your lifestyle. A lot of things are going to change for you being AF.

I know it sucks and I have been there myself. After you get a bit of sobriety under your belt you may feel strong enough to be around drinkers.

[free bird]

ADJUSTING??

I find going to events where people are drinking and I am not entertaining some times. Drunks can be very funny if you are not trying to compare yourself to them or act like them. Be yourself and be confident that you have the courage not to go there with them.

[debruce]

ADJUSTING??

Some good pointers. Thank you all for replying
Heading in to Day 5 AF today. It is Friday for me so the weekend is ahead. Think I will have a nice quiet one at home.
Love to all

[BILLYJACK]

ADJUSTING??

Having a good time around other folks that are drinking and im not, is something that I MUST work on.. I try as much as I can to not be around these kind of folks when im AF.

My wives sister is an alcoholic and when the two of them get together and start drinking, my wifes sister ALWAYS starts feeling sorry for herself and her life and the TEARS just start FLYING. I told the dumb gal to get out of my house before because I was sick/tired of listening to the same ole BS from her tearful eyes after she is buzzed.

Than there is the drunk who had told you the samething about 20 times in the last 10 minutes.

I think I'll just STAY AWAY from these folks in the future as much as I can.

[bananas]

ADJUSTING??

I remember having such an awesome time with my friends just driving around or going out for coffee - that was when we were too young to drink (we were good girls - didn't start drinking until just before we were legal). I miss those times so much because I can't imagine doing something without alcohol and having a good time. I almost always see my friends in drinking situations too - some have drinking probs, others don't. It just makes me sad to remember how much fun we used to have w/o the alcohol, but we just don't do that anymore.

Nancy