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[Guest]

I dont get the emotional support I need from my man!!! What will I do??

[Guest]

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What you mean limers?........he doesn`t give you any support for trying to kick the booze?

[Guest]

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and the rest ...he thinks all my emotional shit is small time and it makes me think i am a drama queen or something !

[Guest]

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tonight i was in my moms and found photos of when i was super aneroxic and all he said was i was just like any teenager ...but i was sooo dieing at the time of aneroxia it makes me feel we are just so not on the same level at all! Im so upstet...I felt like i was realing shareing something with him ..

[Determinatrix]

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Is he discounting not only your emotions, but his as well?

[Guest]

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Well, put it this way..........supposing you didn`t have a man in your life? I am single, living with my teenage kid........there is no other adult here to support me, so whether you have a hubby who isn`t willing or able to raise your spirits during the rough times in life, or whether you live alone, you have to learn to be strong within yourself and grab support from wherever when it`s offered to you.

I get all the support I need right here.........would probably go completely loopy without being able to come here!!! lol

Whatever........we are always here to offer you whatever support you need at any time.

Can`t really comment on men........have low tolerance of their self-centred disposition these days. Sorry Boys.........do not mean you lot........just the ones in my particular history!!! lol

Starlight Impress x

[Guest]

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I have 4 kids ,2 too other dads and two to him and sometimes I feel I compromised ..he soo does not get my alcohol issues or any other issue that is close too my heart ..I feel I want him too GOOO!

[less desperate]

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limers;208686 wrote: tonight i was in my moms and found photos of when i was super aneroxic and all he said was i was just like any teenager ...but i was sooo dieing at the time of aneroxia it makes me feel we are just so not on the same level at all! Im so upstet...I felt like i was realing shareing something with him ..

I hate it when that happens! Can you rely on emotionally supporting yourself, instead of relying on him?

[Guest]

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Thanks Star ,I love you ! Ii have been following your progress through your threads and you are an inspiration.

[Guest]

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most of the time less desperate ,but it would be nice in the vunerable times that I share WITH HIM TOO BE NOT FELT LIKE AN EEGIT!!

[Guest]

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Well limers........you need to get him to listen, and I mean really listen. Get a babysitter........set aside some time for the two of you to be alone and lay your cards fair and square on the table.........you need to let him know exactly where all your unrest lies and ask him how he intends to help you make things better.

There`s really no point in dropping hints and having half-finished conversations......you need to clear the air and take it from there. 4 kids says you have rather a lot on your plate and he ought to willingly do his share.........if we`re daft enough to try to emulate Super Woman, many men would happily let us carry on.

Boy!!!!.......I really woulda fitted well had I been on this planet at the time of the Suffragette Movement!!! lol

Starlight Impress x

[YoungAtHeart]

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Some PEOPLE (both men and women) just can't be empathic, or are too afraid of feelings Limers. That is a statement about them, not about you. Rely on yourself and the folks you can REALLY count on. I'm sorry he's not one of them, but it sounds like you'll just keep being disappointed if you hope he will change. Sorry it's happening to you though.

[less desperate]

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limers;208698 wrote: most of the time less desperate ,but it would be nice in the vunerable times that I share WITH HIM TOO BE NOT FELT LIKE AN EEGIT!!

I think I know how you feel. It's like sometimes when I need my husband most he says the exact wrong thing...... or gives me his sad "you'll never shake this thing" face. I hate that face.
I wish I had the world's greatest advice for you, but I can only beg you: Don't cope by drinking, either at all or to excess, depending on what your goal is. It will back fire. You'll only feel worse about yourself.........at least, that has always been my pattern.

Is there something you can do right now that makes you feel good (other than drinking?)? Maybe just posting here will help.

[Guest]

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Thank you all so much for your valuable advice, its one step at a time I think and maybe I need too switch the head off more often and think less.!

[Cinders]

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Limers,

Kathy is right. Some people simply have a hard time with the emotions thing. Not just men, btw, I've known quite a few women who were like that.

It may well be he truly does understand but can't express it. His way of minimalizing your feelings is his way of saying "It's just not so bad, you will be okay."

Who knows? I don't know him, personally.

Sometimes my husband is the same way but then when the chips are really down, he has always been there for me. I guess we have to take the good with the bad. Unless the bad is so much, it is not worth it.

Anyway, rambling, but you do know we are all here and care.

Cindi