The flip side of alchoholism

[ECHOME'sWife]

I do not have a whole lot to say-he is here for him. My job is to take care of my children and make sure they are safe. I came on here to learn about alcholics; how they process information, how they deliver it to others, and to see whether or not my family's deep painful wounds can heal so that we can piece ourselves back together. My questions have been answered.

Goodby everyone

[Guest]

The flip side of alchoholism

I wish you and your family well.

Starlight Impress x

[Guest]

The flip side of alchoholism

I hope you all find peace. God bless you!

[slightlysuze]

The flip side of alchoholism

Wishing you all the best and hoping that things come right for all of you.


Suze x

[beatle]

The flip side of alchoholism

It seems like your husband is very motivated and sincere.

By the way, there is a forum for family members affected by drinking, that might be of help to you.

I hope the best for you all.

[beatle]

The flip side of alchoholism

p.s., I meant the forum is on this site (for family members)... you may have already found it.

[bloggy]

The flip side of alchoholism

I too wish you and your family all the best.

I don't think there is 'a way alcoholics process and deliver information'. We are just normal everyday people who have happpened to fall into the alcohol trap- for a million different reasons, but probably at the end of the day for the very same reason- it made us feel better at the time.

As you know as well as anyone here, this does not work for very long and sometimes has horrific outcomes as the drug overtakes the person turning us into something none of us would ever wish to be.

When we feel terrible after the binge, our subconcious mind sends a message- "Aah- do you feel bad? Have a drink! That has helped in the past!"

Our rational mind says: "No! Look where it got me the last time!"

Subconcious: "Yes, but that was because you had 12! This time you are only going to have one- two at the very most! C'mon you can't be feeling this crappy all day- you have jobs to do, a house to clean, c'mon just have one, it will bring you round!

And so on. The subconcious is a formidable opponent. Many non-drinkers have similar mind conversations, but for them the thing that makes them feel better is a cup of tea, a nice warm coffee, maybe even, god forbid, a cig!

They would also have a hard time forgoing the coffee of cigarette.

Anyway as I said I wish you the very best, but there is no pattern of alcoholics that can be found on a forum. There are as many different reasons and ways of thinking as there are drinkers. We can just find some solace in interacting by realizing we are not alone.

[wonderworld]

The flip side of alchoholism

Hey ECHOME's Wife-

Glad you posted here. We are all pulling for you and your family. Alcoholism is a nightmare for families (I know - I grew up with an active alcoholic parent).

I'm sure it has been suggested to you already, but you may really want to try Al-Anon meetings. It's the program for those with loved ones who are alcoholic (regardless of whether the loved one is currently drinking or not). People who have never been to Al-Anon sometimes think the program is going to be about either "bitching" about your spouse, or learning how to support him/her in their attempts to stay sober. But the truth is, it's a program for YOU, to help YOU heal and get the care and support of others who have been in your shoes. YOU deserve some hand-holding and a way out of the past too, no matter what ECHOME does. There must be alot of changes going on in your life and alot to deal with right now - the Al-Anon folks know all about it!

Wishing you the very best-

Beth :h

[beatle]

The flip side of alchoholism

Bravo Marbella. Well said, and completely true.

I'd just like to add, for ECHOME's wife, that everyone who comes on here does in fact have something in common, in that we all recognise this problem and want to beat it, most of us desperately-- some of us have succeeded already, and stay here to help keep sober and to help the others, while others are on their way, and many are just starting out. Your husband is one of us.

[Guest]

The flip side of alchoholism

Echo's wife, I can't add anymore than what has been said here. It struck me the way you ended your post with the word "Goodbye" it had such a finality to it. please check in and let us know how you are doing. We are a friendly and supporitive group and I'm sure if you were to meet anyone of of on the street, you would walk away thinking what a nice person. We are nice, we happened to but nice people with serious drinking problems. I hope for the sake of your family that your husband continues to seek help. I also hope that you would consider me and everyone else here, your friend.
Mary

[satori]

The flip side of alchoholism

Hi Echome's wife,

I would also like to add my best wishes for you and your family.

I believe that if echome has an honest desire to stop drinking - then this site, or rather the people on this site, will be able to help him achieve that.
It has worked for me after more than 20 years of uncontrolled drinking.

I also hope YOU will post here if you think we can be of any help to you or your family - in any way.
You will get nothing but honest advice and support from all of us here - at any time of day or night.

We can't change the past - but all of us here, are here because we do not want our futures to look like our past.


Love :l

Satori

xxx

[Niblet]

The flip side of alchoholism

Only the very best to you and your family.... May the sun shine on your face and a gentle breeze push you in the right direction...

[Accountable for Me]

The flip side of alchoholism

ECHOME'sWife;210357 wrote: I do not have a whole lot to say-he is here for him. My job is to take care of my children and make sure they are safe. I came on here to learn about alcholics; how they process information, how they deliver it to others, and to see whether or not my family's deep painful wounds can heal so that we can piece ourselves back together. My questions have been answered.

Goodby everyone

I am glad you posted. Not a lot of spouses in your shoes come to see what alcoholism can do to a family or a life of the alcoholic. I am not saying you don't know... because you definitely do, but you can see he isn't alone here.

It definitely can destroy everything good in one's life. Having said that, there is hope if the person in question (such as your husband) wants to get the help. We are not all bad people. We have done some stupid and hurtful things as a result but once sober we are very different people.

My heart goes out to you. I know you are feeling hurt and scared. What happened between he and you, from what we have read, was horrifying. I am thankful your children have you to take care of them, until he gets help and is sober.

There are always two sides to a story/situation and we want everyone involved to get control over this and to start healing. From the sounds of things, Echome is on the right path in becoming a better man. We support him in his recovery and we will support you with your pain and healing.

I hope this isn't good bye. I hope you become more involved if you choose to. Or even read and gain some knowledge here. Al-anon is also a good thing to check into as well. You are the victim of violence and alcohol abuse and you need tending to through this as well.

I wish you all the best. :l

[bootcampbarbie]

The flip side of alchoholism

i wish you well mrs echo. probably best that you take care of you and tend to your family. get some counseling and thanks for having checked in on us all. there are plenty of places for you and your family to go to and it starts with counseling. i wish you well. bootsie

[toughintexas]

The flip side of alchoholism

So glad you stopped by, I can only imagine the things you've been thru, I agree that right now, you have to take care of you, and your children....It'll be up to the 2 of you to see what the future holds,....I do know that miracles can happen, and I'll be praying for one for you and your family....Please know that we are a great group here, from all walks of life, in all stages of recovery, and we want to support anyone that visits here...we totally understand...Please take care, and know you are in our prayers...check in if you feel like it, this place has tons of resources for the families of alcoholics.....God Bless....