This puzzles me.....

[Bella]

Afternoon All. Just been thinking......as most of you know, I'm 7 mths pregnant. Back in Feb I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a night plus anything else I could get my hands on. Consequently,my life was difficult to manage; particuarly hiding all the bottles in clever little places, that wasn't easy! Alcohol was causing depression - so pills were taken daily. I was suicidal, often day-dreaming quick and easy ways of saying farewell to this mad world. Last New Years Day I was admitted to A and E for a drug over-dose. Not that much to laugh about a few months back! Then I fell pregnant and bang! I'm thrown into healthy living. I decided to stop drinking, just like that! Before, I could not stop drinking. I would not stop drinking. I needed to get drunk. Why is it that now I'm pregnant I can do this? Can anyone shed any light on this for me? Maybe I'm not an Alcoholic? Before this, I would have a drink and then be somehow unable to find the 'stop' button. I would drink until I could drink no more. Now, I have a small person growing inside me, I am quite capable of abstaining. I thought true alcoholics could not stop whatever situation they are thrown into
.
There was a thread here earlier about 'drinking' problems really being 'thinking' problems and that is dead right. My brain has a serious thinking problem at the moment.

Anyway, I'm concerned about drinking after the baby is born. I've got 8 wks to go and I'm already planning on a few to celebrate!

Thanks as always for listening.

Bella xxxxx

[bloggy]

This puzzles me.....

Aww Bella, Congratulations!

Alcoholism is extremely complex isn't it :-(

I think 95% of my drinking is a thinking problem. I have little if indeed any physical addiction to it, which my doctor who is also a psychiatrist agrees with.

When I decided it was not a good idea to eat red meat I gave it up the next day without ever having another thought, the same a few years later with poultry and fish.

I gave up a quite a strong caffeine/aspartame addiction, again overnight.

Cigs took me three years- alcohol- we are going into double figures, (years) and until now, only small baby steps in the right direction.

I do think if you have strong moral reasons as I did over the meat and caffeine/aspartame thing it makes it pretty easy.

I wish I could discover alcohol is tested on animals and I would probably be able to drop it like a hot brick.

What I mean with this, is hopefully the moral responsibility of having a brand new little person who is totally reliant on you for everything will take away your urge to drink, as obviously the responsibility of being pregnant has done?

I do hope so!

The best of luck to you.

[Guest]

This puzzles me.....

Glad you`re feeling so positive, Bella.
I think most of us quit drinking almost as soon as we find ourselves pregnant simply because we wouldn`t pour booze down the neck of a 5 yr. old, so we instantly appreciate that we have no right to pass alcohol over to a baby in the womb.......it`s instinctive in us as women and mothers........to nurture and protect.

I stayed sober for a whole 10 yrs., happily raising my child. Re-embraced the booze 5 yrs. ago though, so for me personally, all pregnancy and motherhood did for my alcohol dependency was put it on the back burner.........it stayed with me, simmering away during my sober years, until it boiled over and all but killed me as it sucked me in yet again.

You`ve done yourself proud, quitting all these months to protect your little boy........if I were you, I`d celebrate with Perrier. The cause for celebration is far more important than any actual celebration here..........the best Christmas ever with a newborn.

All my love to you and your family.

Starlight Impress x

[Niblet]

This puzzles me.....

Hello Bella Hon,
Mother Nature is an amazing thing isn't it ? We instinctively for the most part turn into a maturnal person when we are pregnant and lactating.. Will you breast feed little "button" ? May be a good idea if you feel up to it... All that colostrum and antibodies to start out a new life is always an awesome idea... Will keep you sober as well... Continue to analyze and understand and "feel" how good you feel now and continue this new way of being when little one is here.... This IS your chance... Don't miss this golden opportunity... You have been doubly blessed with a child and to not be an over drinker.... Congratulations to you in turning your life totally around !!! You are showing everyone including yourself that you will make an amazing Mom ... Being a "Mom" means first and formost the child... And that is just what you are doing now.. and will continue to do... All the best and thank you so much for posting to update us... PS... Is little "button" doing the cha-cha at night and keeping you awake.. to go pee and then go pee again and again.... I remember those days when your bladder becomes about the size of a walnut... Ha !! haaa !! Enjoy this blessed time, it is truely amazing... Hugs,

[Accountable for Me]

This puzzles me.....

Bella, when I was pregnant I had no desire at all to drink. Something snapped in my brain/body right away. I think it was not only maternal instinct that kept me away from the alcohol but the thought of harming the baby as well.

I am going to throw caution to the wind here. Once my youngest daughter was born 2.5 years ago and I had come home from the hospital I started to drink again. Once all was said and done with the pregnancy, the booze monster reared it's ugly head and almost just as bad as where I left off.

Having said that, be aware. If you were an 'alcoholic' before you became pregnant more than likely you still are. It is lying there dormant at the moment.

If you have no desire to drink once your little one arrives, then my hat goes off to you! I pray that will be the case. Just be cautious.

[memarcie]

This puzzles me.....

Bella, I'm glad to hear you are doing well. Only 8 weeks to go! Like AFM said you had a problem before and it is just dormant right now. I'd suggest don't even put yourself in that position. You've been AF for a long time now, why not keep it up after the munchkin is born. Don't put yourself in the path of the train wreck that alcohol can cause.

:l

[Phoenix74]

This puzzles me.....

Just another two cents' worth :-) sorrrrrrry!!!

Hi Bella,

"Conga rats", as Flip says, on your happy and healthy pregnancy :goodjob:

I just want to ask one question first --- how hard did you struggle to be AF or adopt controlled drinking BEFORE bubs came along?

Everyone here has had to struggle, and/or is currently struggling, with Al. Some of us people in this world just can't say "hello Al (aka booze beast), how are you? pleased to meet you, nice weather yeah and bye then, see you whenever or maybe never".

Instead, we're like: "c'mere to me Al you fine thing you, you're GORGEOUS!!!", or
"Hey Al let's be confidants, only you understand me" .......and the rest as they say, is history, a terrible love/hate relationship like the inextricably linked Rhett and Scarlett.

You have possibly the greatest motivation ever in that you have a tiny human being to whom you are going to always be the single most important person in the world.
You will also have spent 8 or 9 WHOLE MONTHS AF !!!! :goodjob: Sadly, plenty of mums-to-be continue to drink, smoke, use, while pregnant.

As Marbella, Starlight, Niblet, Accountable and memarcie have eloquently pointed out, [and they have a lot of time under the belt that I don't have (wisdom)], you have this golden opportunity; you have already begun, don't turn back girl! Keep going!

I also want to wish you a wonderful 8 weeks, a smashing little package delivery in time for Santa socks and red and white fluffy babygrows, Santa's Little Helper booties, bottles cute play toys cuddlies, baby powders, Johnson & Johnson lavender bath balm........ oh my it 'would put the going on' the rest of us





Lotsa luv and best wishes to you and bubs Attached files [img]/converted_files/349731=2181-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Bibby]

This puzzles me.....

hI

Can I just say that I totally understand what you say Bella. It doesn't make sense that you abuse alcohol before the pregnancy but you are already looking forward to "celebrating" after you give birth!

I had one baby, then twins. No problem for me to give up completely during the pregnancies but after the births - "BOOM", cravings and I gave in. I'm not saying this will be the case for you but like someone has already said, be careful! Just coz you've given up because of your pregnancy doesn't mean you are over the hill! I think you already know that and that's why you are worried.

I'm currently trying AF, it's hard but after 2 years of hard drinking following the twins birth I know it's the way i need to go. Moderation isn't for me.

Good luck with it all - birth, happiness and whatever is right for you.
Bibby

[beatle]

This puzzles me.....

Good going Bella!

I have to agree with everyone here... My pregnancies were alcohol-free and not hard for me to do that. But Wham, after, right back to the booze. Please take the great advice here and don't fall into the trap again.

lots of love

[ratana]

This puzzles me.....

I think there is a chemical reaction that happens when you are pregnant that makes the body reject the idea of alcohol. I know that fifteen years ago I was accidentally pregnant and knew I was going to terminate the pregnancy. Even after I had an appointment scheduled I had absolutely no desire to drink and did not touch a drop until the evening after I had had the procedure.

[nancy]

This puzzles me.....

I don't have experience with pregnancy...

But it does seem to me generally that the mental outlook has a big effect on cravings and ability to abstain. Your mental outlook is dominated by pregnancy and keeping this baby healthy. I think that although we say we do not have control we actually in fact to have a choice to drink or not, particularly that first one. Your experience during pregnancy isn't really much different from those who are AF and happily so.

Also, there is peer pressure during pregnancy not to drink, whereas the normal situation is pressure to drink. You would be hurting not only yourself but a child, with possibly lifetime consequences. faced with that, you can abstain.

I hope you give yourself the same respect after the pregnancy, meaning you value your own life as much as your baby's.

[bloggy]

This puzzles me.....

Funny, when I was in my mid 20s, in a steady but with rough moments relationship, and just realizing I had quite a serious drink problem, I stopped taking the birth control pill, I thought a baby would solve my problems! Luckily, that thought only lasted about three months, and I did not fall pregnant, although I really tried! I have never ever since had the desire to have a child, as my later train of thought was 'If I can't even look after myself..."

[hidden_gem]

This puzzles me.....

Hey girl, and congratulations.

Can I suggest that the main reason is one of self-worth? Think about it! One thing that all of us have in common here is that we don't love ourselves enough - hence the reason that we all pollute our bodies. Now that you have another human to worry about, you put that other human's welfare about your own - AS YOU DO ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE! - and therefore now you are able to abstain.

I have experienced a similar thing - in that when I thought I might be pregnant, I suddenly started caring about my body. Funny that I didn't care enough when it was just me. It took the idea of caring for someone else to make me be nice to my own body. And even now (yes, it turned out to be a false alarm), I STILL didn't learn! Well, maybe now I'm learning a little bit more.

Gem x

[bloggy]

This puzzles me.....

Hidden Gem- That is very thought provoking. Thank you- I think you have made a very important point there, and something a friend of mine mentioned once, but something I did not take much notice of as her situation was very different to mine.

I love my animals- of course I do- it is normal- I would not dream of giving something to them that I know will harm them!

I make an effort to make fresh juice etc for my BF as I know he wont make the effort himself :-))

Self- hatred obviously has a lot to do with this.

[pinkmilk]

This puzzles me.....

Hi there,
I came across one of your earlier posts tonight and was so worried and left you a long reply... and now I see that there was no need to worry! Great going girl! Glad to see things are going well for you :goodjob:
Like a few of the other mums have said though, staying sober through pregnancy seems doable, it's when the babes are here, that's another challenge yet again.... so do try and stay on top of it!
Personally, I didn't even have a drinking problem until I had my last little one. Then something happened. I was so dissapointed with him (don't ask! So stupid, as he is perfect! Healthy and gorgeous, just wasn't a girl!!!), I started to drink every night, which I had never done before. And it got progressively worse. Stupid stupid stupid....!!!
I am now about to start my second attempt at the MWO programme. Just getting myself together again. And hoping this time I will do it.
Good Luck to you! Let us know what is happening with you. I see you are in London too, it kind of makes me feel quite close to you, as most of the girls here are from the US
All the Best!!:h