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    My best friend turned her back on me

    Hey again,

    My best friend turned her back on me because of my drinking. She no longer talks to me so I'm just guessing that it's the drinking. I wrote her any e-mail a couple of weeks ago telling her how I've been feeling really depressed lately because the two of us haven't been getting along. She replied that she isn't the best person to help me. I tried to tell her I just want to talk (sober) about why I have been so distant from everyone.....not just her. I got no reply from my follow up e-mail and she dosen't pick up the phone or txt me back or even notice I'm in the same room.

    It hurts really bad.....I've always been able to talk to her when I feel like shit. I miss the two of us venting about life. Now she vents to other people about me. I fucked that friendship up and don't know how?????

    Buddha27

    #2
    My best friend turned her back on me

    Buddha,

    I am well versed in this area, I've alienated many people with my drinking in the past. Some people I lost completely some people have just distanced themselves from me.
    Give you and your friend some time to get aquainted with your sobriety. Maybe she feels that she has done all she can for you and it is now painful for her to watch you struggle. The important thing is that as you increase the amount of time you are sober, the more likely that relationship is to heal.

    Well wishes to ya

    -lorelei
    Suddenly I see
    This is what I want to be
    suddenly I see
    Why the hell it means so much to me.

    -KT Tunstall

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      #3
      My best friend turned her back on me

      It is sad to think about how much alcohol causes us to lose. Spouses, Friends, Children, jobs, lives, etc.

      Get sober and give her time to know the sober you. If she was that good of a friend she will welcome you back in her life.
      Marcie

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        #4
        My best friend turned her back on me

        I so agree with Marcie. Take this time to focus on yourself and become the best you can be. Then she will be proud to have a friend such as you.

        Dx
        * * I love Determinator * *

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          #5
          My best friend turned her back on me

          I can't add much more than what has been said here. Alcohol robs one of many things. Give it some time. She is probably feeling helpless. If one doesn't really understand what alcoholism REALLY is they probably can't see past the hurt they are feeling.

          Like Marcie said, if she is really a good friend, she will come back into your life.

          "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." This can be applied to everyone we love.

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            #6
            My best friend turned her back on me

            sometimes people need space. work on yourself for now. you need to heal first.
            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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              #7
              My best friend turned her back on me

              Hey, I to had what I thought was a best friend in my life until I started to think differently about things then she did. I truly beleive that after you take a couple of weeks you will start to see that maybe this friendship was not the best thing for you. I know this sounds harsh right now, but the pattern of you drinking and you venting to her has to stop and of course her venting about her stuff to. You may even notice that the friendship had you stressed at times and that was a trigger for you to drink.

              Change is good!!
              Hope you fell better
              Sammys

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                #8
                My best friend turned her back on me

                hey girl. the same thing happened with me. the girl i was best friends with, and loved so much, left me because of my boyfriend, and my drinking. she didnt like the w ay my bf treated me, and i couldnt see her as often because of him. its changed now, hes improved on letting me see my friends when i want to. but the dirnking was the other thing. i tried, and i poured my heart out. a couple months went by , and i tried again. she deleted my long email to her about how i cared. i listend to her about her problems. thats all she would talk about, was her problems. and i was always there. and she deleted my email ( didnt read it-checked aol "status".. it hurt so bad.. i cried over it a few months ago, and then when she deleted my email the other day, i cried and hurt again. its horrible... i even said in the email how ive been doing better and taking supplements, but she deleted it, so she didnt even read it. its very sad and depressing. email so we can talk more.. someone else who understsands..

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                  #9
                  My best friend turned her back on me

                  She is like a sister

                  Hey Sammys,

                  I could do that with every other friend but her. She is like a sister to me. It's not all venting.....we think a like. We talked about everything, good or bad. I afraid she wont be around when I do get better:upset: I want her to be proud of me when I start/finish this program.

                  Buddha27

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                    #10
                    My best friend turned her back on me

                    Can you maybe tell us what happened then? This way we may be able to offer something more than grasping at straws and generalizing?

                    There are soooo many people here who have suffered some sort of consequence from their drinking. Someone might be able to help you put things into perspective from their own experience.

                    Just a thought.

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                      #11
                      My best friend turned her back on me

                      Buddha, like it's been said before just give her some time and space. Keep reaching out and eventually she will come back around. If you travel in the same social circles she will see you out and see how you have changed and start believing in you. If she truly was like a sister she will not leave you forever, that type of friendship comes along rarely in life.

                      Wishing you peace and happiness.
                      "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                        #12
                        My best friend turned her back on me

                        you need to heal first. work on being healthy take your supplements. exercise even if it's only a little. talk to us explain what really happened. and then let it go. once you stop worrying you'll be able to feel stronger and maybe with time, if you and your friend are really meant to be friends, she will come back to you.
                        You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

                        Comment


                          #13
                          My best friend turned her back on me

                          I'm writing this through tears-- as I have experienced the same thing. My best friend no longer wants to talk to me. The truth was too much. In a way, though, I am bitter that she couldn't take it. I am me, with a problem, but I am me.
                          Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                          Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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