melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

[hippie37]

I've found myself today in rather a melancholic mood. I have no desire to drink at all but seem determined to heighten this mood with listening to The Cocteau Twins. It would be easy enough you would think to 'snap out of it' by doing something positive etc. (or simply turn the damn music off!!). I have 6 fence panels to treat before the hard winter weather consumes us, I have a ton of e-mails to respond to as well and a birthday party to arrange and presents to buy for my daughters up and coming 3rd birthday; so, lots to keep me busy (you would think). But I have this 'need' to feed the melancholy! I'm in no way procrastinating here In any shape or form, I HAVE to feed it. I find it very different than Alcohol addiction but very similar in a very strange paradoxical way which is how I would describe most of my melancholic moods at times. Many great artists and musicians have been inspired by their own melancholy to produce some very deep and meaningful pieces of work. You only have to read Trixie's thread to appreciate the effect this mood has on a lot of us artistic types. It has also been very much misdiagnosed by doctors as depression and then the inappropriate drugs were prescribed to no avail. The very real need to heighten this state at times for me does seem to bring about inspiration in some shape of form. I would be really interested to hear others personal views on this matter particularly those who are inspired creatively and how you harness your own 'state' to your advantage.

Love and Melancholy
Hippie
xx

[Guest]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

I think life is similar to playing snakes and ladders........every so often you land on a big fat f***** of a snake and suffer the inevitable slump. As for how to manage the melancholy?........well, you got me there.......think we have to find our own personal outlets, only so many of us are so caught up in the rat-race that we`ve never allowed ourselves to become lost in the things about which we are truly passionate.

A mega melancholy Starlight Impress x

[wonderworld]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

There's nothing wrong with feeling it hippie, or "feeding" it in order to feel it even more. That can be a way of getting through it. Don't be afraid of it. And don't judge yourself about it. It's okay. and music is healing. As long as you don't find youself getting paralyzed. "Play through the pain" is one of my mottos, which to me means, no feeling (good or bad) is a threat as long as I'm not abandoning my basic needs or taking risks by 'acting out' because of it. There was a time when I could not work in my studio unless I was in the "perfect" emotional state. Now I can show up there pretty much no matter what. Except if I drink.

Could it be that the onset of winter and your daughter's birthday are bringing it on?

luv,
sensitive artistic melancholic wonder xx

[beatle]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

I used to not be able to cry. It was all bottled up in me and I WANTED to cry, I WANTED to feel miserable. Or, more like, feel my misery. I discovered alcohol, and finally I could "let loose" on all those emotions.

I think there is something in us that sometimes wants to wallow in our own misery. It can feel good to crawl insided yourself and just feel the melancholy. Now I am learning how to do that naturally, without the help of my old friend and new enemy, the A-word.

It's like I'm having to start anew on my emotional development. But Hippie, I can relate to what you are saying and I think it's a good thing to be able to just sit back and let the melancholy roll... sober, of course.

[beatle]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

ps. as to the creativity question, yeh, I used to think I was oh so much more creative while under the influence... it got to where my studio was basically my drinking hideout, not much more. I think alcohol does help some people "harness" their creativity, so long as it doesn't become the goal instead of the means. For an alcoholic, booze will become the goal, and to hell with everything else. That's what happened to me, anyway, although I will admit that at first it was helpful.

[trixietrack]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

melancholy has gotten a bad name in the last several decades, and also in western society.
sometimes one needs to be still and have something to contemplate on, this is the food for creativity, you might feel like you are not taking care of your daily tasks and ignoring reality.

As long as you are lucid (not under the influence of toxins) you gain so much by taking that time out. this is a great time for meditating. your mind is still active it just needs to take a break from external stimuli.
I am actually feeling the same way. didn't come to work yesterday and spent it on my BF's boat watching the water. most people would say, you didn't do a thing yesterday.
I did, I had so many beautiful thoughts.
the Cocteau Twins are great for these melancholic times

Trix

[trixietrack]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

interesting tkeene

[Cinders]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

I am actually jealous of all of you!! I do get melancholy but it NEVER leads me to a path of any kind of creativity or art.

I am a math/computer science nerd. Not one creative bone in my body. (Well maybe one but my husband has to decorate the house...)

I hate being this way but then again I figure I am one of those who can sit back, relax and enjoy the art of everyone else. (And I do enjoy music, art, sculpturing, writing.) I just can't do any of those myself.

There has to be people like us around to enjoy what you guys do.

Cindi

ps The unfortunate piece of this is that when I am melancholy, I am just flat out melancholy, no outlet for it....

[Cinders]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

sculpting (I am also a grammer dweeb)

[Cashregister]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

I think if it's not clinical depression - wallow in it. Have a bath. light some candles, turn the lights out. All emotions are important and we need to work with them sometimes.

Cheers

cash

[Cashregister]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

Oh and DB - I quote:

"I am a math/computer science nerd. Not one creative bone in my body. (Well maybe one but my husband has to decorate the house...)"

My hubby is a nerd too - he's incredibly creative - look at all the people who worked on Linux, computer games, or just good old programming (that's playing with language for goodness sake - should be called 'authoring'!!)

never say a scientist or maths or computer nerd is not creative - I mean some say God is a mathematician!!

cashy

[pinkmilk]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

i am so sad tonight. I'm sorry to interrupt this thread, can't work out how this site works..
but I am sitting here finishing some red wine, which I don' even like and remembering how good life used to be when I was just living in the now. And never ever wasted a moment thinking about alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thinking long ago, but the time this stupid drinking alcohol thing became a problem is only about four years ago. In fact it's the 24th of november, so the 4th anniversary is coming up. It's so stupid, but with the birth of my third child, perfect and healthy in every way, a wonderful home birth too, but me being so stupidly depressed about him being a boy and not a girl, started drinking wine the moment he was born. And I haven't really stopped since.
Alcohol has never been a problem for me before this.
And I just keep remembering now the times.... all my life really, when I was happy to have a glass of something and then to to bed or go chat for hours or whatever.... and not ever think of needing another drink. This could not happen now! I can't go anywhere without wondering if there will be wine/champagne......
And it's so sad. I used to just be, now I am in control of this THING, that is bigger than me and I can't get it out of my head and even when I did do well for half a year controling it, it will never be like it was in those innocent days of just not thinking about a DRINK.
It's so sad, my life will never be this easy again. I will always have this albatross hanging over me.
Maybe quitting alcohol altogether would be the best option for me. But I am too scared to even contemplate that.
Better go to bed. Sorry for rambling on..

[Bella]

melancholy (and the infinite sadness)

Hi hippie, I actually love the word melancholy. There is something romantic and far-away about the word. Its much nicer than sad, depressed, dejected etc..which mean the same thing. If I ever feel melancholy or heavy-hearted I tend to wallow in it, feed on it. I don't think that is un-healthy really. It is a strong emotion and should not be ignored. Just like happiness is there to be relished, so too should the opposite be acknowledged. Being in this state tends to make me want to do nothing. I think alot...too much and I am great at annalizing everything. I have to annalize to make sense. So just let this feeling run its course...that is what I do. Its one of our many emotions. I have always been brought up to hide my emotions and that is so bad. I often feel melancholy. I use it to reflect on things. If I painted a picture depicting this state of mind, it would have thick black paint with lots of marks scratching through the paper. Or it might be watered down in its attack- an almost despairing nothingness kind of quality. --who knows and what sh** I'm probably talking!!!! What a great post though. Its made me think deeper than I normally would on a Sunday morning.
Anyway, I hope youre feeling good now and this feeling has passed.

All the best to you. Bella xxxx