I have decided it`s time to give some sort of explanation as to why I`m more or less lurking for the time-being. Not that I believe explanations are expected here.......we understand each other and thus have no great expectations of each other. I have already posted in Subscribers, but there are so many more of you here who mean so much to me, that I feel I want to explain where I`m at. So many of you have been instrumental in my becoming sober.........I could always count on you.......and did.
I think I shocked myself by actually managing to quit drinking and subsequently experienced a natural high........I was ecstatic to realize that I no longer had to accelerate the rudiments of my day to reach the evenings which I devoted to myself and the serious "art" of drinking. Drinking will always remain an option, simply because drink exists. However, drinking is no longer what I choose to do........I`m probably as safe from drink as any of us can be.........I was only ever psychologically dependent on it (albeit for years) and I am no longer a victim of that dependency.
I have talked before about my belief that to fully recover from alcohol dependency, one must strive to become well in mind, body and spirit. My current malaise occurred as a result of never venturing beyond just such talk. I had remained caught up in the moment........I never managed to move beyond the feelings of joy at becoming AF. I now fully appreciate, that for me anyway, becoming sober has merely been the tip of the ice berg. I successfully swam against the frenzied current that was my dependency and now I have come to realize that I must ride the waves.
I truly believe that I have suffered some sort of nervous breakdown........I am somewhat loathe to use that term, as feel it is perhaps rather outdated, but I know what I mean by that, and can only hope that as so many of you are of a similar age to myself or older, that you will understand my current state of mind.
I sought the help of my G.P. yesterday and was prescribed citalopram and referred for counseling..........as many of you will know, I am personally an anti meds girl, but have finally decided to embrace the help I so obviously need........I guess I am only now beginning to truly understand the "whatever it takes" philosophy.
I have gone back to basics and am now working on my survival tactics........I need to learn how to eat properly, sleep peacefully and exercise gradually. I suddenly feel compelled to live a very simple life and plan to explore buddhism to discover an inner calm. To be perfectly honest, I feel I am over my dependency, but that I now have to address all the causes of my becoming dependent in the first place.I will only ever become truly well through identifying and treating those causes.
My love of pretty things has gone right out the window.......my current psychological state has taught me just how superfluous material things are. Today, my ultimate goals in life are to be well and to be happy, by whichever means it takes, nomatter how long it takes.
All my love,
Starlight Impress x
I think I shocked myself by actually managing to quit drinking and subsequently experienced a natural high........I was ecstatic to realize that I no longer had to accelerate the rudiments of my day to reach the evenings which I devoted to myself and the serious "art" of drinking. Drinking will always remain an option, simply because drink exists. However, drinking is no longer what I choose to do........I`m probably as safe from drink as any of us can be.........I was only ever psychologically dependent on it (albeit for years) and I am no longer a victim of that dependency.
I have talked before about my belief that to fully recover from alcohol dependency, one must strive to become well in mind, body and spirit. My current malaise occurred as a result of never venturing beyond just such talk. I had remained caught up in the moment........I never managed to move beyond the feelings of joy at becoming AF. I now fully appreciate, that for me anyway, becoming sober has merely been the tip of the ice berg. I successfully swam against the frenzied current that was my dependency and now I have come to realize that I must ride the waves.
I truly believe that I have suffered some sort of nervous breakdown........I am somewhat loathe to use that term, as feel it is perhaps rather outdated, but I know what I mean by that, and can only hope that as so many of you are of a similar age to myself or older, that you will understand my current state of mind.
I sought the help of my G.P. yesterday and was prescribed citalopram and referred for counseling..........as many of you will know, I am personally an anti meds girl, but have finally decided to embrace the help I so obviously need........I guess I am only now beginning to truly understand the "whatever it takes" philosophy.
I have gone back to basics and am now working on my survival tactics........I need to learn how to eat properly, sleep peacefully and exercise gradually. I suddenly feel compelled to live a very simple life and plan to explore buddhism to discover an inner calm. To be perfectly honest, I feel I am over my dependency, but that I now have to address all the causes of my becoming dependent in the first place.I will only ever become truly well through identifying and treating those causes.
My love of pretty things has gone right out the window.......my current psychological state has taught me just how superfluous material things are. Today, my ultimate goals in life are to be well and to be happy, by whichever means it takes, nomatter how long it takes.
All my love,
Starlight Impress x
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