Need to vent off!

[Bella]

I am so sick and tired of being so bloody GOOD all the time as far as drinking goes! I'm sorry. I went to the supermarket today and walked down the alcohol aisle. I am cooking a chicken dish tonight and it needs dry white wine. I thought about leaving this out of the recipe and then I thought better! I havent walked down this aisle for months and I almost felt guilty, especially as I am so obviously pregnant now. I bought the smallest bottle of wine there was. I had an immensely strong urge to buy 2 bottles of lovely dry white and drink them both quietly on my own! Im so bored of my virtuous, clean living. I want to be bad for a change. Its really stupid. This feeling will pass but it never goes away. I have and have always had a need to go against the grain. If I am told to do one thing, I want and do the other. It was such a novelty to NOT drink ..now I want to forget everything and just drink for a change. I know I wont because I don't want a drunk baby but its hard. A constant battle. I'm sorry to say all this. I am usually so calm and today I'm not. Thanks for listening to my drivel. Bella xxxx

[Preciouspinot]

Need to vent off!

Hang in there Bella! It is all worth it in the end and just think about your beautiful baby. It will pass, it will pass, it will pass. I promice I promice I promice! Been there before myself so, I know!

[lushy]

Need to vent off!

I know how you feel Bella. I went through the same thing in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. No wise words for you, just to say I understand how you are feeling.......

[trixietrack]

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Hi Bella I get where you are coming from. The rebel in your blood. The inner wild woman wanting to be free.
The wine gives the inner rebel/wild woman a false sense of empowerment. (self destructive)
she/you needs to find that 'I want to be bad desire' fulfilled in some meaningful way. (constructive). Flip rides a motorcycle to fulfill her wild side, some people express it creatively, that's how I express that desire.
I understand you are going through a hard time and are feeling neglected, that could make that 'bad desire' stronger. hang in there.
thinking about being bad is not necessarily terrible, acting on it is another thing.

be well take care of you the good you and the wild you and also your baby

hugs
trix

[MyOwnWoman]

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Good for you that you didn't go for the two bottles of wine.
Take care.

[Guest]

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I understand how you`re feeling, Bella, because although many of us hope to remain AF, we still retain the choice of picking up a drink or not, whereas you do not have that choice due to looking out for Baby. I know you must feel terribly frustrated, but just think how blessed you are to be having a new wee baby boy.

I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again.......you`re going to have the best Christmas ever when your new wee son joins the family............a stupid drink is NOTHING........a baby is EVERYTHING.

And, although many of us have advised you to steer clear of the alcohol after the birth, you still can look forward to "wetting the baby`s head". It`s not a case of you never being able to drink again........it`s only `til the birth.

You`re a great mum........you`ve done fabulously.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[beatle]

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You have got great advice here. However, that said, I will dare to say that if you feel you could manage with one glass of wine, you will not do your baby harm. Just be sure you remember that you cannot go beyond that. You could harm another person for the rest of their life. My doctors told me a glass of wine once in a while will not hurt the fetus... but you must be sure you can stop. I did it once in a while. I'm not proud, but I know that because of the little ones, I could stop after one. I just simply had to. Now MY life, that is another story...

[Beaches]

Need to vent off!

Bella I remember those feelings too when I was pregnant. I felt trapped and contained. How stupid is that?? I never understood why I was so resentful of being pregnant. I love my kids to pieces just never cared for the pregnancies. It will be over soon. Deep breaths! Hugs

[Guest]

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Bella honey, last week you were in a very content place with the pregnancy and controlling your drinking. Something happen other than just the need to rebel? I am the queen of rebellion, if you tell me not to do something , be damn sure that is what I am going to do.
Take care of Bella and Baby
Hugs
Mar

[hippie37]

Need to vent off!

I think this happens to a lot of people when the initial 'honeymoon period' is over. It's knowing how to change our lifestyles without loosing any of the essence of our true selves.

You are talking to a master of rebellion having been a part of the New-Age travelling movement/free festival scene myself. I'd rebel against anything I could. I've been on countless demonstrations, hunt sabs, anti government campaigns, legalise cannabis campaigns etc. I've squatted in various places in London, been homeless and generally stuck two fingers up at this government for the past 20 years. One of the many good things I've found in becoming sober was the fact that I've learned to let go of all that bitterness and anger and frustration that I had inside and be more positive in my approach to issues I still believe strongly in. I haven't lost one iota of that rebellion side in me but I have learned where to channel my energies into rather than rebelling for the sake of rebelling. I'm a totally different person now I'm sober but my ideals haven't changed at all.

You can still harness that rebellious side of you Bella in many ways other than drinking, as trixie mentioned in her post; and I couldn't agree more with what she had to say.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
p.s. Thanks for your last PM I'll reply towards the end of the week as pretty hectic at the moment with one thing after another! I think I need a holiday!!!!!

Any offers of bed and board for a long week-end somewhere in the country please PM me!!!!

[Guest]

Need to vent off!

Oh-oh!!! Be very careful hip.........you may get what you wish for!!!:H

Starlight Impress x

[Finding My Self]

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Bella - hey, sounds to me as if you sort of did rebel in the supermarket.... did you get the wine for the dish then?....good on you...and good on you for NOT getting the two bottles 'for you'...

Feeling you 'can't' drink < wanting to bl**dy well drink < making your own decision that, yes, you could drink although you really shouldn't, but actually you choose not to thank you very much.... (sniff, nose snootily in the air) rebelling big time at all the 'should's jumping out at you.

Rebel away! Choose to be bad but THEN choose to walk away from being 'bad'....!! Double rebellion! Woooo!!

I hope Bump is doing well and Mum too!

Love FMS xxx

[Newyear]

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Hi Bella,
I've never been pregnant but I can certainly relate to the rebellion feeling. I love FMF's idea of the double rebellion. It is incredible how strong willed we can be - if we can just turn it towards doing what is good for us that would be great.
I remember absolutely cringing when I heard people say - "well, everything in moderation..." I would think 'forget that! I want it all!!"
I think as long as I know what I am doing is my idea and what I want ...then I can deal with it. When I feel dictated to, well, the need to rebel comes out again.
I'm glad you were able to work thru it today.
You are in control and you get to make all the decisions.

Love and congrats again on the baby
Lisa

[MDBiker]

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I know I am not a mother (in this respect) but I think one thing that happens when a woman is pregnant is that everything is about the baby. What you do, where you go, what you eat, what you drink, how much you sleep, exercise, . . . everything. Not that it is a bad thing, because it is an instinct which will give the baby the best of all chances, and it makes the mother healthy and beautiful too. I think if you will take time and look at how your life is, not counting the baby, you will see that you are doing a wonderful thing for both of you. And too, when the baby is born if you want to you can drink; but you may find the desire was more in your head than in heart.

I think a woman is most beautiful when she is pregnant; even though most women feel huge and ugly. I also think the wide swings of moods is worth the result. Hang on, it will be over before you know it and new problems will come to take old problems place.

God Bless
bear

[fammy]

Need to vent off!

all the alcohol will be cooked out and u will be left with the flavor, but no alcohol. feels damn good to vent sometimes too!!!