Greetings All! I lurk but don't pipe in, at least not yet. I wanted to share a portion of my experience in the hopes that it is encouraging to some. I am nearly 4.5 months AF and have just really started to feel "FREE". The first three months were a struggle (mentally). I can't believe I am writing this, but I don't even think about buying my beer on the way home from work anymore. My usual routine for many years (16) was to start drinking after work each evening and basically drink myself into oblivion until I went to bed - or passed out. I did not have a physical withdrawal but I sure counted on my evening excessive drinking to numb my pain, frustration, stress or depression. I am now learning how to process feelings for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 46. This way is better and I, again, am astonished that I am actually saying this and it is true: I have lost my desire to dull and numb myself with alcohol.
Choosing life is the only option.
Alcohol is not my friend, it never was. In recent years it made me act very inappropriately and I did finally find myself in trouble with the law (DUI). I'm a three time divorcee' and alcohol wreaked very serious havoc with the relationships I have with my children. My mothering ability was way less than acceptable while an active alcoholic. I was emotionally absent and I can't even begin to tell you how destructive the broken promises prove to be. Almost all reading this can relate I know.
My point being. . . . . . . it gets better - I can even say it gets wonderful. But it takes a little time. For me, I just started feeling really positive and hopeful in the past 2 - 3 weeks. I now see the light at the end of the tunnel. For some of us, who abused alcohol for many years, there is a lot to process and, unfortunately, a lot of horrific events and actions that accompanied our years of active drinking. I've been looking at those times and find myself cringing and feeling much embarrasment and shame. For me, I believe it's important to really look at the reality of my actions and take responsibility for the consequences. I guess there has been purpose in looking at the ugly facts.
I have decided not to camp there though. I have decided to move forward and continue on the path I'm on. Making positive changes one day at a time. Inch by precious inch.
Choosing life is the only option.
Alcohol is not my friend, it never was. In recent years it made me act very inappropriately and I did finally find myself in trouble with the law (DUI). I'm a three time divorcee' and alcohol wreaked very serious havoc with the relationships I have with my children. My mothering ability was way less than acceptable while an active alcoholic. I was emotionally absent and I can't even begin to tell you how destructive the broken promises prove to be. Almost all reading this can relate I know.
My point being. . . . . . . it gets better - I can even say it gets wonderful. But it takes a little time. For me, I just started feeling really positive and hopeful in the past 2 - 3 weeks. I now see the light at the end of the tunnel. For some of us, who abused alcohol for many years, there is a lot to process and, unfortunately, a lot of horrific events and actions that accompanied our years of active drinking. I've been looking at those times and find myself cringing and feeling much embarrasment and shame. For me, I believe it's important to really look at the reality of my actions and take responsibility for the consequences. I guess there has been purpose in looking at the ugly facts.
I have decided not to camp there though. I have decided to move forward and continue on the path I'm on. Making positive changes one day at a time. Inch by precious inch.
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