I'm very nervous...

[Cheebs]

I have to stop this horrible cycle I have gotten myself into. I think I am fooling everyone but, I am beginning to realize that I am the being fooled. I am a professional with an excellent job. Great husband, great kids (older and out of the house). Drinking started 30 yrs ago. How do you go about changing what seems to be an essential for your lifestyle? How do you one day quit drinking when you are the Queen of parties? All the summer paties, all the holiday parties, all the friends, all the family. How do you completely change your life? I have to but, I don't know how. I have ordered the book and the vitamins and the cd. I have a doctors appointment on the 5th. I cannot understand how I am going to do this. I have broken so many promises before. Especially to my husband. I cannot watch the hurt on his face. Sorry to babble on and on....:new:

[Accountable for Me]

I'm very nervous...

:welcome: Cheebs!

Unfortunately when one quits alcohol their whole life changes. At least for the first while. It is still possible to have fun at parties being sober. Many people don't think so early on, but down the road you would be surprised.

Another thing is you have to this for yourself. When we quit for other people, such as our husbands, etc... it typically doesn't work.

Why don't you try 30 days AF as suggested in the book and then go from there. If you look at it as "I cannot drink for the rest of my life" it places too much pressure on oneself. Try it in stages.

All the best!

[Pennywise]

I'm very nervous...

Hey Cheebs,

I hope you're ok. Look I'll be straight, Im no way medically minded nor am I experienced in this field. That said Ive just started with this attempt to re address my alcohol intake too, and what Ive found with the help on these message boards and the suppliments Im very positive I can control this.

Ive gone for the L-Glut, Kudzu, Amino Acid, Calms tabs and Sleeping pills combo, it works, it really does, the cravings are, to an extent numbed. For me, and Im not saying this is for or not for you, but for me its all about just controlling the craving and being able to control it other than it controlling me.

I wont say I'll never stop drinking, but its the wasted beers I drink with my other half whilst watching the TV in the evening. She doesnt drink other than when we occasionally go out, which is exactly where I want to be.

But hey, chin up, give it a try, it does help.

[wonderworld]

I'm very nervous...

hi Cheebs-

I think when you read the book, your mind may be put at ease, at least somewhat. Don't panic! Between the book, the MWO program laid out in it, and this site, you will have a very complete way to start dealing with the "alcohol issue". And you will find what works for YOU. There are so many wise and loving and supportive people on this site, in all different phases of the journey. Some people learn to moderate their drinking, some quit alcohol all together.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try not to worry too much about the future. The answers will come. Read and post here often, and talk about what's happening. You are SO not alone! We're all here for the same reason......
luv, Wonder

[Cheebs]

I'm very nervous...

Thanks so much for the replies. It makes me feel really good knowing I am not alone. I do want to do this for me. I realize that if I tried to do it for someone else, it would not work. Thanks again for your time. I will keep posting.

[shelbysmiles]

I'm very nervous...

Welcome Cheebs! I agree 100% with what everyone has said. You can not think about how you will tackle those parties right now. I have no idea if I will drink Thanksgiving, Valentines day or 4th of July next year. All I have control over is that I do not drink today. It is great to have goals and a plan. But, try not to get too overwhemed thinking about the future!

Olivia

[rgb75]

I'm very nervous...

CHEEBS AND EVERYONE ELSE I AM JUST COMING ON BOARD. I LOVE ALL OF THE GREAT SUPPORT I AM READING. I AM SCARED TO DEATH ALSO. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL EVER HAVE FUN AGAIN WIHTOUT DRINKING. I ORDERED THE BOOK AND READY TO GET STARTED. I TURNED 50 THIS YEAR. SO IT IS TIME I GOT SERIOUS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE BUT I ALWAYS CHOOSE DRINKING INSTEAD. I FEEL SO ALONE. MY HUSBAND IS MY DRINKING BUDDIE. WE'VE BEEN PARTYING FOR SO LONG. I DON'T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO FIND OUT. I KNOW THEY WILL JUDGE ME. ANY POSITIVE SUPPORT WILL BE WELCOMED

[lupine]

I'm very nervous...

Cheebs and rgb75,

I too am scared of what my life will be without drinking but if I keep on going the way I have been my life will be shortened significantly. Today is day 5 AF for me and it’s been going ok but I keep thinking into the future, what about this weekend, what about Thanksgiving and it just stresses me out. I need to take the advice of the board and just worry about today and not tomorrow until it gets here. I read the book and I’m taking the supplements which I believe are how I made it to day 5. Good luck to you both

Lupine

[rgb75]

I'm very nervous...

cheebs
i am worred about the weekend also. its weird, because i feel so sad like i have lost a friend or something. but i have to do something about it. my daughter is very upset with me right now. and i am feeling like a lousy mother. it not fair for her to have to go through this. to think of the holidays makes me very sad right now. can i make it without my beer wine or bourbon .

[satori]

I'm very nervous...

Cheebs and rgb75

You are at a scary place right now - you are staring at a life without alcohol after it has been a "friend" and part of your life for so long.
It is understandable that you feel a sense of impending loss.

BUT (and it is a big BUT).

I was at exactly the same place - a 20 plus history of uncontrolled drinking.
High functioning - but no-one outside my immediate family knew the "real" me.

The real me was totally controlled by alcohol - always planning my next drink, hiding how much I was really drinking from everyone - even my family, smuggling extra drink into the house, staying up later than everyone else to continue drinking and then feeling like crap every morning, guilty, underperforming at work, etc etc etc - some "friend" alcohol is!
The problem is - it fools you into thinking it is necessary for a "fun" life!

I too was terrified at what life would be like without alcohol I felt there would be no "fun" any more.

Well - long story short - after moderating for a few months - just over 100 days ago I finally quit alcohol totally.

Here is a news report from Alcohol Free land.

It is GREAT - much, much, much better than life WITH alcohol.
I am in control of my life again - I can drive anytime I like, I sleep better, look better (believe me - I NEEDED that! :H ), I have more money in the bank, I am not continually planning drinking / hating myself for drinking etc etc.
No more lying to loved ones, work is enjoyable again, I am spending more time really being "there" for my kids (they always "interfered" with drinking before!!). No more hangovers, no more worrying about the damage I was doing to myself - the list goes on and on.

I now go into the bar just the same as I ever did with my friends after the gym or whatever - the ONLY difference is - I drink non alcoholic drinks
I still go out for meals with friends - I just drink soft drinks instead of wine
I went out with friends to see a favourite band a few night ago.
I saw the band just as usual - they were just as great without a beer in my hand! - no biggie!

Life is actually MORE fun now than it ever was when I was drinking .

Go for it. We can help you get there!

You will NOT regret it.


Best of luck

Satori
xxx

[Cheebs]

I'm very nervous...

WOW! Ever post is inspiring and I am sitting here crying! I have never been one for interacting on line but, this is something incredibly different and much more emotional than I ever thought. Thank you so much for the support.rgb75 and lupine I am going to hang in and I hope you hang in with me. Lupine congrats on day 5. I have day 1AF* and working on day two. Haven't got the books or supplements yet but, I am looking forward to see how I react to them.
What a difference a day makes!
Have a terrific day everyone!

[Doggygirl]

I'm very nervous...

Hi Cheebs! I too hail from the Chicago area, and share lots in common with what you wrote. Welcome also to rgb75 and to lupine.

I think you will really like the supplements and CD's. After a gazillion years of daily drinking (well, not many days of NOT drinking in about 30 years) I went 60 days alcohol free starting July 11 2007. I made a HUGE mistake thinking I could then drink moderately. Some people can, I found that I cannot. It took me awhile, but I'm back here on Day 2 Alcohol Free, round 2.

I experienced so many of the very positive things Satori and others described during my 60 days of sobriety. I felt like I got my life back. I enjoyed going wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I enjoyed freedom from guilt. Not just guilt from drinking in and of it self, but also guilt from thinking I said or did or forgot things BECAUSE I was drinking. LOL - During that 60 days I could speak my mind and be forgetful and it was OK!

But the addiction is strong - at least for me it's strong. I guess if I could take or leave alcohol easily, I wouldn't be here. The icky, lonely, guilt laden life of booze sucked me right back in for almost 60 days. I like NOT drinking a whole lot. While it won't always be easy to get there, I'm determined. WE CAN DO THIS.

Just want to encourage you to give the program a try because it can work if you really want to quit. There are successful moderators here too. I wish I could be one - but of course it's a real possibility for some!

Welcome and best wishes
DG
Day 2 AF after the fall

[Cheebs]

I'm very nervous...

I want to be in your place

Hi Doggygirl-
Thanks so much for the unbelievable encouragement. I received my supplements today and so since last week, my excuse for not truly committing was that I was waiting for the vitamins. However, I had a very interesting Saturday night.
I was not drinking. My house is the usual weekend card game or community dinner with coctails. Again, I chose not to drink, for a while. My husband was supporting me. My friends( I know a lot of people think that they are not your friends if they encourage you to drink but, one must realize who conditioned them to think that way) were curious why I was not drinking. I said that I had come close to getting in trouble with it and had to back off. Long story short, within an hour, they were telling me that, althoug they resepected me for trying to be good, it is not the same without me with them. Ultimately, I caved and drank. I thought since it was later in the evening, I could have one or two....BULLSHIT! I found myself wasted AND it was two in the morning.
I am going to do this but, it is like anything else, you have to feel your way around the edges until you are confident.
Doggy girl- thanks!

[satori]

I'm very nervous...

Hey Cheebs,

Yep - in the early days, friends can be a real problem!

If you can't avoid situations with the friends for a while, you possibly need to get your hubby roped in more to come to your aid if they try to put pressure on you.
Remember - it is YOUR health we are talking about - no-one has the right to put pressure on you to damage your health if you choose not to do so.

My own friends tried to pressurise me into having a beer in the early days because they thought I wasn't really serious about quitting - but after I stuck to my guns, they quickly realised I just don't drink any more - and so don't try to make me.

As I said before - We still all go out and do all the things we used to - the ONLY difference is the drinks I have don't have alcohol in them.

In fact - last time we were out, towards the end of the evening, when I offered them a drink - they chose to have whatever I was drinking.
Seems some of MY habits are rubbing off.

Satori
xxx