SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

[Beaches]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

What a great way to start Sunday morning! LMAO

[wonderworld]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

morning beaches and FMS (Flinging My Salad ?) !

[jane jane]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

And a good morning to all the new members of Jane Jane's Insane Language Club! Wonderworld, I'm thinking that your dear mother should be our mascot. So many of your mother's irritants are exactly mine, as well...they all make me go "nukular!" One day I shall explode, and if there are any pregnant women nearby they will all give birth to tiny Wee Melonheads! But then, perhaps, that would make the world a better place. Certainly a funnier one!

Oh, my, so many posts to comment on, I'll never be able to do it. I have loved every one of them, and yes, Beaches, the ideal way to start a Sunday morning. I don't think I'll make it to early Mass. Mea culpa.

Now that we've savaged all the misusers of proper English usage, let's move to Unfortunate Names for Baby. I will begin with a tale I swear is true: a friend of my sister was about to have her baby, and they knew it was a girl. She had her heart set on "Mallory" and Husband hated that, and wanted her to be "Alison." So instead of (duh) simply using one and making the other a middle name, they combined them and called the tiny thing..."Malison." Go look the word up in the Big Dick (or any dic) and see if you'd want to go through life being called..."a curse"!!!

[wonderworld]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Jane Jane - OMG!!! I love the name Mallory, and Alison ....well, that's my middle name. But MASLISON?!?! NO!!!!!

True story: A few years ago there was a kid on a winning high school basketball team in NYC who was in the news. His name was...... get ready.......no lie....... Scientific Maps! That was his first name!!! Can you imagine?

Mom would absolutely be honored to be this thread's mascot. It IS her life's work after all .
Happy Sunday!

[hippie37]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Finding My Self;219301 wrote: This thread is just absolutely fantastic!!

Love FTS (Frightened To Speak!!!)

XX

I'm glad you think so Flabbergastingly Monochromatic Scientologist!

English in Europe

The European Comission has has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst pla s.



Glad we cleared that up then!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[lushy]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

I admit I am guilty of misusing a propos, so I thank you for that life lesson Jane.

Another pet peeve of mine. Two twins. Really, you think???? I thought maybe you had three twins.

And don't anyone be put off by Weemelon. She really is a lovable gourd. Hard to understand, but lovable.

[12many]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

OK, not quite ready to give up on the old rant - can I offer up:
Mute points. Not points that have already been argued and established, but, I suppose points that don't speak. How nice.
Firms that must 'grow' their top line (proffit, margin, ect). Don't we cause them to grow? We can grow herbs in a garden, but I don't think corporate america wants to plant, tend and water their financial results. This one might be obscure - Brainy Jane, may I have a ruling here?

As for naming your children awful things, there ought to be a fine, a written appology to the child and a committee formed to rename the child something acceptable. On this board, we will install the following subject matter experts:
1) name origin (biblical, cultural, etc)
2) spelling (see below)
3) a school teacher who must read role call
4) a receptionist who must look up your appointment
5) Announcer(s) from future sporting events
6) restaurant hostesses (hardly a species that needs looking after, but really, they are people too even if their only job is making your date feel underdressed and overweight
7) telephone business people (not the callers, the answerers)
8) one really cruel preteen from each gender

the approval must be unanimous or the name will default to Jane or John

As for the deluded, but incresing minority who think that name spelling is an art form - a pox on all of you! They will be referred to the above committee who wil prescribe a number of lashes with a big dictionary to be delivered by Jane Jane while she is in a foul mood. They used to starve a lion before feeding christians to it to ensure a good show. I think we'll tie Jane in a chair while pagent queens and pop stars are interviewed on TV for an hour or so to make sure she's really worked up first.

Wow, that was liberating.

Cheers,
Dave

[Finding My Self]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Sorry, posted both somehow?!?! Deleted this one; it was the one full of typos!!! And gaps and rubbish....!

[Finding My Self]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Dave! Feel better now?!?! Great!

Names..... I was at school with Ann Teak and Heather Clover....Sadly, having tried everything to be really sure there weren't any future problems as above....my son is still Ben T. Which wasn't a problem at playschool but at 14, I suggest he uses a bit more ink in the neck of his sweatshirts!!!! (Uses his full surname.) Or leaves a much bigger gap.........!! Poor chap!

Not particularly clever for this great thread but it's zzzzzzzzzzzz time!!

Love to all
FMS xx (Monochrome??? Moi!? Hippie!!)

[wonderworld]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Hi -larious Dave! Jane Jane tied in a chair.....pagent queens and pop stars...... lol!!!:H

FMS - you just reminded me........as a child I sometimes played with a girl named Shanda Lear. No lie! Cruel!!

[tawnyfrog]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Willhelmina Willfahrt. True.

[hippie37]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Can anyone tell me whether or not punctuation marks go outside or inside the brackets. (not that I'm bothered too much by it)!!!. Do I still use a full stop after an exclamation mark as well. Also what about quotation marks when using speech; is this the same rule as for the brackets "inside or outside!!!" hippie yelled (just read back and it's definitely inside for that one isn't it!!)!! ?????.

My grammar sucks!!!

(Fornicating Monthly Subscriber)FMS

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[MyOwnWoman]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Hippie - I'm a copywriter, and my boss has been hitting me over the head to get me to use quote marks correctly. They go outside the punctuation no matter what.
"The hell, I say."
I think with brackets - if it is a full phrase within the brackets, punctuation goes within. If it's a phrase within a sentence, punctuation on the outside.
Examples:
Punctuation makes me crazy (sometimes).
(I hate having my work edited.)

[MyOwnWoman]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

A great book for learning proper punctuation and such is "Eats Shoots and Leaves." (See - I had to put the quote mark after the period, and I think it should be inside to enclose the name of the book. They may be the rules - but rules are made to be changed!!

Anyway, if you want the little story behind the title of the book let me know.

[Roz]

SO Smart Yet SO Stupid?

Thanx Jane, You done good on riting that thred. You our a reel insparation.