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First pub visit in 37 AF days....

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    #1

    First pub visit in 37 AF days....

    Yep, I'll be honest, I?ve avoided the any pub or bar since starting being AF. But today the girlfriend and I went out during the day with some of her friends and at the end of the afternoon they all headed straight for the pub. At this point the girlfriend looked at me and asked if it was alright if we went too. I got a bit nervous but thought that it?s something that I?m going to need to do at some point and agreed to drop in for one with them.

    I?ll admit that I don?t think it?s a good idea for me to have a drink (or moderate) at the moment. I don?t trust myself and have this strong feeling that just one beer will bring back all the symptoms that made me stop. Anyway?.

    So here I am with a group of people I hardly know and in a pub and really struggling to think of what to order (I cannot remember not having a beer when in a pub) and eventually just asked for a tap water. But I wasn?t the only one not drinking; there was also another girl there. This started a ?why not?? conversation. At this point I was dumbstruck but this girl just comes up with ?oh I just don?t like alcohol, but everyone thinks I?m a recovering alcoholic because I don?t drink?. I nearly fell off my chair but then everyone laughed and moved on. I made it, but I really haven?t felt so uncomfortable in ages!

    Bloody baptism by fire that was, and I wanted a beer! But home now, and day 38 AF tomorrow. Sometimes it?s a test isn?t it??!
    Tags: None
    #2
    First pub visit in 37 AF days....

    :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:

    Well done amashed, I remember when you were new here, bet you never thought that you'd see this day ........

    Proud of you ..........
    sigpicXXX

    Comment

      #3
      First pub visit in 37 AF days....

      Amashed - you deserve your medal!!! Brilliant! OK - so now you can work out some 'strategies' as in whether it'll be Coke or lime and lemonade or.... all by the pint - drunk by loads of men. And, sad isn't it that so many think that not drinking means that?! 'Course it doesn't. and most don't think than....I worked for a lady years ago who hadn't drunk since she contracted Hepatitis B in India... and my daughter #1 doesn't drink either just because she doesn't like it....I think it depends on who you hang out with....(and soon your friends will discover that you can be just as much fun sober, if not more!)

      And who needs to know why you don't drink? Do you really need to know why they DO?!?!
      In 'polite society' it's "Not Done" to ask such 'impertinent' questions.... so cultivate a 'I don't much care for your manners' smile for when asked in the future!!!!!....

      You've done really well for 37 days.... took me a bit longer to really feel 'ok' in a pub. Now....no prob and yes, sooooh many folk don't drink!

      Polish your halo!

      Love FMS xx
      :heart: c: :heart:
      "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

      Comment

        #4
        First pub visit in 37 AF days....

        Nicely done. amashed!!

        I have my favorite "why I don't drink" one-liners ready for such occasions. I also know what I am going to order aheadof time. This helps tons and takes the pressure off going to out. I love to socialize, so I learned that a long time a ago - I have to go prepared.

        You should be very proud of yourself!!
        MM
        Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

        Comment

          #5
          First pub visit in 37 AF days....

          Great Job Amashed!!!!
          :wd: :wd: :wd: :wd:

          You will find it easier and easier to go to pubs or whatever and not drink alcohol. And your friends will get used to it. It is none of their business why. Just tell them you don't like it, it makes you sick, you have to drive later, whatever. You'll find you can still have a great time and after a while your friends will get used to it and not even ask.

          What you did was really hard - You must be very proud of yourself. Big hugs to you!!!
          Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

          Comment

            #6
            First pub visit in 37 AF days....

            Amashed,

            What you did was REALLY hard and you did it!!

            :goodjob:

            Cindi
            AF April 9, 2016

            Comment

              #7
              First pub visit in 37 AF days....

              It took me about 2 months before I could handle being around friends who were drinking, let alone go out to a pub. I always liked the 'crack' in pubs more than anything I think, having a laugh and getting drunk was all a part of it. I've realised without the drink though I'm much sharper and wittier than when I was when drunk. i can still have em laughing their arses off without making an idiot of myself in the process. Like you say, in this country there is a big stigma surrounding ex-drinkers in pubs but I tend to just tell people the truth so they have nowhere to go with it then. Less hassle all round when you get it out in the open I think. That's just me though. If I were gay I probably couldn't wait to get out the closet.

              you obviously reminded yourself of the consequences and you acted accordingly, even though you may of felt a bit uncomfortable at times. I bet you got home though and you felt absolutely proud of yourself and quite rightly so!

              Love and Happiness
              Hippie
              xx
              "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
              Clean and sober 25th January 2009

              Comment

                #8
                First pub visit in 37 AF days....

                Hey Mate,

                Congrats on getting thro that difficult situation you found yourself in. It is brilliant that you took it on the chin and faced the bar knowing how difficult it was going to be.

                It would have been easy to ask your Girlfriend if you could both swerve the pub, but you were stronger than that, again well done.

                For the scenario you have explained, it is why, for me, moderation is the way forward. What is gained is that such a situation wouldn't necessarily be the problem, however, the downside is constantly constantly keeping a lid on it.

                Anyhoo, good on ya.

                Comment

                  #9
                  First pub visit in 37 AF days....

                  Amashed,

                  Well done!

                  What you describe has always been my downfall when I try to go AF, but you have shown strength, resilience and, above all, magnanimity in that you did not want to spoil your girlfriend's fun: you put yourself on the line to give someone something that they wanted. Fantastic! You are a lesson and an inspiration my friend.

                  Raoul

                  Comment

                    #10
                    First pub visit in 37 AF days....

                    You need to change your name mate, from ashamed to dead proud coz that is fantastic, i cant imagine going to the the pub and not drinking alcohol, you are an absolute star and if i were you i would be very proud.

                    love Em x
                    Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today, if you do it today and like it, you can do it again tomorrow!

                    xEmx

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