this is pathetic

[Guest]

Hi guys, woke up yesterday morning with my ribs on my right side sore to the touch, First tought look for bruises, none found. Why did I look for bruises? force of habit, from when I would get plastered fall down and have unexplained bumps and bruises. I actually thought for a moment that I must have got up during the night and drank in my sleep I came downstairs to look for evidence. None found. I just felt rather patheic, that this is so ingrained within me. I can get an unexplained bump or bruise without thinking the absolute worse about myself. I still don't know why my ribs were sore. probably something I did during a workout. It's just in my mindset always think the worst of yourself, sometimes your damned if you do and damned if you don't
Mar

[YoungAtHeart]

this is pathetic

It's an old habit, Mar, and it will die hard. The good news is that you weren't drinking and can't blame it on that. You will probably be a little self-accusatory for a while until that habit is broken and you realize that you really haven't been drinking in your sleep. Meanwhile, try to be kinder to yourself. You are anything but pathetic.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[Finding My Self]

this is pathetic

I second that Kathy.... Mar, old habits take a while and the thoughts will pop up for ages. Take time to think good things about yourself...be ready with 'one of those' when the memory plays its tricks... I guess it's like when I sucked my thumb as a kid....even years after I stopped I would wake up with my thumb in my mouth! eek! But I think actually getting up and drinking would be pushing it!!! Thank it for keeping vigilant for you while you settle in your journey. (And tell Guilt to bu**er off!)

These thoughts will pass and/or you'll get to 'smile' about them....

You're doing just great.
Lvoe FMS xx

[MyOwnWoman]

this is pathetic

Sounds familiar - I still sometimes wake in the wee hours, nights I don't drink (which are most now), and start cussing myself out for getting drunk the night before. Then I remember, hey, I didn't drink last night! I know the feeling you have, feeling pathetic that such patterns are so ingrained.
But I try to turn it around when that happens and turn the self-beratement into kudos for myself.
It's really a good thing, actually. Our brain patterns aren't always keepign up with the change in our behavioral patterns, but they will!

[jane jane]

this is pathetic

Oh, we've all done that. If we've learned nothing else from the friends on this site, it's that our "unique" problems/coping/hiding/denial techniques are all too universal! Quite comforting. Sometimes a bruise is just a bruise (to paraphrase Freud)...not a stigmata from a drunk night!

[BILLYJACK]

this is pathetic

I've actually woke up a few times on a Saturday morning thinking that I should NATURALLY have a HEADACHE.........Because im so darned used to parting on a Friday night..This happened a few times even when I did NOT drink on Friday night.

Body has its own time clock I guess.

Bill

[MDBiker]

this is pathetic

Mar I don't think that is pathetic. You are clear headed, know where you are and what you are doing, and not running around with a foggy mind. You are so blessed you may have had this experience so you will realize what you have accomplished. You are doing fine, don't fret over what things might mean; enjoy and be grateful for the things you know you have.

God bless

:huggy

bear

[Guest]

this is pathetic

Simey,
I think it takes us a long time to shake off the guilty conscience, whether we`re AF or mods. I also sometimes wake in the middle of the night and find it takes me a coupla minutes to realize I had not been drinking that evening.........weird or what?

Starlight Impress x

[Niblet]

this is pathetic

You're so cute ... Isn't it the truth in what you wrote ?!! We always expect that we were blind eyed drunk when something atall is amiss in our lives... Now, it is wonderful to actually remember knocking into something and saying " that's gonna leave a bruise " Haa !! haa !!! I usually bump into something atleast once a week at work knowing fullwell I'm gonna "feel that later"... There is alot of muscles and soft tissue that support our ribs, so you are just making yourself "ripped" is all... tee !! hee !!! Those Hip Hoppity Chicks aint got nothin' on you !!!!

[Justin Time]

this is pathetic

Simey,

I judge you guilty! How many times have we said those words to ourselves? I have actually been studying how to stop the pattern because it is so ingrained in me. Turns out there is actual research to show that some of us are born optimists and some are born pessimists and it mostly has to do with what we tell ourselves after something bad happens to us. Anyway, if you are interested a good book on the topic is learned optimism by Martin Seligman. I have been learning to dispute the irrational & "pathetic" things I say to myself as a way of getting out of my rumination cycle. Weird that I have to make that conscious effort but it's the way I am wired....