day five

[me145]

hey guys. i just had to go a month af, things werent getting to better. i wasnt trying THAT hard to moderate, as in taking my supplements. this is because the supplements i think take the pleasure out of my drinking, something that just made me wonder what the point of drinking was if it didnt make you feel good. yet, i still want to go out and feel good on a friday night. i have depression issues, i know. so that has soo much to do with my alcohol issues, binging, etc. my biggest problem is stopping when i start. lately i have been drinking more days per week than usual, mostly due to a bf i live with that drinks daily, causing me to want to drink more. instead of just the two night a week at the bars thing, it became drinking in the apartment. anywya, im not blaming him. but i just had to start my month af, and then figure out the plan after that. maybe ill have to take my supplements. my whole point is, is that im doing it. just venting. its a friday night, and i was really in the mood to go out. im 26. came home from school, and then drove out to jersey where my bf's family lives, and we were gonna stay here the weekend. it sucked coming here and everyone was lauphing and drinking wine. err. i sat with them for awhile, then my bf and i came up to watch a movie. but its real tough to look at that wine and want it. im becoming a wine drinker moreso these days. i like the sleepy feeling it gives me when im home watching a movie ( not out) because i have trouble sleeping, so it helps relax my body! not a nice feelin inthe mornin of course! anyways, just ventings as i said. but i did want to tell anyone who is interested in taking antabuse, it just seems like a godsend for me. im doing it temporarily, to take a break from the drinking. i wanted to take a break for three reasons: hating become worse withthe alcohol. scared. know it runs in my family. 2-to see if my depression lifts a LOT. i know it lifts after three days of not drinking, so i would imagine a month would completely rid the alcohol of the body, causing the depression to almost disappear. i have yet to see. i have a feeling it will feel just like i do today in three weeks. my depression feels better, but it is still there. ( i know all about ssri's, antidepressants, etc, so u dont have to give me advice.. been there done that.. other story)another reason is if i go out and get drunk at a bar with my boyfriend, for some reason id say about once every few months, i turn nasty. i dont remember bceause i black out. or its blurry and i cant remember exactly what happened, but he says that i would lash at him. for example last sat we went to the city and i was angry with him, and it came out when i was drunk. some guy put his arm around me at the bar, and wanted me to play beer pong. ( my gf, me, him, and his friend) my bf didnt want me to and was like no no. he doenst like me playing beer pong with two guys and him standing there. according to him, i screamed, " get off of me! your not my boyfriend!" we have our issues, but i hate the fact that i cant remember details. the blackouts are scary and embarassing to. they are less, but come occasionally. and lastly, i wanted to lose five pounds.. hehe. so back to the antabuse. everyone is different, and it depends on how much is in your body. if a person takes antabuse, it can stay in the body for two weeks. just one pill. maybe one wouldnt last that long, but its an estimate. if in those two weeks, the person drinks, they could have mild to severe symptoms. mild could be nausea and headache, and severe is put in the hospital. somewhere inthe middle is where most go-flushing, heart beat fast, severe sever eheadache, and nasty vomiting. i know it sounds scary. but ill tel ya this much-it works to help me not go out when im tempted to the bars. im only doing this for a month. i know, antabuse probably isnt the permanent answer. anyway, good luck everyone. wish we all didnt suffer from this problem.

[Guest]

day five

good luck to you too me145.

[hippie37]

day five

Hi me145

I've been told so many stories by my GP about the consequences of drinking on antabuse tablets that it scares me half to death just to consider picking up a drink. They are not a permanent answer for me either as I don't want to live in fear all of my life. They are a short term solution to a problem that is part of a much bigger problem. I've also suffered with anxiety and depression in the past and I'm still taking a small amount of antiD's at present along with the Antabuse tablets.
And don't get me started on those blackout stories.....!! I've got a ton of them to tell as well....!! It was always the guilt that got me from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning I would now something wasn't quite right by the look on my partners face!!.

Keep up the positive steps you are making ODAAT

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[MyOwnWoman]

day five

I hope you know that you are fortunate to be tackling your drinking problem while you are so young. I wish I had, and am sure others here would say the same.
Do stick with the quitting, so that you will not regret lost decades when you are older. You are off to a great start.
Best wishes to you.

[me145]

day five

thanks guys! I agree with you Hippie.. i know what you mean about the antabuse. its scary to think of taking a drink, but the alcohol problem to me is bigger. And ya, the blackouts suck so much. i hate them. its weird at the time when your drunk you dont know to slow down. its like ur ok drunk at one point, and then u wake up the next morning and the rest of the night was foggy.... usually that happens at the very end of the night, like right before i am to go home, and im usualy with my bf, so he tells me how i "stumbled" out of the bar with him. its horrible. he has adrinking problem himself, but not like me. he doesnt get like that. stumbling.. but he gets drunk, an "ok" drunk about four times a week. i dont get it.. in my mind, he doesnt have the alcohol disease genetically. he just likes to have that buzz, somewhat drunk feeling often. me, its on both sides of the family. bad. ok, talk to ya lates.