I have decided to get 30 days AF under my belt before we get so close to Christmas that I put it off until the New Year. I have never tried to do 30 days before. So it will be a challenge, but from all the posts at MYO, I think it's really important to achieve the 30 days in order to see how life can be better AF. My husband, who doesn't share my addiction, says he will join me (which is SO vital for me). But I was wondering whether any of you out there would like to join me. We can try and support one another. Together I'm sure we can do it!
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Cooking - That is so great. I am sure you will get lots of 'Pre-Christmas-Helpers'. I am so glad hubby is joining you too - what a help! Today is a good date to pick; by Christmas you'll feel soooh different. (e.g. than if you'd picked 12th Dec....) Hats off to good planning!
I will be 'gunning for you' every inch of the way...
Love FMS xx:heart:
c: :heart:
"Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you." -
Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Thanks FM. Hope I do get some others on board. It would be so supportive.Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Hey Cooking Happy - me me me! I'll join you. I was just going to post my own 30 day start request but I'll be more than happy to join you - let's do it! I've just back from a very boozy holiday - I was hopeless - dranks loads so I really really do need to stop now. I've got the meds so I hope they will help. I've managed a few days at a time before now but I think 30 days will be a toughie. However, I've read so many encouraging posts about doing 30 days that I know it has to be done. Go us! I'll try and get my hubby on board too - he usually does a month off in January so he should be able to do it.Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Maybe we can swap recipes too? I like cooking but always short of ideas. Making a good dinner is a way of keeping me busy in the evenings (my danger time) though I will have to get over the idea of opening a bottle to go with it.....
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
welcome
Brilliant! I'm very happy you want to join me. Have sent pm just incase you're not reading the thread anymore. See we're a similar age? I'm 44! Love to know a bit about you if you feel like sharing.
Are there any more of you who'd like to join us???Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
OK count me in!!
I had an absolutely wonderful stint of AF in Sept., and really found I had an incredible change in mindset regarding alcohol, but it didn't stick Anyway, I think I am ready to do this again! Last night was my first night AF in quite awhile, and waking up this morning has helped me to remember why I want this so badly. SO, I would love to do this together with you guys!!!!
My difficult time is usually around 5pm (eastern standard). I will probably be looking for support on chat at that time, so if you want to talk then, you can come look for me there.
Let's do this together!!!
Bethformerly known as bak310Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Hi Bak310 - join our gang! If you did well in September I bet you can do it all again. So, day 1 today - good luck!Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Inspiration
I've read two posts today which I found inspirational and encouraging. In case you didn't read them I wanted to post to help us along:
MyOwnWoman
Feeling like a "normal" person.
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All my life, while watching movies or TV shows, or reading a novel, and the characters aren't drinking, I've thought "How strange!!" Even when I was a kid, before I started drinking, it seemed odd to me, as every adult I knew got drunk every day. And during my adulthood, drinking myself, I'd watch a character under stress and think, "Why doesn't she have a damn drink???" And getting to know other adults who didn't drink all the time, I thought, "How weird is THAT. What DO they do at night??"
For me, drinking daily was a normal way of life. Does that therefore mean that I thought non-drinkers are abnormal?
Now that I can go several nights without a single craving for drink - I simply make dinner, spend time with my daughter, read, clean my house - I realize that THIS is "normal".
It may seem like a trivial revelation, but to me it's a revelation nonetheless. Know what I mean? It says a lot about the mindset we drinkers have, or me, at least -- just as noon means lunchtime, evening and social occasions mean drinking time.
I'm not quite sure how I got here from drinking as heavily and daily as I had been just a few months ago. Somehow, while acheiving more and more AF days that became increasingly more comfortable, and the drinking days came to be the exception rather than the rule, my mindset has changed. A paradigm shift. And I think the shift in my mindset might be the biggest factor in my nearly effortless ability to not drink but once or twice a week.
And to be DOING things! I've never much thought about DOING things that took away from my drinking time!! This occurred to me tonight as I decided to volunteer to serve dinner to seniors on Thanksgiving, and to take a writing course.
So this is what it's like to not have alcohol as the center of my life! Just like a "normal" person!!
Whodathunk??!!
Now, dare I say, I am not only My Own Woman, but I also have My Own Life.
I guess that's the ultimate goal of conquering addiction. To own one's self and life. Now I get it.
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satori
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I was talking about the "switch" that seemed to get thrown in my head about 4 months ago now for me.
Before that time - I was struggling with staying AF or moderating.
One day after having been here at MWO for about 4 months, I woke up one morning just "knowing" something had changed and that I was going to beat this addiction.
I described it at the time as just a feeling that I couldn't be bothered with it all any more (the hassle and stress and negative stuff that went along with drinking).
Since pretty much that day I have been AF.
(I think it was a few days after this feeling arose that I "signed up" for 30 days AF.
That was 117 days ago!
BUT - if you want the low down on what to expect if you DO decide to stay AF.
The first few days (5 or 6) I found hard work and during those initial AF days I used Kudzu - I had not used it before then.
I found it took the few cravings I was having away.
After day six - I found I didn't need it any more - and have not used it (or anything else) since.
About day 11 / 12 I was finding I was sleeping better and my energy levels were rising rapidly.
I also found I was having more vivid dreams and remembering more of them - I guess due to REM sleep no longer being messed up by booze!
About day 30 I found I was having very few thoughts about alcohol - even in the evening - my normal drinking time.
I was able about then to go into bars with friends and be around others who were drinking - triggered the odd craving - but I had enough distance from alcohol myself by then to be able to ignore the cravings.
Now - almost 4 months AF - 98% of the time do not consider alcohol an option.
I in no sense mean I consciously deprive myself of it - I simply do not consider it any more - it doesn't come into my head when considering something to drink.
It is almost as though I never drank alcohol to huge excess for 20 plus years!
The other 2% of the time - Yes - I still get the odd craving - and some STRONG cravings.
Strangely it is usually for WINE - beer was what I drank to excess!
My wife still drinks a little (as she always did) - so there is often a part bottle of red wine on the kitchen counter. I sometimes get a real urge to take a long deep swig out of the bottle as I am passing! - Weird - but these urges are very short lived and pass almost immediately.
But I look back at where I am now - how much better my life is now and how I am this way simply by chosing not to have some ethanol in my drinks, and it really is a no brainer!
I am truly much happier healthier and contented with just about all aspects my life.
I wish you all success!
Love
Satori
xxxComment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Satori's post REALLY was helpful to me cooking!!! I need to remember that is does get not only better, but really good!!!
Thanks for that!!
Beth
WE CAN DO THISformerly known as bak310Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
How are you doing?
I made it through first night AF. Hope you did too. I found it hardest getting over the time when I'd normally open a bottle. Once beyond dinner though it went ok. Does anyone know what usually happens to sleep when you go AF?Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
yeh ! very strange dreams!!! im on day 10 and still having mad dreams and oh! yeh ,having trouble going potty as well!Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
How are you doing?
Made it through day 2 AF. Haven't heard from anyone else here though? Would really like to hear how it's going for you.
Last night was easy for me as I took one of my daughters to the Mika concert with a group of friends. How the tables have turned! First I went to concerts, now I'm taking her, then she'll want to go without me, then perhaps when I'm old we'll end up going to some Sacha Distel equivalent together again!
Anyway, suffice to say, being in a totally different context than at home in front of the telly made not drinking easy.
I am however thinking of refusing an invitation this Friday (girlie night out to pub) because I know I'll want to drink.
Still not sleeping well. Gave up the mild Stilnoct sleeping pills 5 nights ago. Hadn't planned to at all, but forgot to take them one night, so thought I'd try and see how long I could cope without them. It's hard though to get off to sleep sober, and stay asleep without them helping me. Any advice?Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Hi again. Lost this thread for a while. Fraid I am back to start today!!! First day easy, yesterday I was climbing the walls but the only booze in the house was gin and tonic. Ice was out in the garage and it was peeing down with rain and dark so a disincentive to go out and get it (and I only drink it without ice once already drunk!!) Hubby was out working but when he came in asked if I wanted a drink. My head said no and out of my mouth came yes..... Still only the one as I was absolutely shattered from a long day out. Nonetheless, not a good start but onwards and upwards, one day at a time. Tonight should be easy. Going out to eat a good curry and it's my turn to drive. Going to re-read the book and work out which meds to take and when - need to give myself some help. I found those stories you posted CH very inspirational. How you doing?
PS Did a lovely pork belly slice dish last night, with a veg and noodle stir fry. Kept me out of trouble for quite a while...!Comment
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Mon 12 Nov. Join me on 30 days AF!
Bessie, wanted to send pork belly recipe to you but couldn't work scanner! Then what with Mika concert last night didn't really connect with husband to ask for his help! Did have two ideas, but glad yours worked out anyway.
I know it's a huge feeling of failure when you crack and have a drink and that it cuts into the amount of days you've been AF but at least you stopped at one. Once I start, I tend to think 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. I genuinely find it easier not to drink at all than to stop at one glass.
Thanks for posting!Comment
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