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    Addressing Underlying Issues

    Hello All
    Good to still be here, albeit I rarely post any more but do read every day! Over a year and it is still the best place to get advice encouragement and inspiration, without a shadow of a doubt (and not forgetting lots of laughs!).


    Anyway, something I have been thinking about for some time now and I notice that many here have stressed how essential this aspect of successful ?recovery? is?that is, to treat our underlying symptoms/problems if we want to truly become well/sober (or in control), that merely stopping drinking without addressing these issues will, more than likely, cause us to revert back to old habits at some later stage.

    In my search for all manner of tools to help me, I am always faced with a dilemma, for example, with hypnosis, should I go for one for curing my alcohol addiction or my anxiety or my low self-esteem/self-confidence and once those areas are ?fixed? then the alcohol will no longer be an issue? I know this seems strange when we are all here battling this, but I just wondered if I worked on those issues, would my desire for alcohol dissipate?

    A few years ago I attended a counselling course and met with the counsellor first and told her about my drinking. I was amazed that she seemingly brushed it aside and said it was inevitable as I was medicating and needed to sort out other problems. I thought this was so wrong and far off the mark!! I mean I was telling her I was drinking too much and she didn?t seem to see it as a problem!! But now, I see what she was saying and I?m beginning to think more and more about this.

    I hope I'm making sense; I?ve been trying to make sense of it myself but it just won?t go away and I wanted to ?talk? to someone about it!! Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I?d appreciate hearing from you! (BTW, I am not trying to say that the alcohol is not a huge problem that shouldn?t be tackled now; not at all. It is doing damage in so many ways and cutting it out or back should be paramount)

    OK, I?ll post this now. I can?t seem to put it any more eloquently. I hope it doesn?t come across as ?keep on drinking guys, everything will sort itself out?:H

    Much love
    Blondie

    #2
    Addressing Underlying Issues

    Hi Blondie~almost a yr for me here too (sometime next week).

    When I first went to my doctor to ask for help we talked and I'll never forget him saying to me "you really need to find out the 'real' reason you choose to drink". This was when I was asking him for Campral. So he was basically saying to me "I can give you something for the craving but you need to work on why you do what you do".

    Deep down I know I need to work on issues. Taking alcohol out of the equation helps me adress them with a clear head.

    Good luck Blondie. And Happy Anniversary!
    :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

    Comment


      #3
      Addressing Underlying Issues

      Blondie - you make total sense! And keep 'rambling' (not that I think you are at all!) until you find your answer..... as Flip says, "The squeakiest wheel gets most oil" and you
      deserve to get your oil...every last drop!

      I was interested as I came from the other end as it were. I knew I drank due to 'ishoos' but felt I got tripped up by a (I am sure well-meaning) bunch of various people who said the issues were irrelevant and I was wasting time looking at them in such depth and I 'should just stop drinking'....

      I was not!! Writ large! I actually hadn't been looking at them hard enough despite years of counselling! It was only when I had come to realise just where it is possible to get (for me anyway)...how far down...that I 'got at them' with a seriousness that amazed me! (Mostly I quite moaning about things/people that upset me, quit knowing they 'made a negative impact on me' but just droned on and on with a drink in my hand and finally looked after me, quit droning, removed them or changed something and didn't take/need/want the drink. Now I feel the 'work wheel' is rolling forwards....and a clear head makes it even 'easier'...(?!?!)

      Good luck to you all the way! Over a year is wonderful.

      Love FMS xx
      :heart: c: :heart:
      "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

      Comment


        #4
        Addressing Underlying Issues

        Hi Blondie,

        I recently saw a hypnotherapist and asked him why I drank so much, and he said "people drink too much in order to achieve an altered state of consciousness... because there's something about themselves they don't like".

        It sounds obvious, but I'd never thought about it like before. Since then I've been trying to face up to my particular "issue" - and it's something that I thought
        I'd dealt with years ago and had all worked out. But, the more time I can spend AF, the more I can see clearly that I haven't yet dealt with it and if I don't fix that, I'll never fix my drinking.

        I'm glad you posted. I don't post much either, but I also keep reading and learning.
        sigpic
        AF since December 22nd 2008
        Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

        Comment


          #5
          Addressing Underlying Issues

          Hi everyone, oddly enough since I've gone AF I have finally begun to release anger (long overdue, legitimate and repressed with alcohol). My usual demeanor has been cheerful, upbeat, energetic (and often drunk). Now I am all those things except I express legitimate anger (especially about/to my very difficult/abusive husband) and feel better and stronger, even though those around me stupidly and erroneously say I have "mood swings" or hubby says I'm "abusive." I feel so much better now ... no depression, no anxiety, no medication and no booze, no urges and no cravings either!!! Depression is anger turned in against oneself, and I do believe that. Anyway, just some thoughts, good luck and take good care, j
          Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

          Comment


            #6
            Addressing Underlying Issues

            Be CAREFUL,
            far too many of us are indeed, full blown alcoholics, and we use some OTHER factor in our lives as EXCUSES for our drinking..Im not saying that this is what is going on in YOUR life, but please look at it as well..

            An Alcoholic can dream up ALL the excuses in the world to drink, but it still does not change the fact that we have the disease of alcoholism, and have to address that as well as ANY underlying issue that could hamper our sobriety.

            We will never heal if we continue to find other excuses to drink.. Our drinking can be affected by other issues in our lives too, but that does not change the fact that we are alcoholics and must address the disease too.

            Comment


              #7
              Addressing Underlying Issues

              Hello again
              and thanks for your replies; they did help clarify things.

              I must say straight away, I have been on this site for over a year, NOT AF for over a year!! I wish!!! Had lots of AF periods and heading in the right direction though!! And BillyJack, I do completely understand what you are saying too. I really don't know. Just that in my latest AF period I haven't been bothered by alcohol, hardly thought about it and had no cravings (I'm not fooling myself that this is easy or anything). I wondered if I was really confident and not self-conscious would I have a need for alcohol?? I don't know, because I never have been. So I thought in looking for a counsellor or other help, that I should emphasise this as my problem and the alcoholism as the by-product? Sounds too simplistic now

              Will continue to mull over this till I tie myself in knots:H
              thanks all
              blondie

              Comment


                #8
                Addressing Underlying Issues

                I am going to have to say I agree with Billyjack. Tons of people have way more issues and still don't drown them out with booze. I have known sooo many people with horendous problems who would not consider drowning them away with drinking. But, that still doesn't mean we shouldn't try to figure out what will make us a better person and what is holding us back, but dwelling on things we cannot change (for me) doesn't make it better, it just makes me feel bad.

                Sometimes though I think it could come back to bite me.....For me, honestly, I liked getting the BIG buzz...it made me feel good and that's it. All the other in my head stuff I do think needs working on that is for sure, but I never felt like I was going there to get away from something I was avoiding.

                I don't think there is a complete answer to this, as everyone does things for different reasons.

                I think I am tied in knots. Thanks for the interesting thread.

                GO

                Comment


                  #9
                  Addressing Underlying Issues

                  Yep - I agree with Freebird / BillyJack - everyone has their own personal reasons - could be unresolved "issues" - or could just be alcohol addiction - so no magic bullets I'm afraid.

                  But - whatever the reasons - for "special" people like us, alcohol is NEVER the answer!


                  Love

                  Satori

                  xxx
                  "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Addressing Underlying Issues

                    There's an old saying for some drinkers,

                    ''I dont have a drinking problem, I have a THINKING problem''

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Addressing Underlying Issues

                      I know that I have underlying issues and I know I drink to "get a grip" on those issues. Of course I never do really get a grip while drinking, I can just ignore them for a bit and perhaps create some new more interesting issues rather than the same old ones I refused to deal with in the first place. I am now fully concentrating on dealing with my issues, as I am tired of doing things that don't make me feel better. Of course at the moment my issues loom large in my view and I often feel hopeless about dealing with them. I do however refuse to use alcohol to avoid these problems any longer. Its hard and its painful but I believe that it will be worth it, I have to or else I'll go off the deep end.

                      -lorelei
                      Suddenly I see
                      This is what I want to be
                      suddenly I see
                      Why the hell it means so much to me.

                      -KT Tunstall

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Addressing Underlying Issues

                        Yeh man, Thinking problem galore. Everyone who knows me well will say that I tend to over analyze every thing (to death), but I have to get to the truth and it kills me not knowing (the truth that is).

                        GO

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Addressing Underlying Issues

                          free bird;225099 wrote: Yeh man, Thinking problem galore. Everyone who knows me well will say that I tend to over analyze every thing (to death), but I have to get to the truth and it kills me not knowing (the truth that is).

                          GO
                          I am also guilty of over analysis, its one of those things I have to let go of. When I can get myself out of that mode I am a much happier person. I also find myself more able to give to those around me.
                          Suddenly I see
                          This is what I want to be
                          suddenly I see
                          Why the hell it means so much to me.

                          -KT Tunstall

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Addressing Underlying Issues

                            Working with underlying issues has been critical to my general well-being and has given me a good life that I feel is worth protecting and caring for. HOWEVER, no amount of self-awareness or personal growth will take away my alcohol problem. I've proved that more times than I can count!
                            That's why I'm here......
                            wonder

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Addressing Underlying Issues

                              Wonder,

                              The jury is still out on my alcohol problem. Its only been 6 months since I started working on it and only about a month since I started working on my underlying issues. For the most part I think alcohol free is the best way for me to be. I can moderate but I am not consistant with that ability. It might be that I still have a problem with the alcohol after I get my ducks in a row, maybe not...time will tell.

                              -lorelei
                              Suddenly I see
                              This is what I want to be
                              suddenly I see
                              Why the hell it means so much to me.

                              -KT Tunstall

                              Comment

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