Really want to drink.

[Finding My Self]

Really want to drink.

Well done Amelia!

Paragraph 2 is a goody really isn't it?! If drinking leads to nothing getting painted...ergo, not drinking will lead to painting getting done! Yea! (Simple version but KISS works I guess!)

It really sounds as if you're 'finding your own way out' slowly but surely and if steady, steady wins the race....there's a great big gold medal waiting for you.

Day 2 - brilliant....ODAT and it'll be Day 3....and nearly through the Gremlin Period (days 3-4)....don't forget it does get better very soon....then you can tell us how the painting/not painting feels then? I'm waiting eagerly to hear!.....

Love adn hugs
FMSxx

[AMELIA]

Really want to drink.

You are a real honey FMS!! Thank you.
xx

[slightlysuze]

Really want to drink.

Amelia...I was going to recommend The Artist's Way book too (hi Wonder!)..not all of it worked for me, but some things did.

I never worked drunk....it was the hangovers that stopped me working.

Amelia....life is short....don't let anything get in the way of your work. I could weep for the time I wasted over the years. No more!!

Maybe we need an artists/creatives thread here??


Suze xx

[AMELIA]

Really want to drink.

Hey Suze, thanks for reminding me again of the book Wonderworld mentioned. I will look into it. You are so right. I could weep for the last 10 years (they have virtually disappeared due to drink).
Hey, yeah - an artists/creatives thread sounds great!!
xx

[nancy]

Really want to drink.

Hi Amelia

It's good to hear that you were able to work with the hangover.

I am also a creative type and have some of the same issues you have. For example, always fearing that your next project won't be accepted, despite success in the past. This leads to horrible procrastination, anxiety and it all seems to be for nothing in the end as you jump over the hurdle, turn in your new project and please people yet again.

I don't really think this is an issue specific to creative people. After all, look around you at how colleagues in your line of work behave in these situations. When I do that, I see that they don't struggle with the anxiety and negative self-talk that I do. Most of them have high confidence, based on the good feedback they have received.

I think the problem lies in always seeking worth from external sources. And in fact, I was just reading about this in a book recommended by My Own Woman, that addiction is about seeking wholeness in external things.

So if you keep seeking wholeness or approval in your projects, you might not ever be satisfied and you still have this nagging anxiety that you are not good enough. Similar with alcohol.

I really work on my internal dialogue. I don't want to coddle myself, but I want to create an internal situation that is pleasant and nurturing. I think when you do this, there is much less need to escape with alcohol.

Work is just one aspect of life. Your internal life is really important and needs to be positive so you don't crave happiness in the external all the time.

[AMELIA]

Really want to drink.

Nancy I completey agree with you as far negative self talk goes. I went on a stress management course a few months back and was astounded at how many weeks were dedicated to identifying (the many different ways we think negatively) and finding ways to break the cycle of anxiety.
I think I will go through the notes over the next week or so as they are very helpful and thought provoking.
We were taught to take note of our innerselves on all levels, from our diet (and alchohol consumption of course), to our exercise, thought patterns - whether we jumped to conclusions, tended to catastrophize, thought in 'black & white' ways etc etc.

And, yes I think you may be right, that it is perhaps about looking inside ourselves for happiness, before looking outside.........

Thank you for reminding me. I will go through my course notes again.

xx

[nancy]

Really want to drink.

Hey Amelia

That course sounds great.

I did some reading up on cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps identify negative self-talk.

It was an eyeopener for sure. I really monitor my thoughts now as I don't want to be my own worst enemy. I find that indeed, I am a pain in the a** to myself sometimes and a harsh critic at times. Who would want to live inside that kind of head? Nobody. That is where booze comes in.

It's not about becoming an egotist and being positive about everything, embracing the abundance theory espoused by such books as the Secret. it's about having rational expectations of oneself. I find it really empowering though I still have a ways to go. I have to imagine that this harsh critic gets in the way of creativity. Granted I suppose creativity based in misery (sad works of art) might thrive. But what about creativity based on happiness and love?

certainly, it's hard to get work done if a voice inside your head is telling you that you are not very good. If you have a body of work behind you that people have loved, you should be feeling good about yourself and quite confident, even if a few projects in the future here and there don't go as well. Art should be enjoyable and you should allow yourself some pride in your achievements.

good luck and let us know how it goes.