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    #1

    Starting again

    First found this site back in March, got alot of encouragement and managed to moderate my drinking from 2 bottles of wine every night to 2-4 glasses a night, maybe more at weekends.

    Not sure what happened after the first month or so, but here i am, back to 2+ bottles a night, hangovers that just aren't hangovers anymore, just one constant drone. I went to the doctors last week who told me to try to moderate and asked me to get blood tests for liver functions etc (still haven't got to hospital for blood test, to hungover to go most days).

    Ordered Kudzu from here, which arrived today, have taken 3 pills so far (enough?) , hopefully not going to drink tonight, the night is early.

    Guess i have made those first steps by going to doctor and ordering some kudzu, but something still doesn't connect or seem serious to me, why is that?

    Anyway, hello all
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    #2
    Starting again

    Hi Dorsetdude. Have you read the book? Do you take other supps?

    As far as kudzu is concerned, I have had a very good experience with it. 3 pills of the MWO stuff in the afternoon seems to calm down my need for drinking. I still drink some days, and manage to abstain others, but I do think the kudzu is a big help.

    Yes, you have taken big steps, going to doctor and getting the kudzu. I hope you will get to the place you want to be.
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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      #3
      Starting again

      Hi dorsetdude!

      Hope everything is going well with you tonight i.e. your not gulping back wine by the pint!!!

      When I first tried to give up drink over 10 years ago I never really truthfully wanted to do so. Deep inside I wasn't going to change my lifestyle at all and all the promises of giving up the drink where for everyone else's benefit, not my own. I kind of labeled my way of thinking back then as Hendrixsyndrome!!!. Basically my way of looking at things was take everything to the extreme until I either died like Hendrix or was hospitalised through it. Obviously I'm still here so the latter was usually what made me quit. Thankfully I didn't get to that stage with my drinking as I think it was more of a psychological issue in the end where I probably would of ended up in a psychiatric ward with a serious lack of brain cells.

      Sometimes in life we have to hit rock bottom before we can start rebuilding our lives for the better. I'm not saying keep drinking till the shit hits the fan! We have choices and sometimes we choose to ignore the right choice for us due to fear of change. I know I could of changed my life around so many times during the last 10 years but I was ignorant and fearful of doing so because I thought I would loose my identity. I think at this moment in time you have those choices in front of you yourself right now and you are weary of what lies ahead if you choose to quit or moderate. Maybe it is that that is making you think less seriously about your future. Fear of change was the one thing that held me back for so many years and I only wish I'd known what I know now 10 years ago. I'm 37 now and been sober for 5 months. I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter whom I'm looking to spend Xmas with for the first time sober this year so I have my incentives to keep me on the straight and narrow. Have a good think about things and really be truthful with yourself and I think you'll find the answers.

      Love and Happiness
      Hippie
      xx
      "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
      Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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        #4
        Starting again

        how are ya dooing Dorsetdude?

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          #5
          Starting again

          Well done

          Hi dorsetdude, two of the major symptoms of alcoholism are denial coupled with the booze masquerading as a ?friend?, well booze is no friend of mine and has cost me a lot over the years and I don?t mean just $?s. For some of us moderation is just not an option. Rather than think AF for life why not try AF one day at a time and feel the difference of waking up bright eyed and healthy. Making the first step is great and you should be proud of yourself for recognizing that your heart is not completely in it yet. It doesn?t matter how many times you slip as long as you never give up.

          :goodjob:

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            #6
            Starting again

            Morning Guys, Thanks for all the kind support. This is my first AF morning, managed to stay off the booze last night, feel indifferent but ok. Gonna get that blood test this morning, doctor said it should be ok as i am young enough (37) for things to be repaired (if need be). So one day at a time.
            I know what you mean Hippie about Hendrixsyndrome, I went through (and maybe still am) a period like that.

            Anyway off to doctors.

            Have a good day all and a big :thanks:

            Later xx

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