itouch

[Mackeral]

itouch

Well...As your buying !!

[hippie37]

itouch

I've been a bad bad boy and I deserved to to be punished!!

Nokia have a similar phone out in the UK. I wonder if apple managed to sort out the problem then with the on-board toaster though. I believe it was faulty last time I was reading about it.

APPLE FORCED TO RECALL iPHONE AFTER TOASTER FAULT

APPLE has been forced into an embarrassing recall of the entire first batch of its long awaited iPhone after users reported problems with its on-board toaster.



iPhone: Rubbish for toast
Carl Knutz, an early adopter of San Andreas, California, said his two-slot iPhone produced one raw slice of toast and one that was burnt to a cinder and inedible.

He said the problem was particularly frustrating as the iPhone?s built-in roasting oven and low fat grill ?worked a treat?.

Mr Knutz said: ?I was sold the iPhone as the perfect solution for satisfying all my breakfast time needs. I could read emails, surf the web, grill some bacon and do toast all at the same time with the one gadget. Well I can?t, the toast is rubbish.?

Despite the toaster glitch most users are reporting themselves delighted with the iPhone. Bobby Killitz, 23, a glasses wearer, also of San Andreas, said he had cooked an entire chicken dinner in his phone, and it had emailed him to tell him when it was ready.

Danny Kravitz, 25, the brother of a musician, said his phone had babysat his 11-month old daughter while he went to a bar and did not email him when she started crying as it knew it was nothing serious.

Even so Apple user forums are buzzing with complaints about the quality of iPhone toast and the company?s boffins are said to be working around the clock to sort the problem.

Steve Jobs has put up a personal video message on the Apple website apologising for the toaster glitch but reassuring users that it is a software issue that will be sorted soon.

Mr Jobs said: ?We updated the iPhone software after all our laptops overheated and blew up but that appears to have affected the element in the toaster. Or it maybe it just needs a new washer.?

Meanwhile it has emerged that all the first batch of iPhones have also been built without any microphones being installed. This was not discovered until all of them had been sent to the shops as no one had thought to use one to make a call.


APPLE TIGHTENS GRIP WITH LAUNCH OF iTOLD

APPLE is to tighten its grip on 21st Century society this week with the launch of iTold, a new software application which will seize control of every aspect of your life.


Kneel before Jobs
The computer giant is concerned that many people buying its products, especially the recently launched iPhone, regard them as their own private property and not an actual physical extension of the body of Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

It is particularly annoyed that many iPhone owners have been using them for their own ends instead of using them to tell the world that Jobs is a genius or possibly the son of God.

Mr Jobs said: ?I didn?t create a huge company peddling all sorts of over-engineered crap so that people could buy it off me with their own money and then think it was their's to do with as they pleased.

?You might think that handing over your cash for one of my products gives you ownership rights. Wrong. Once you buy one of my products I own you and you are my bitch. So bend over and shut the fuck up while I update your ass with my hard-drive, you cocksuckers.?

Ted Knutz, iTold developer, said: ?The iTold will download automatically onto all Apple appliances and gives Steve Jobs the irrevocable right to take the virginity of the daughters of anyone who has purchased an Apple product in the last 30 years, and the sons as well if he wants, but obviously not at the same time as that would be disgusting.

?Once installed iTold will order all Apple users to give a tenth of their annual income to Jobs, either in money or in kind by working in his fields. It will also make them fight for Jobs should he declare war on any of his business rivals.

?We are not saying he will, but if he does and you don?t turn up ready to die for Apple then iTold will turn your iPhone into steaming lump of dog shit and make your MacBook download child porn until the police smash your door down and lock you up forever in a six-foot cell with a giant murdering arse rapist. That will be $99 please.?

[Hannah]

itouch

Well, Hippie, that outa sell a few.

[Guest]

itouch

Oh-oh..........

Hip, I think many here would agree that I am not easily offended. I can engage in a bit of innuendo as much as anyone else. Sometimes, having a laugh is all that can cheer us up as we struggle to keep the demon drink at bay. I very much believe in "giving as good as I get"........can`t bear to see males get the upper-hand, you see. :H

I have enjoyed many of your posts.......you are evidently well-read and have brought a bit of amusement to M.W.O.......good camaraderie. So saying, I personally suggest you rethink this latest post, hip. I so did not like it.........much of it is offensive, and I am one "thick-skinned" girl. Just my thoughts, as someone who "gelled" with you here. Sometimes I just have to speak my mind........

Starlight Impress x