Babies

[Monkeygirl]

Babies

Memarcie

I had my daughter when I was 36. I felt exactly like you, wasn't sure etc., but 11 years on I wouldn't change a thing. I also would not have been ready to have a baby any younger. 11 years on I wouldn't change a thing (even though she can be a cheekly little madam at times!)

Monkeygirl

[Guest]

Babies

A baby is life-changing in every respect, Marcie, regardless of your age on becoming a mother. But there is no doubt that the good far, far outweighs the bad.

Starlight Impress x

[wonderworld]

Babies

First - just to share my new avatar with you Memarcie - so appropriate for this thread in every way!
Second - And this is VERY personal, but I'm saying it anyway. Because of an illness I had when I was a kid, I was never able to have children of my own. And adopting has not called out to me (but if the universe ever puts a little one specifically in my path I will respond!). I would have given anything for the chance to have one of my own. So, I say go for it. I think you'll be a great Mom. That's just my humble opinion. But you and your husband will make the decision that's right for you.

[sammys]

Babies

Hey Memarcie whatever you decide I am behind you 100%.


Keep us posted on this,

Sammys

[ratana]

Babies

I agree, this is something you and your husband need to have a serious discussion about, and soon. My husband and I had the discussion on my 37th birthday, after we had been married thirteen years. I have never wanted to be a mom, but felt that if it was important to him I was sure I could do a good job. Well, it was not important to him, he got a vasectomy and we are very happy. But this is an intensely personal decision and only you can make it and you need to make it pretty darn soon.

As to the drinking, well, we know we can't be drunk mommies. What if the house catches fire and we're passed out? What if our kid is at baseball practice and hurts himself and we need to meet him at the hospital after we're into our second bottle of wine? I was walking home from the gym the other night and there were two teenage girls ahead of me. One was, of course, on her cell phone to another friend. As I passed her, I heard her say, "Oh my god, guess what? My mom is totally dry now. No, dry like in no booze! Isn't that WEIRD????" Can you imagine the humiliation? The reputation of being the drunk mom? It makes me shudder.

[lorisunshine]

Babies

Hi there Memarcie,
I never wanted any kids because everytime I looked into a buggie, they started to howl, so I decided I must be an ogre to children.

By age 32 I all of a sudden felt this overwhelming urge to become a mother. There was no trigger, rhyme or reason for how I felt. When I was 33 I had our one and only gem of a daughter. She has also become my best friend.
It was the hardest and the most rewarding job of my entire life. There is nothing as satisfying as to see that little being become a person one day at a time. Every bit of progress becomes a gargantuan success.
No regrets here. I love my daughter with all my heart.

The decision must be entirely yours and your husbands. We can only share our experience.

Good luck to you.
Lori

[lorisunshine]

Babies

ww - stop picking your nose.

[memarcie]

Babies

Thanks so much for all the responses. Hubby and I have talked a bit about this, but we need to have a more in depth conversation about it. A year ago I was considering getting fixed or him getting fixed so I didn't have to worry about the pill anymore. I can't really explain the change of heart and not 100% sure I really want to do this yet.

:l
Marcie

[wonderworld]

Babies

lorisunshine;233079 wrote: ww - stop picking your nose.

no

[lorisunshine]

Babies

ww - don't be insolent

[wonderworld]

Babies

lori don't boss me

[vino_grrl]

Babies

Marcie .... I have two thoughts to share with you on this (as both a very committed mom and as a person working very hard to get her own drinking under control ... something my own mom never quite managed to do). First, you say: "I haven't been doing the best with drinking lately ...." Until you have it 100% under control, you shouldn't even be thinking about having a child. Really. I can tell you with absolute certainty: the thing that drives you to drink doesn't go away just because you have a little one dependent upon you (or growing in you). Indeed, the stresses a little one creates (incessant crying and demands on your time when they're smaller, etc. ...) often exacerbate your need for a drink. (Don't get me worng ... there's lots of lovely stuff about being a mommy too!) So figure out how to get your situation absolutely under control ... with topa or whatever .. before taking that step. Trying to do it after you're a mom is infinitely harder. Second: only do it if YOU very badly want a child. Not because hubby thinks you should. Or because society thinks you should. Or because you'd like to but deep down, you know you're not really in a position to do so because you can't control your drinking. You're right. It isn't a choice you can undo. And bringing an innocent kid into a problem drinking house isn't a particuarly great thing to do. For the mom, or for the kid.

[KateH1]

Babies

Hi Marcie,
As the mother of three grown children and two wee grandaughters, I must say, motherhood is the most serious job you will ever undertake. Having a child is not a decision to be made on a whim or a yearning, but rather the decision to become a parent should be taken very seriously. Should you choose to become a mother, it will be the most important job of your life.

I have three grown children, all are terrific people. The two oldest, I had in my mid 20's and the third one at age 31. I loved being a mom and fortunately I did not begin my drinking until their late teens and even then it was a rare occassion when I drank. For that I am grateful.

Having children can be the most fulfilling experience of ones life, it can also be the toughest. I strongly believe that we are greatly responsible for how our children turn out.

I wish you much love and support in making this decision. 35 is not at all old to become a mom, give yourself and your husband all the time you need to make the right decision.

Best,
Kate H

[Niblet]

Babies

Hi Marcie,
Wow !!! I really think that you are so wise to get your drinking totally under control for sure... Growing a healthy child takes total commitment... I'm really happy to hear that you are 35, and not say 43 or something... Remember Folic acid prior to conception... Very important for fetal developement.... Read lots and be sure... I wish you and yours all the best Hon.

[Guest]

Babies

Only you and your husband can decide but I can tell you the true loves of my life are my two children. My life would literally not be worth living and I wouldn't have made it through times had I not had my sweeties. But, like you said once they are here they are here forever. You are never READY for a baby...yes, planning can be done...but, when they get here....get ready for the fun!!!!

PS...yes Lucky not alllowed to comment...LOL