Babies

[memarcie]

I never thought I'd have children. Hubby and I both agreed on it when we got married 9 years ago.

But, we've been tossing the idea around that we should become parents. It scares the hell out of me and then again it doesnt. I haven't been doing the best with drinking lately and he wants it to be under control before I get preggo(which I agree). Any comments? I'm 35 and doin't know about having a baby at my age. I think I would like one, but it's a decision I can't go back on.

[lucky 2.0]

Babies

oh man, i think i was the wrong person to read this and comment!

[memarcie]

Babies

I agree Lucky
you are in the same place I've always been.

[Finding Me]

Babies

Marcie,

That is one of those questions that only you and your hubby can answer!

Comments: Me, I love being a Mom! It is the best job in the world and at times trying and scary. Now I also have a sister my same age (we are early 40's) who never wanted kids and is happily married and doesn't regret not having them.

[Cashregister]

Babies

35 is a fine age to have a baby. I had Sophie at 30. I was like you - didn't know - but wouldn't change a thing now. It's a life changer, and a big one at that, and it wont fix any of your problems, but it is so worth it!
We tossed round the idea but only for a little while - we could've kept tossing forever really (sounds good!)- we are really close and didn't know if we wanted to "share" that with anyone.
But like I said, we have one lovely child (and only children are FINE!!!) and she really is a little bonus I never dreamed of having.
Go with your gut instinct i'd say. You know deep down what you want - go for it. Oh yeah and stop drinking before you start trying (if you are going to that is!).
And either way is fine, heaps of people don't have kids - most of my friends haven't (which makes our social lives a little duller than before - but that kinda doesn't hurt - what with drinking etc - and Sophie gets great presents for b'day and xmas from all the kidless couples!).
So there's one opinion from across the child divide, which is really to go with that instinct -cause that's all you can go on with this particular decision I reckon.
Good luck
Cashy

[Finding Me]

Babies

lol, I have two puppies...my kids are teens. One of my puppies (the white one) hit the button and it sent reply before I was ready. Puppies are almost like having babies!

Anyway....Haveing a baby at 25 or 35 there are pro's and con's to both., so take your time and the right decision will come to you!

----
Finding ME

[Cinders]

Babies

Wow, Marcie, you're gonna have to dig deep on this one.

Children are an incredible investment in time and effort. Your life is irrevocably changed once you have them.

They are an incredible joy and a lot of heartache.

The hardest "job" I EVER had was staying at home with my children when they were little and I do not say that lightly. Some days I thought I was going to go batty. (Wouldn't have traded it for the world, though.)

No one here can really advise you on this. You must decide on your own. Truly.

I can say that you are at a good age for having children because you are beyond worrying about worthless things and by now much more comfortable with what really matters in life. My husband wishes we had waited until we were older to have children because he feels we would have both been much better parents for it.

Good luck with your decision, sweetie. It truly is an important one.

Love,
Cindi

[memarcie]

Babies

Thanks for you input everyone. I know it is my decision. Just wanted to get impressions from others

[Finding Me]

Babies

It is always fun to practice just incase you decide to have one!

[Accountable for Me]

Babies

I was 33 when I had Hailey. I am 35 now.

I find having a baby at my age has been a hell of a lot more enjoyable than having one at 21 (my first born). I think women who wait until they are in the 30's are better off than the really young mom's. Just my opinion.

[shelbysmiles]

Babies

I agree 100% with Cindi.
Children are such a joy and a pain in the ass at the same time. I'd trade nothing for having my 2 yo's foot in my face in the morning!

Olivia

[magic]

Babies

I had my first child at 34, my second at 36.

They are now 18 and 15 and I am 52. I wouldn't have wanted them at 25, I don't think, not for me, but to be honest 36 was a bit late for me too.

I MUST add though, in between those births we adopted a newborn. So Sam was born 1 week after Andrew turned 3 and Maryanne had just turned 18 months. She is now 17.

I was tired then and I'm tired now but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

Your fertility is decreasing quickly (sorry) and you need to be sure.

A child is a glorious being.

Good luck in deciding.

magic xx

[maxman]

Babies

weve got 3 little gems' my wifes mum had a baby via ivf when she was 47 every thing went alright there. Kids are great fun good luck with whatever you decide

[Victory]

Babies

Dear One, follow your heart.

Dear One, follow your heart. No one can tell you what your heart can. If no children then!!? So wot? Your hubby will bear 10% of the load and you will bear the rest. He will not be pregnant and watching his body expand, [No a bit of extra fat is not the end of the world, and not the point but it is uncomfortable especially in the hot weather] sitting on his stitches post natal, or breast feeding, or riding the post pregnancy hormone ride or doing the primary caring in the first few weeks 24/7. I have two children 25 ? & 27. Yes it is joyful, hard work and we chose to do this. Could never have done it gracefully unless it was my choice. Repeat follow your heart. Don?t do this unless your heart says??YES?

:goodluck:

[beatle]

Babies

Hi MM, you should also examine carefully why you want children. Is it because you are getting older and worry that you'll regret not have children too late? Is it just a hormonal-inspired yearning? Do you really want all those years of responsibility, caring, giving, sacrificing (not to sound negative, you do get SO much back, and it's so much fun, too) or is it a whim kind of thing? Look at your friends, both with and without children, and ask yourself, do I want that kind of life?

You and your hubby should figure this part out first. If you agree on why you want a kid or kids and think your expectations are reasonable and reachable AND you have a gut feeling you want children, then you are all set.

I had children in my 30s and think that is a good age. You are so much more established in life and able to give more. On the other hand, young mothers may have more energy.

Anyway, my experience has been wonderful and even though I have had to sacrifice a lot, I am much more satisfied and fulfilled than I would have been without children, even though I know many people without kids who have great lives.

You get a different perspective on life when you have children. You learn about yourself, too, and your capacity to love and to give. AND-- they keep you young (even if they wear you down!).

Good luck MM on this most important decision of your life.