Apologies and Shame

[morrison]

I want to say I'm sorry for being a freak lately. I am so ashamed. I'm so completely ashamed to ever show my face anywhere. These past few days has been the worst in a while. I put so much booze in my system. I'm talking a lot. I took out 2 garbage bags of bottles. I don't even know how my body can handle it. Do you know the level of shame I'm talking about? This is the worst. I'm not looking for mercy on this one, because I don't deserve it. I truly care about all of you. You've been so nice to me, and I don't even deserve it, because I'm an ass. I'd cry if I could. Please forgive me.

[ratana]

Apologies and Shame

Morr, we all forgive you, that's why we are all here but you need to forgive yourself- and let go of the booze. It sounds like it is time to check into detox. Please help yourself soon, before you kill the goodness in your soul.

[lorisunshine]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison, we love you and you are the only one that can forgive yourself.
Love yourself a little more and perhaps detox would be a good idea. You are the judge of that. Talk to us.
Hugs Lori

[morrison]

Apologies and Shame

Hello ratana. Thanks for the kind words. What's up with the otter? It made me smile.

[Cinders]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison,

Please read the responses to your "Let's talk dumb stuff" thread.

So many of us really love you. :l stuff. (I know you guys hate the gooey stuff but heck, I AM a girl.)

It really is time for you to check into rehab, Morrison.

I did it. It hurt my career, it took guts, it was scary. I had to be humble (really tough for me!!) and I know I am smart and different and all that but I had to. I had to lock myself away from work, from family, and mostly from myself.

Please consider it. It changed my life for so much the better.

Cindi

[ratana]

Apologies and Shame

Otters make everyone smile (except for fisherman, but oh well.) Try this for a smile:

[ame=

]YouTube - Otters holding hands[/ame]

[trixietrack]

Apologies and Shame

So glad you replied. I was really concerned when I saw your post last night.
you are already causing yourself enormous pain by abusing your body with booze.

All I can say is be well. sending you hugs and strength

oh do keep us posted please.

Trix

[betty boop]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison, I was worried about you last night, but I just want to say don't ever feel that you can't post honest stuff like that, deep down you knew how bad you were .........

Get some help, Please ........... My bags are packed ready to come and sort you out if you dont .......... and I'm a really huggy person



Love & Hugs, BB xx Attached files [img]/converted_files/378957=2695-attachment.jpg[/img]

[hart]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison u knucklehead. We've all been where u are. Heck, if I apologized everytime I drank too much, well there wouldn't be any other posts that could get in! So, lick your wounds and start AF day 1. I'm only on AF day 2. We do like u, and you are always welcome with open arms. No one is ashamed of you but yourself. So let it go and move on hon. :l

[sammys]

Apologies and Shame

Hey we are here for you and don't you forget that. Keep posting and try try try OK

Sammys

[Saint Jude]

Apologies and Shame

Oh Damn Morrison. Been there more times than I'd like to admit OR remember...
Jump back on that horse! We're always the hardest on ourselves.

Every day we get to start over again fresh! Make this one a great one!:h
Hang in there...it'll get better soon.
:l

[morrison]

Apologies and Shame

Hey freinds. Thanks for the words. I had to whack down a 6 pack of Mike's hard lemonade befrore work. I just snuck out and went home right now. I thought I heard some things, and I think they know who I am. I got a 6 of Harp. I can' quit cold turkey after this binge. I had a really messed up experience this morning. Did you ever have one of those instances, where you really feel like your soul is leaving your body? I know it is because I haven't taken care of myself. Regardless, it was fucking scary as hell. As hell. I am going to quit. I did 8 days, and got blasted this weekend intentionally, and I'm paying a lofty price. I'm glad you are all here for me. Yes, I'm pretty messed up. This program is not a failure. Trust me. Had I not had support, I would be dead. There is no doubt in my mind that I would be dead. I'm getting there. I'm getting better, as hard that is to believe. Detox? Rehab? You'd have to know me to realize that isn't going to happen. I could get into my life and why I'm stubborn. I only talk to the shrink about that for now. Yep, there I go rambling again. Uggg. I'm so stupid. Can't wait until I'm sober again. I just can't quit after this binge. My mind is racing like crazy. I only slept about 20 hours in 2 weeks. I've been taking my meds for the most part too. I did miss about 5 days though. I wonder if that is what messes me up. Duh. Probably. All right. I'm outta here. I love you all.

[Determinatrix]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison,
I understand not being able to go cold turkey.
Is you shrink a psychiatrist or psycologist?
The reason I ask is the former can prescribe meds and you maybe able to get some librium which wil help with the DT's.
Also see of you can get some sleep medicine.
Glad you are back with us.
Dx

[bloggy]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison

Take care, we are all thinking of you.

It will get better and the guilt/shame will fade, but we have to stop repeating this over and over. Not just you, many of us.

M x

[PJ]

Apologies and Shame

Morrison. How are you feeling today? Do you have supplements and water?

After such a binge, your body is likely struggling to flush all the residual toxins out. Aside from the physical symptoms, all that leftover crap in your system will wreak havoc on your thoughts and moods. Best to at least do a home detox with supplements, water, and electrolytes asap, if you don't decides to go the medical route.