Isolation within ,feeling without..

[Theme2be]

Hi ,

I still feel unsure of how to do this and I awoke very frustrated.
I started the Kudzo yesterday. I guzzled my typical bottle of wine at the days in, quckly and then fall asleep.
I woke up feeling discouraged, wondering if this, like everything else is not going to work and what is the use.
After working and making some money , I will order the kit. I would like to make it without the topamax for I don't have insurance. Any words on ordering it online?
I want it to just go away, that nagging ~ "get a drink" voice.
Tired of it.
Also, how do you find your threads and the replies?
Kinda confusing.
Arg....
Need you as friends, as mentioned, I am an i s o l a t or and I want to come out from the dark and get back into art and music and life amongs the living.
K

[Saint Jude]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

:welcome: Hi Melsdaughter! Welcome aboard! Just keep reading & posting, you'll get a feel for how this works... I'm not very "puter" savvy myself or I'd offer more advise on that aspect of it.
This is a wonderful place, with some great folks & lots of support. Looking forward to getting to know ya!:l
Judie

PS I find that L-Glutamine is really helpful for cravings. You can get it at any health food store. Topa has been a life saver for me too. I've been @ 100mg for about 2 yrs now.

[Cinders]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

Mel's,

Honey, absolutely none of this "works," it just makes it easier. You have to work it.

I wish there was a silver bullet and a really easy way but there isn't.

The voice won't leave, it will be there. We call "it" Al, the Beast, cravings, all kinds of nasty things but we can and do beat it down. Lots of us. Because we KNOW that if we don't we will stay in that dark, lonely place you are now in.

The supps help, the topa helps some, campral others, etc, but at the end of the day, the voice will still be there and you must be ready and willing to say "hell no" back at it.

We will be here to help you do that. You can do that. We have all done it.

Come on line when it gets rough. Chat room helps. The cravings are bad at first and then they start getting easier and easier. One of our guys (Chief) says to treat it like it is the flu, a necessary evil. By the end of a week you are doin' pretty good and by the end of 10 days you are rockin' and rollin', but no kidding, the voice is still there, just not quite as insistent and not quite as strong because the voice knows you have been beating him back and it hasn't hurt you at all.

Also, depending on how much you have been drinking every day, alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. If you stop abruptly and start shaking, having horrible sweats, can't speak correctly, etc, GET TO AN ER and let them know what is going on. Or better yet, go to a doctor before you start and have them give you some Librium to get through withdrawal. Librium is very cheap. Just know that if you take Librium and drink, you can die, so it is not to be trifled with.

Trust, me though, the difficult first few days are so worth it. One day at a time and before you know it you will have significant time under your belt and you will be amazed at how much better you start feeling.

Best of luck and keep on posting,
Cindi

[betty boop]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

Melsdaughter, :welcome: to MWO ..........

I feel that it all works if you work with it, and if you truly want to do it then with the help of MWO you really can.

Keep reading and posting here, there are hundreds of people here to help ......

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[morrison]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

mels. Yes. Post. Please. Use the PM function. We are here. Don't look back. The past is just that. Okay, I stole that line from a song. But, it is real. Hang in there.

[Theme2be]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

In my cave.

I thank you. This feels so hard. But, this is wonderful to have found this spot to come to.
Thank You so much.
I just took a noon dose of Kuzdo,Sam-e and Evening Prim Rose. I am feeling real drawn to the Topo, though, I need something with power. Do you have to go to a Dr?

Also, had a shot of red wine and I work in two hours, but, I felt like I had to have a jolt of what feels like some manner of peace to my being.
I know this has to start within me and I want this so. Wonder what it would feel like to feel alive again and active, instead of an animal in her cave. And there is shame at having this "secret". But, My glory when I read your words I find kindship and this gives me hope because sometimes I feel so in dispair and I know I am redundant with this ~but, so lonely.
Not self pity, just trying to embrace how I feel and am in a REAL way.
Bless you all,
K

[Niblet]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

Welcome Mels, We all are or have been right where you are right now...
A craving cannot hurt you, let it happen... Come here, posts lots and keep touch with us... we all care and will not judge you. As you get more and more hours under your belt AF (alcohol free), you are closer to a whole day AF, then 2 days.. I wish you alot of luck, and don't be afraid to ask questions... someone compassionate will be there for you...

[Theme2be]

Isolation within ,feeling without..

Thank You , Niblet.
I really like what you said about a craving can't hurt me.
The support is wonderful. I still can't figure out how to find "posts" and "threads" from before?
I am doing alot of research, thought and it makes me come out of hiding a bit and that mean some light hits me.
Tough day, yesterday. Real depressed and feared the Kudzo, Sam-e and Evening primrose were responsible. Got real discouraged.
But, today is, truly a new day .
Promise on the horizon,
Karen