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    #31
    Infatuation

    As I've probably said a million times before, I don't post much, but I do read every day if I can. Every so often, in my humble opinion and experience, one of our family goes a wee bit off the rails and things don't go so well for everyone concerned. Morrison, I hope you can turn things around for yourself and it might not feel like this at the moment, but Barbie does care, as we all do, sorry if that sounds trite and mushy! I have been a member of these boards for a long, long, long time and seen many fall outs and, thankfully, many makings up. Let's remember why we are all still here, and why Irish Lady's "Swimming Pool" thread lives on and continues to help and support us, which is what we should all be doing (and I am sure we do). Much love to everyone tonight who is trying to find their "way out". I'm still not anywhere near the exit yet, but I feel with the support and advice I find here, I am getting a bit nearer.
    J

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      #32
      Infatuation

      my lovely beatle, i would sincerely hope that you would know me well enough by now simply by experience and we've had a few including by phone... there is a great deal of subtext to this thread that is under the text. i pmd you but your box is full. i am not outing him as he has been on the 30 day luv thread outing himself for months with us. i've been his friend for months. it is hard for me to hear him the same day he posted this thread also say on another two threads cry for help saying that he took two garbage bags full of bottles out full of empty booze bottles and using drugs after only 3 days, he's at his end, he's not on his meds for bipolar and hasn't been for a long time, etc.... he's binging... for months... morning noon and nite. he had to down bottles of booze because he had the shakes, just to function at work in the morning... right morrison? then after that you post this. no, it is hard for me as someone who has loved and walked this path with my lovely morrison, hard for me to watch you kill yourself but not take action to stop it.. doctor, rehab, supplements, rjs book, anything.... this isn't moderation this is death. at this point, if i do anything further i am simply enabling you my dove, morrison, you have to help yourself. so yes, trixie, wouldn't be a first time that a thread started in one fashion and turned to something else. so, beatle if you can know one thing about me, know this. i'm really a very loving caring person and i will go beyond and even give my number to people here to have them call me, address to, and even send them whatever i can at no charge to them. you've experienced at least some of my generosity when you were in your depths. but what i can't do is i'm guilty of this with my beloved morrison as i've done everything.... i can't do anymore. i simply have to walk away. because now, you are simply going to need to find your way... and here is when you know you are hitting bottom if you don't die first. it is when that shovel has hit bottom. bear said it so real. he said i know i have another drunk in me. what i don't know is if i have another sober. and that is so profound it is beyond comprehension. and my beloved, morrison, you get under my skin because i love you. we are alike because we both have a challange with alcohol only i'm checking into rehab and i'm no where near what you are doing to yourself not anywhere close nada zip (2 days a week is not close darling). the only other similar aspect i can see is that i have loved you through all of your trials when you could not love yourself.. but that isn't a commonality. because you don't love you. well, come back when you do.
      :welcome:

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        #33
        Infatuation

        My husband saw me from across a room at a party and (without having even spoken to me) looked at the friend he was with and told him he wanted to marry me, he did. That was 20 years ago, we have two teenage sons, and yes, we're still together!

        Follow your heart, you only live once......this is NOT a dress rehearsal : )
        Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
        - George Jackson

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          #34
          Infatuation

          That's awesome MyHeart. My hubby did something similar, I used to work with him and the first day he saw me at work he told one of his co-workers that he would marry me someday(I was only 16 at the time). Well 7 years later we got married.

          Almost 10 years now and going strong.
          Marcie

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            #35
            Infatuation

            Dear Boots, thank you for the explanation. Sorry my mailbox was full (it's so hard to throw out old messages!), I cleaned it out a little now.

            I certainly did not mean to imply you are/were anything but caring. I don't think there is a single member here who questions that. And, yes, you have helped me through a tough time, and I have also learned so very much from your responses to others.

            "Tough Love"-- I think I need to start a new thread on tough love. My question was sincere. I have been on the recieving end of so-called tough love, and for me, it was devastating (still is). But that was (and still is) a very different circumstance as I had already stopped drinking completely and was reaching out for help in my healing process and was rejected by somebody very close to me in the name of "tough love" because they wanted me to go about healing in a different way-- AA, the 12 steps, etc. They hoped to push me into it with "tough love". For me it was a matter of personal choice being shoved down my throat-- I was already completely sober and had found MWO, as well as started seeing a therapist. That was the way I wanted to deal with my problem, and it still is.

            As for Morrison (oh yeah, this was your thread, wasn't it, dear Morrison?), it's really none of my business. I truly was surprised at your response to Morrison and truly wondered if it was a "tough love" approach. But, of couse, I'm sure you are doing all the caring and helping your sweet soul can muster, no question there. I really have to stop rambling. I do think I'll start another thread on this, though.

            And I truly do think Morrison has a right to ask about infatuation, no matter how messed up he is. (though I do now understand why you reacted the way you did.-- heck, I'm just in such an understanding mood today...=-)
            Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

            Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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              #36
              Infatuation

              Tough love does no good whatsoever, if the recipient/victim is not ready to hear the message. It will either alienate him/her, or drive him/her further underground. This "listen up Buster" approach may well work with children who have misbehaved, and need a strong parental directive---in fact, parents who DON'T employ this technique are pretty weenie parents! Kids need to be scared a little, offered dire consequences, and monitored to make sure they got the "hint." But it's different when dealing with spouses, peers, adult siblings, or strangers met on a website like this one. Rough talk won't do a thing except make enemies.
              Jane Jane

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                #37
                Infatuation

                I don't think Bootsie's approach is tough love!!!! Morrison, just like every single one of us fights daily, she and he had a special bond...NOT SEXUAL...a FRIENDSHIP....she feels she can share her REAL thoughts with him. This is one thread. We have all been on the 30 day thread for months...daily...supporting each other. All she was trying to say to Morrison was he needs to heal him. We all just want to see him better. We love Morrison deeply, but he needs a few AF weeks under his belt before trying to worry about a damn woman. My God, it is enough to worry about yourself. Do you realize how stressful dating is??? I came here, lonely as hell, drunk as hell, and sick of life too. This is just my side from speaking to both of these two people almost daily now for 8 months. Morrison can post what he wants, but so can Bootsie.

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                  #38
                  Infatuation

                  And so can Jane Jane.
                  Jane Jane

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