Alcohol and Perimenopause

[Saint Jude]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Thanks Bootsi! I've never heard of the thymus. I'll give it a try.

I used to have complete strangers complement me on my "lovely locks"...don't think that's ever gonna happen again.
It looks like scarecrow hair!:upset: (On a good day!)

I know it's just hair.... but i miss it.

[Victory]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Booze Flip switch for ladies of a certain age

I reckon the booze flip switch for peri menopausal women is anger. Oestrogen is also known as the contented cow hormone as we age we do make less and then the testosterone kicks in, any one for extra chin bristles? Have spent my life being a placater now am a tick-tick Boom woman and proud of it. Personal indicator is stomach drums, when I hear the stomach drums then know someone is attempting to treat me like sh*t hence the tick-tick Boom. Family members all complaining wots the matter with you? You?ve changed. Yep, changed and no more sh*t from you thank you very much. Cannot believe the hoops I jumped through to pour oil on troubled waters. Have noticed this in other women my age and we all agree. Most women particularly mothers spend most of their time playing servant to family members. And hey it is OK to say NO the sky won?t fall down, just took me 45 years to find that one out. Cannot believe how society conditions women to be suppress anger. She?s a bitch, He?s assertive?????????? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh
Tick Tick Tick Tick

[Suzanna]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Victory, I hear where you are coming from, and it's okay to say no and it's okay to not placate or do everything, or anything that we don't want to. But I don't believe in lashing out in anger, I think if we change the rules, if we step back and stop being responsible for everything, and just say, no i'm not going to make dinner tonight, then others will have to step up to the plate. I don't want to live in attack mode. I see my mom or others being bitter and nasty, and its not something I want to be around, or something I want to become. You don't have to shout to be heard, is all I'm saying. Come from a position of power, that it's okay to not do stuff.

[Finding My Self]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Victory - so right!! And no Idon't want to let anger out now but just allow it to disolve....having let me know that I'm allowing myself to be pushed around. Or rushed. Or jsut that something needs my attention... and No is a good word....so is Yes....just, 'I don't mind' has got to go out of the window for me!!

Testosterone levels unbalanced by oestogen can make us more aggressive...and booze causes acting out....many times. I can keep pretty balanced without the booze....hopefully!

Yes! I know the stomach drums 'Listen to me'! It's only when I don't things go wrong so now I need to not rush and give myself the time to think....

Drums -> booze definitely in the 'old days'!!!

[Victory]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Booze Flip switch for ladies of a certain age

Hi ya Suzanna, of course a big No to living in attack mode but when saying no politely 3 times or more doesn?t work then its OK to ask which part of no 3 times didn?t you get? Which some may interpret as being a bitch rather than assertive. My point is women repress anger then turn it on themselves. A number of theories proffer that depression is anger turned inwards. Some women spend two or more decades placing family needs before their own and then hit the bottle because anger feelings in a woman are supposedly sooooo unacceptable. So some of us anesthetise those socially unacceptable feelings which appears to oincide with the booze flip switch at a certain age. Is this a mere coincidence?

[Suzanna]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Hi Victory, I knew I had to come back to this thread! We do spend two plus decades trying to do it all, I think our generation of women were taught, okay you want to be equal, guess what, you get to do it all,work and home and kids of course all while looking sexy and beautiful, and you should reach this perfection, and you become amazing wonder women, or try to, but it's an ideal that is impossible!! So we all of course fall short and then feel inadequate, and maybe we reach for the wine and say f**k it.

There is a joke about the uterus as being a homing device, that we women are supposed to know where everything is at all times. I love saying, I don't know, and let it go at that. First few times the look on hubby's face is like, what?? That's it, you are no help and are not responsible for everything in the universe?? I just stand back quiet and let him figure it out. Maybe passive aggressive or unhealthy, but it makes me feel better!

[jane jane]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Passive aggression is better than no aggression at all, sez Jane. Whatever works. If I were to teach a class to young women, the first lesson would be "don't try to do it all!" Because I was "born tired and raised lazy," as my grandfather put it, I have always been rather a genius at getting out of doing too much unpleasant stuff, delegating it, hiring it out, or simply NOT doing it. The trick is to do only what you want to do, and enjoy doing, and making it look like so much work that no one could possibly expect you to do the rest of the (boring) stuff.

When the Janelings were babies, it would never in a million years have occurred to me to try and "have a career" at the same time. For one thing, full-time nannies stopped existing, and for another, I'd no more have stuck my darlings in daycare than I'd have fed them to sharks! Luckily they were good little girlies, so life was pretty easy. I used to kind of mess my hair up and scatter toys around and try to look worn out and flustered, so that Mr. Jane would think I'd really worked like a slave all day. It got harder when they got older, and didn't need me at home...I had to revise my argument to "well, studies show that teens need a mom at home more than toddlers do!"

[trixietrack]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Victory;237306 wrote: Hi ya Suzanna, of course a big No to living in attack mode but when saying no politely 3 times or more doesn?t work then its OK to ask which part of no 3 times didn?t you get? Which some may interpret as being a bitch rather than assertive. My point is women repress anger then turn it on themselves. A number of theories proffer that depression is anger turned inwards. Some women spend two or more decades placing family needs before their own and then hit the bottle because anger feelings in a woman are supposedly sooooo unacceptable. So some of us anesthetise those socially unacceptable feelings which appears to oincide with the booze flip switch at a certain age. Is this a mere coincidence?

I must be an alien or something because I have been working my entire life on taking it easy.
I get angry easily and don't hesitate to vent my anger which always gets me in all sorts of trouble, but it also deters people from messing with me.
could repressing anger have something to do with having babies? I have none.

[beatle]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

jj-- you crack me up. messing up your hair! too much! But the lesson "don't try do it all" is a good one.

And trixie, venting anger, well I think it's mostly good. And really good that people don't mess with you. I wouldn't either.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Victory, I really like you : )

[Victory]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Thank you myheart, was afraid of posting these thoughts. Not comfortable with anger feelings and unfortunately the first drink does help to dull them. trixietrack well done, part of my low self esteem meant saying, “Yes to everything and playing servant to surly teenagers” til I dropped. Jane jane yes to teaching a class to young women. My message for them would be: One day you may have a family with gorgeous children of your own, pleasing them will be your greatest pleasure, seeing their sweet faces light up when you make the cake you were too tired to make, get woken up at 11pm to wash the sports uniform that has been stinking up the school bag for a whole week that is needed for tomorrow, spend all your spare time planning nice treats for them and the list goes on……………But please do not teach your gorgeous children that you are the endless giver. Or you may end up with an empty tank, be abused because you are too tired to jump through hoops, become resentful and God forbid turn to the bottle.

[go2goal]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Everyone in this thread - I have been searching for this discussion and finally just happened on it. Hormones, alcohol, menopause, symptoms, & HRT - maybe another thread with that title would be useful......

Bootcamp, I am fascinated with your testing and research. I am also reading, but the new 'alternative" female Doc in new "midlife center" told me Northrup should not be only source - she wasn't supportive of her book. I am curious for the title of the other you mentioned by the CA female doc. I may PM you if ok. I was SO disappointed in my midlife appt - thought my appointment would be discussion of testing, possibilities, but was told no need for testing because no 'normal values' to compare - we are all different so no 'bar' to reach for with supplements/hormones. Well, at least, there was time spent reviewing history and info giving about Menopause & HRT, but it didn't seem to matter in the end. After my exam, I was given samples of a low dose estrogen patch and a prescription for more. After a time on that, they will add a natural progesterone. This is how she is doing bio-identical - she says there are many 'natural' or bio-identical hormones already on market. She is down on the typical Prempro & combo HRT, but what you describe is the thorough kind of review i am interested in.

All this to ask for a few more titles you have found helpful. I am 52, no periods for 3 years, so done - finito, but thinking I can improve a few minor complaints. looking for resources and discussion on this. Anyone interested, please PM me - maybe a Chat appointment after the holidays...

Go2Goal

[jane jane]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

I think it is definitely time to split this thread into two, and I see that some of us are more concerned with biochemical issues, and some are musing more about the psychological shifts as we enter the middle years. Not that the two aren't intertwined!

And I'd like to read more posts from men who face the "change"---whether in their own life, or that of their long-term spouses. I accuse Mr. Jane of being in the throes of "man-o-pause," because he's the one with night sweats these days!

[trixietrack]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

beatle;239377 wrote: jj-- you crack me up. messing up your hair! too much! But the lesson "don't try do it all" is a good one.

And trixie, venting anger, well I think it's mostly good. And really good that people don't mess with you. I wouldn't either.

I truly would rather hug.

[trixietrack]

Alcohol and Perimenopause

Victory;239564 wrote: Thank you myheart, was afraid of posting these thoughts. Not comfortable with anger feelings and unfortunately the first drink does help to dull them. trixietrack well done, part of my low self esteem meant saying, ?Yes to everything and playing servant to surly teenagers? til I dropped. Jane jane yes to teaching a class to young women. My message for them would be: One day you may have a family with gorgeous children of your own, pleasing them will be your greatest pleasure, seeing their sweet faces light up when you make the cake you were too tired to make, get woken up at 11pm to wash the sports uniform that has been stinking up the school bag for a whole week that is needed for tomorrow, spend all your spare time planning nice treats for them and the list goes on?????But please do not teach your gorgeous children that you are the endless giver. Or you may end up with an empty tank, be abused because you are too tired to jump through hoops, become resentful and God forbid turn to the bottle.

well said victory