Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Problems and solutions

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Problems and solutions

    This has be gnawing at me today.

    I once had a man tell me that alcohol wasn't my prooblem, it was my solution. I thinkn he was dead-on correct. I think the reason I'm slow to get sobver or am a chronic relapser is because my problems are still alll right there staring me in the face once I'm sober. I don't begine to know how to solve some off these problems. I've been in therapy all of my adult like, so no need to suggest that.

    I'm curious what others think or this man's statement. Do you agree it's true for you? Any suggestions for how to cope once I am sober?

    (I hope it's appropriatre to post such a tqhing here.)
    Tags: None
    #2
    Problems and solutions

    Alcohol is never a solution.........all alcohol does is add insult to injury. The problem is that too many of us have fooled ourselves into believing that alcohol can cure all ills, whereas it can change nothing whatsoever.

    Starlight Impress x

    Comment

      #3
      Problems and solutions

      Wow, this is why I love the fact that this site is ANONYMOUS.

      I think that having "issues" is not a requirement for admission to the Alcoholic Sisterhood. I think this is what kept me from acknowledging my real problem for a looooong time: I admit, I had a happy, privileged childhood, never wanted for anything, went to a fancy pricy college, married a man who makes a lot of money, have two beautiful perfect (welll...) daughters, and life is lovely, la la la. SO WHY DO I LIKE TO GET BLOTTO regularly?

      I do have a minor career---I write and edit magazine articles. But that doesn't fill up nearly enough of the 24 hours, 7 days weekly. I am bored. And when I'm bored, lovely wine beckons seductively...
      Jane Jane

      Comment

        #4
        Problems and solutions

        More2, thanks for reply. I also can't jettison the feeling that something is "missing" when I decline to drink. Yes, my speech is clear, my brain is sharp, all systems on "go"---and yet, there is an impatience about me when I'm sober, a feeling that this IS A BIG FAT BORE and I want the little giddy fillip that a cocktail provides.

        I know all the arguments against taking that fatal first sip. I could write the book, with footnotes, annotations, and a bibliography. But at the end of the day, it's...rather nice to have a glass. That, my friends, is why we keep posting here. We love our cold glasses...
        Jane Jane

        Comment

          #5
          Problems and solutions

          pinkpeppercorns;235850 wrote: This has be gnawing at me today.

          I once had a man tell me that alcohol wasn't my prooblem, it was my solution          . I thinkn he was dead-on correct. I think the reason I'm slow to get sobver or am a chronic relapser is because my problems are still alll right there staring me in the face once I'm sober. I don't begine to know how to solve some off these problems. I've been in therapy all of my adult like, so no need to suggest that.

          I'm curious what others think or this man's statement. Do you agree it's true for you? Any suggestions for how to cope once I am sober?

          (I hope it's appropriatre to post such a tqhing here.)
          Hey Pink! What kind of therapy are you in? I am on my third therapist and I am finally learning skills that actually will help me deal with life. The first two therapists were nice people who listened to me and empathized with me but didn't really teach me anything. The therapist I am seeing now is a cognitive therapist and actually teaches me skills that I can carry with me outside of sessions. These skills will stay with me so I can not only feel better but I can get better. Perhaps a different form of therapy would work for you?

          -lorelei
          Suddenly I see
          This is what I want to be
          suddenly I see
          Why the hell it means so much to me.

          -KT Tunstall

          Comment

            #6
            Problems and solutions

            "That, my friends, is why we keep posting here. We love our cold glasses..."
            Very true words Jane Jane, very true.

            Welcome Pink. I have been reading your posts and hope you are doing somewhat better. I think your typing is getting better so also hoping that's a good sign for you. Take Care.
            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

            Comment

              #7
              Problems and solutions

              alcohol does a convincing job of masquerading as our solution...at least that's how I've experienced it. We learn to rely on it as a coping skill even though it's a lousy and destructive skill...doesn't take much effort to just stop by the store and pick up a half gallon of "cure all" ...kind of funny looking back on that now. We really do need to replace alcohol with good constructive coping skills or we are indeed setting ourselves up for continued troubles.
              nosce te ipsum
              (Know Thyself)

              Comment

                #8
                Problems and solutions

                Pink,

                For many, many years alcohol was my solution. It was also my biggest problem.
                It stood in the way of my having any chance of even beginning to look at or face the "questions" of my life. I think it takes more than a few weeks or months of sobriety to be able to look at your problems with a healthy mind~ physically, spiritually and emotionally. You must be patient.

                Whether we come from a privileged life of education, love and sound relationships or a past of neglect, hurt and struggle I am of the opinion that all human beings have cracks in their souls that require repair. Life is not perfect. At least mine isn't/wasn't. And won't be.

                Boredom does not an alcoholic make.

                magic xx
                ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
                I am in the next seat.
                My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

                Comment

                  #9
                  Problems and solutions

                  I agree Magic. We become alcoholics for various reasons and for many people, like me, they just slip into it.

                  We all have issues, but they are not the CAUSE of our becoming alcholics, at least not in most cases. We use different excuses, boredom is one, a troubled past is another. Depression, abusive relationships..it's your pick... they are still excuses and not causes.

                  Alcohol provides a coping mechanism for everyone who drinks more than occasionally and moderately. After a while it becomes THE coping mechanism, and then it gets a hold of you and it becomes the meaning of life. I think quitting involves finding other coping mechanisms AND other meanings in life.

                  Alcolism also has a very strong physical dimension. Plenty of people are bored and don't become alcoholics. Plenty of people have terrible childhoods, abusive relationships, etc. and don't become alcoholics. So healing also involves healing our bodies, not just our minds or souls. This involves both the brain chemistry and the damage done physically.
                  Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                  Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Problems and solutions

                    Lorelei;235923 wrote: Hey Pink! What kind of therapy are you in? I am on my third therapist and I am finally learning skills that actually will help me deal with life. The first two therapists were nice people who listened to me and empathized with me but didn't really teach me anything. The therapist I am seeing now is a cognitive therapist and actually teaches me skills that I can carry with me outside of sessions. These skills will stay with me so I can not only feel better but I can get better. Perhaps a different form of therapy would work for you?

                    -lorelei
                    Hi Lorelei,

                    Woulld you mincd iff I rrespondd to thtis when my shakees hhavvee ccalmedd aamnd I can type bettter? I'm afraaieda I haaave a very llong answer and typping isn'tt easyy right now. I won't forget.

                    Thannks for yhoour notee!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Problems and solutions

                      Do you all; have posts umdder "My Stoory." I'd lovpovee to know more about you ffolks who are so wonderrfully kind and compasassionatae. I can rread much better than I cany type rright now, eevgen thoouggh I desperrately need glasses (whicch weill be herre tomorrrow!!!! I've gone 15 years with the smae glasses; I acttuually see better withut them thhan with them - heh)

                      Comment

                      Previous template Next
                      Working...
                      X