What will it be like back in the UK

[mike205]

Hello, I have a question for people living in the UK. I recently made the decision to move back to Yorkshire from Boston, Mass.

I have a real concern about this that is bugging me. I grew up in Yorkshire in a working class city. Boozing is the norm there. Until I get settled in I will be living with my parents. They are great folk but have drank their whole lives my father in relative moderation but my mother not so much. The pressure to go to the pub for a couple of pints with my dad will be hard to deal with. Also, my childhood friends are still in the same neighborhood we all grew up in. I think it's going to be very hard to deal with the ribbing about not drinking.

How did you deal with the pub culture and the peer pressure to drink? I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle this very well.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
mike

[Cinders]

What will it be like back in the UK

Mike,

I wish I could give you a good answer to this, but there is no easy one.

Okay, move to Salt Lake City, Utah and become an LDS. heh. sorry, not funny.

I understand where you are coming from. Whenever my family gets together there is lots of booze involved. LOTS.

So. I asked my parents to tell my family (okay, I am a chicken) that I am going through rehab and recovery. My family is all behind me. Until I come into town and don't want to drink, I bet.

But, here is the real deal. We can be with those we love (and I mean LOVE, I LOVE my family) and not drink. Satori can speak to this, Irish Lady can speak to this.

You MUST make your sobriety #1 in everything you do. Over family, over country, NOT OVER GOD because HE/SHE wants it for you (sorry had to add that), but PLEASE remember, you can sit at a bar, I do it all the time now, unfortunately to eat, and get diet coke, water, whatever, something NON-ALCOHOLIC and once the first order is placed, no questions are asked.

Capice?

Love and I truly know what you are worried about...
Cindi

[Going Strong]

What will it be like back in the UK

Yes, it's really hard to sit with everybody drinking and most times too much so then you see what drunks are really like!
I started off with a "white" lie. I was on medication that made me sick if I drank...........I did have health issues anyway. Then after a while no one hassled me, I acted like it didn't worry me and they followed suit.
After a few weeks when I still wasn't drinking someone asked me " Can you have a drink? " My reply was that I felt so much better not drinking that I have chosed not to drink anymore. I did mention that some people can't handle drink and maybe it's an allergy!! LOL
The difference is now is that I happy to be with people that are having a few drinks but if it seems like it's going to be a "session" I will make a excuse after a while and go and do something else.
That way I am not tempted as being sober with a bunch of drunks is BORING after a while.
You need to feel you are in control, that way you have your power to make your decisions for the good of you.
I hope I have made sense
Take care

[AMELIA]

What will it be like back in the UK

Hi Mike,

Well, I live in the Uk, but I am originally from New Zealand. Now I have to admit, that my levels of drinking have gotten out of control whilst I have been in the UK (I have been here for nearly 13 years though). However, in New Zealand before I left I was hiding bottles under beds etc there too.
New Zealand's drinking culture doesn't seem to be as prevalant as it is in the UK, but I do think that peer pressure is what you 'allow' it to be. Very recently I have been to some functions and been completely abstinent. I just said a plain old 'I'm not drinking'. No one queried at all and I had a great night. Going to the pub may be slightly different, but if you are feeling OK about being AF, when you communicate this to people (normally) they will pick up on your confidence and just accept it. If you have repeated 'trouble' with a group of friends or one person in particular 'badgering' you about your drinking, then that is the time to reassess your relationship with them and your relationship with your sobriety.
Which is most important to you? I know I may be making it sound rather simplistic, but it can be done.....xx

[vegan]

What will it be like back in the UK

Hi Mike,
I live in the UK. Yorkshire in fact. I totally understand your worries. The pub culture around here is unbelievable especially the working class areas. That is all the majority do to unwind, socialise etc...
I very rarely go into pubs nowadays. My drinking has always been at home anyway.
I think you just have to shift your mindset into thinking that it is only a pub. If you drink juice, sparkling water, AF beer at home then drink it in the pub. The only difference is the people around you will be drunk and you'll probably be a bit bored.
Tell your old friends that drinking bores you now. Tell them about your life in America and how it changed your outlook on life. They'll all be secretly jealous of your confidence and strength.
Whereabouts in Yorkshire will you be living? I'm in East Yorkshire.
Feel free to mail me anytime.
Charlotte xxxx