An apology

[Lucy Van Pelt]

The day before yesterday, I woke up and said "today is the day". I was chatting with someone about my fear of the dreaded 5pm hour, and she was kind enough to offer to come into chat at that hour and support me. She also encouraged me to ask for help from others...something I am not generally good at. And I did. I put out a thread asking for help from others. You guys are amazing. At 5pm on the nose, there were no less than 5 people on chat with me, cheering me on. However, I had already set myself up for disaster. At about 4:30, I thought about getting on chat in one half hour, and chatting for awhile, until my husband got home. I thought about how if I were to do that, I would have no chance to sneak out and get booze. The thought panicked me. So what did I do? I ran out at 4:30 and bought a half pint of rum..."just in case"...

I admitted what I had done when I got on chat, but, I am sitting here now, thinking of how amazing you guys were. So kind. And I am such a loser. I feel like I really let you all down, and of course myself as well. But you all came on out of a true desire to help me. Yet I did not do what I needed to do to help myself. What an idiot I am.

So, for those that were there, and everyone else who is so caring and thoughtful on this site. I am sorry. I feel like "the boy who cried wolf". Ugh

With remorse and love,

Beth

[AMELIA]

An apology

Beth, as you know, I wasn't one of the people in chat. I would have loved to have been, but I didn't see your thread in time.
You are being too hard on yourself Beth. Ok, so the thought of being chat might of made you feel kinda anxious? Or, you just convinced yourself that you may want some booze later. Beth, I have been there and done that. You were honest with the people who were with you in chat, so please don't beat yourself up. That is the last thing we need to do to ourselves.
Sending you good positive vibes. And ten points for honesty (although I still think you are being very hard on yourself)
xxxxx

[12many]

An apology

Woahhhhh, girl. Stop right there. I'm one of those who was in chat and who set ana larm to be there at 5:00. Later I checked in again and someone clued me in that you didn't make your goal. All we said was, lets try again tomorrow. That's it. No animosity. We'd most of us be hypocrites for getting down on someone for not getting through a tough night. Look at me, I post on a thread that is TITLED today is the day which I started on 10/24. I'm on AF day 4 right now. You're not goign to hear a peep out of me. LOL!

If you need people who turn their back on you after a failure, you're in the wrong place. We're with you for the long haul!!

What ever you do, quit running yourself down!! you know that won't lead to anything good
So, how about tonight? Let me know either way...

:l :l :l
d

[trixietrack]

An apology

jez bak. be nice to yourself. just think, you will keep trying and trying until it works.
big hug

Trix

[betty boop]

An apology

Beth, I hadn't seen your thread either, but had I been one of those people I wouldn't have turned my back either,

You have nothing to apologise for ........

BB xx

[Guest]

An apology

Beth,
Please do not offer an apology to anyone..........you didn`t do anything wrong. Sure, some of us joined you in chat at the appointed time to give you support.........there were no conditions attached to that support, as indeed there should never be here. You failed to abstain that night, despite having the best of intentions........it`s really no big deal, BECAUSE, had I ?1 for every night I promised myself and others that I wouldn`t drink and failed to live up to that promise.........I would be one very rich girl!!! :H

The fear of letting go of the drink can be all-consuming, beth.........it`s anything but easy and all that truly matters is that you keep trying. Love you. :l

Starlight Impress x

[hart]

An apology

Beth :b&d: okay I'm not whipping you for lapsing....Hell, I haven't made it past 4 days AF since June. But don't u dare run my friend down by saying she's a loser or an idiot! :durn:

[Cinders]

An apology

Absolutely NOT.

The losers are the ones who don't try or think about what they are doing.

The rest of us are on a journey...

Love,
Cindi

ps. btw, if I had been waiting for you, the only emotion I would've felt was worry about you, NOT blame.

Got it?

We truly care about each other.

[KateH1]

An apology

Beth,
You are so far from being a looser...eeee gads girlfriend! You are trying and you are working hard on getting the AF thing done, that is a fighter not a looser. Shoot, if we all had this thing licked in a few days or weeks, MWO would not exist and we would not need a program. I had 14 days AF, was feeling great about it.......but my old friend "Voddy" woooed me into a few and I am right back to square one....but way further ahead that I was at the end of August.

Beth, we are all here for each other. We will make it AF for life one day soon!

Love,
KateH

[Mags]

An apology

Beth

You forgot something very important. We all know you and support you and know how hard this is and how hard you are working at it. And oh yes, we are all your friends and we love you.

No apologies needed -ever....... :l

[memarcie]

An apology

(((Beth)))

You don't need to apologize. We will be there for you whatever happens, we've all been there.

:l

[charlee]

An apology

Beth
Don't put yourself down, you are here and taking steps to get to where you want to be. A little patience with yourself...plzzzzzzz

[Victory]

An apology

Dear Bak310, didn?t see your post and wasn?t in chat, but must say am impressed with your honesty. From my first post here decided to be honest about the Booze Demon. Think this is one of the most important steps towards beating the BD. So well done and no point in hating yourself. Just try again.
Kind regards
Victory
:goodjob:

[magic]

An apology

Dear Beth,

At 5pm I was in traffic headed to the dentist to pick up the kids.

I was thinking about you though.

I remember well that horrible anxiety that creeps up on you when there is no alcohol in the house and NOW is the only time you have to go and get it. I may have had the best of intentions but I needed that security.

The important thing here I think Beth is that you recognise it, admit it and try again.

Apologise to Beth if you need to and walk on, head up high.

The loosers are those who quit trying.

magic xx

[happycamper68]

An apology

Hi Bethy,

I missed your thread because I have not been on for a while but please, don't apologize to anyone here. Everyone here has been there. You tried, you knew you were vulnerable and you tried very hard to get the support. You were probably consumed by the thought of all the pressure you had now put on yourself because you invited everyone to help you at 5pm. You could have gone on chat at 5pm and lied but you didn't. That says tons about you. You called me a few weeks ago and I never called you back because I have been drinking a lot (I am on day 4 day now for the first time in months) and because I, like you I think, feel like I'm tired of stopping and starting again and feeling like I'm wasting everyone's time here. But you tried to reach out to me because you are a great person and were concerned. You need to give yourself a break. If it were easy the site would be gone. We all love you. :h