Hi all,
It's been a while since I've posted, I've checked in now and then to read everyones posts, and am still grateful to have found this site and be able to read from people much like me who have a drinking problem.
I'm doing really well, having addressed the emotional reasons behind my problem drinking, and as some would know I'm now in therapy and attending a course for people with Borderline Personality Syndrome called Dialectal Behavoural Training, I've got Chronic Complex Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, which has manifested as Borderline Personality due to childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and believe it or not, being diagnosed and being able to get the proper treatment has been a life changing experience for the better.
I no longer hide from my shame, guilt and anger behind a drunken haze, I've been able to meet other people who have been through similar experiences, and the best thing is I'm learning how to deal with all the negative emotions in a really positive way, and I'm so happy and grateful, that I can live the rest of my life in a better way, my relationship with my kids is great now, and I've broken the cycle of dysfunctional behaviour for my little grandson.
I've broken off contact with my parents and moved house, and I have accepted that they will never change and there is nothing I could ever do to win their approval, and I'm happier within myself, I feel at peace with me and the world.
Life will never be perfect, but I have finally rid myself of the festering ball of pus that lived within me, and yes that means I confronted my father, of course he and my mother denied everything and said that if anything did happen it was because I provoked it, but I now know and really believe that a small child can never be sexually precocious enough or naughty enough to warrant the things that happened, and I have given them back all of the pain, not in any real physical sense, but just finding the courage to confront them and tell them what they did to me was wrong is enough, it was enough to set myself free of it all.
So now I am moving on towards a happier life, and no longer feel the need to drink to oblivion to numb the pain. And no more abusive boyfriends either! Ever!!!!
Thanks to everyone here for your support, I will keep checking in and would love to be of help to anyone who identifys and would like to know about DBT.
Merry Christmas everyone, this is going to be my best Christmas ever!
Love Jas xxx
It's been a while since I've posted, I've checked in now and then to read everyones posts, and am still grateful to have found this site and be able to read from people much like me who have a drinking problem.
I'm doing really well, having addressed the emotional reasons behind my problem drinking, and as some would know I'm now in therapy and attending a course for people with Borderline Personality Syndrome called Dialectal Behavoural Training, I've got Chronic Complex Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, which has manifested as Borderline Personality due to childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and believe it or not, being diagnosed and being able to get the proper treatment has been a life changing experience for the better.
I no longer hide from my shame, guilt and anger behind a drunken haze, I've been able to meet other people who have been through similar experiences, and the best thing is I'm learning how to deal with all the negative emotions in a really positive way, and I'm so happy and grateful, that I can live the rest of my life in a better way, my relationship with my kids is great now, and I've broken the cycle of dysfunctional behaviour for my little grandson.
I've broken off contact with my parents and moved house, and I have accepted that they will never change and there is nothing I could ever do to win their approval, and I'm happier within myself, I feel at peace with me and the world.
Life will never be perfect, but I have finally rid myself of the festering ball of pus that lived within me, and yes that means I confronted my father, of course he and my mother denied everything and said that if anything did happen it was because I provoked it, but I now know and really believe that a small child can never be sexually precocious enough or naughty enough to warrant the things that happened, and I have given them back all of the pain, not in any real physical sense, but just finding the courage to confront them and tell them what they did to me was wrong is enough, it was enough to set myself free of it all.
So now I am moving on towards a happier life, and no longer feel the need to drink to oblivion to numb the pain. And no more abusive boyfriends either! Ever!!!!
Thanks to everyone here for your support, I will keep checking in and would love to be of help to anyone who identifys and would like to know about DBT.
Merry Christmas everyone, this is going to be my best Christmas ever!
Love Jas xxx
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