Billy's Highway File

[slightlysuze]

Billy's Highway File

Luv...this is so hard for you....but I think only you can know what you need. Sounds as if you have lots of good back up if you do see the pictures. Is there any way someone could look at them first and remove any that are too awful?

I'd also say, take some things with you if you go.....like photos of him as you knew him, well and alive and happy. Do you have any of his clothing? Might be nice to have something to hold....or a memento?

Whatever spiritual beliefs you have or don't have....I think the abiding memory I have of seeing the body of loved ones is that they aren't 'there'....they have truly left that body behind.....

Maybe some sort of mourning ritual would be helpful too? Whether you see the pictures or not.

Loving thoughts for you at such a difficult moment in your life :l


Suze x

[Beaches]

Billy's Highway File

Luv, I too wanted to let you know that I am sending you peace and strength.

[Guest]

Billy's Highway File

LUV,
Personally, I could never cope with seeing those photographs.......they would traumatize and haunt me forever.

Each of us are different.........only you yourself know if you can cope with seeing them. I just think you`ve been through too much already and that Billy would not want you to put yourself through this.........he would want you to try your hardest to remember him as he was in all of the good times.

Your post is heartbreaking. I wish you love and strength for making the decision that is right for you.:l

Starlight Impress x

[Breez]

Billy's Highway File

Luv hon- I don't know what I would do. I just want to wish you peace & closure.

[memarcie]

Billy's Highway File

Thinking of you Luv and hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.

[Niblet]

Billy's Highway File

Awww .. Luv,
Hon this is truely an individual decison that is your own... I can truely understand that closure helps a person to go on and forward. As you said though, they will start with the milder pics first and you will have a friend for the all important support... Maybe you will be content with just seeing one picture that will be your way of saying a final farewell to your Billy. I know that you will make the right decision for you.. God Bless and my heart goes out to you on making a tough decision. You know I love You... xxxx

[Guest]

Billy's Highway File

Oh Luv, I can't tell you what to do. But I agree with Janie and the others that say remember him the way he was. Smiling laughing and loving you. I fear that no matter how strong you are and think they can't be worse than your imagination, they will be. Girl, you have had such a rough year, I just don't want you starting another one in a disturbed state. I love you to pieces, do what is best for you.I just a little afraid for you. Like Lushy I never saw my Dad dead, I was there until they pulled the plug, I said my goodbye and then left the room. Never viewed him again. It was what was best for me. I suspect I will be the same with Mom. I can't view the lifeless body one one I love. You my dear are stronger than any woman I have met, so I trust your decision
Mar

[Determinatrix]

Billy's Highway File

Luvuall,
I think seeing Billy in such a damaged state will bring a lot of pain.
Seeing those you love damaged just brings to the surface the pain of knowing they were in pain, which is heartbreaking.
It will bring incredible emotions to the surface.
I understand that not all pain is negative,
I just think you may wish to think about whether this will serve you in anyway.
You use the word 'closure', but I am not sure there is such a thing.
You may never be over Billy; he will always be part of you and
you may walk funny for years from the scar of his loss.
See the blessing in having truly loved.

Backing you 100%,
Dx

[satori]

Billy's Highway File

Luv,

I would also urge you to think long and hard before viewing these photos.

Your memories should be of the happy times.

The pictures are not those of your loved one - just the damaged shell - it is not important.

Hold on to the happy memories, and let time take the rawness of your loss away - it will ease with time.

Billy, I am sure, would not have wanted you to view these photos - he would have wanted you to remember the happiness and love you shared.



Love :l

Satori

xxx

[hart]

Billy's Highway File

I was with my mom when she died of cancer. She was out of her head, but I did get to be with her the last moments. On the other hand, I was not with my uncle when he died, (he was like a 2nd father to me). I am told it was bloody and graphic. It traumatized my 2nd counsin who found his body. I am glad I wasn't there then.

What I regret is the time I didn't get to spend with them. I feel unsettled because both of them died in their fifties and early sixties and I thought I'd have much more time with them, I would have liked to tell them more, to have them tell ME more.

But just seeing their body, that wouldn't have done it for me. But everyone is different and if you start with the less graphic pictures maybe one of those will be enuf for you.

Whatever you decide I'm thinking of you hon. :l

[betty boop]

Billy's Highway File

Luvuall, I saw you suffer terribly at the beginning of this year. I truly don't know how to advise you, my only thoughts are, that the body is only the shell that held his very special soul.......... In your heart that soul still exists .............. cherish that memory ..........

Love you whatever you decide ............

BB xx

[Eastender]

Billy's Highway File

Luvuall,
So sorry for your loss.
I have pondered most of the day, read all the posts and still cannot come to a decision if I were to be in your place.
I do agree with Satori and BB that the body is just a shell,and that the thing we hold most dear is the life essence it contains ,and the memories we have, that live in our minds.
You must do what is right for you.

I wish you peace for the future.

Eastx

[happydog]

Billy's Highway File

Lovuall, I'm sorry to hear you lost your love one.
I remember seeing my brother the last time in hospital and i could tell by the look on his face he was scared to go. On the way home he die. I can still picture that look on his face today and it still upsets me. I personally would not look at the photograghs. Like star said they would traumatise and hurt me forever.
I will be thinking of you!... sending you lots of strength and peace!
Love
Teardrop.x

[Prest4time]

Billy's Highway File

Luv,

Sorry I am just now seeing this thread. I think I told you shortly after you joined about my little niece's tragic death by drowning in a lake. I was with my sister-in-law in the room at her birth, and lived with them after my divorce. It was almost like losing my own child in some ways. Her death was very tragic for our entire family.

But drownings do not leave physical scars, and her open casket contained a four-year-old little girl with a beautiful dress on, stockings, and a bow in her strawberry blonde hair.

To see someone you love dead is very stressful, but somehow it draws you at the same time. I understand. Just know that the images you see will be burned into you forever. They will be painful. Its like downloading software into your hard drive and you can never delete it.

I wish you the best whatever you decide; just please be sure that you are able to handle it.

All the best,
Allie

[jane jane]

Billy's Highway File

This may be too late, but let me add my vote to those who say, "don't do it." Reading all the posts, I see that the word "haunted" is probably the one repeated most---a theme, if you will. Some are haunted by having seen the remains, some are haunted by NOT having seen them---it seems to me that you are going to be haunted forever, whatever your decision, so you have to decide which you'd rather carry around forever---your uncertainty, or the indelible images, burned onto your retina, of something horrible. I'm so afraid that, instead of closure for you, viewing the gore and trauma will begin a whole new phase of grief, and will rip your heart out all over again.