I hate Christmas

[YoungAtHeart]

I hate Christmas

I'm lucky; even though my family had its craziness, we managed to keep holidays relatively sane. I enjoy Christmas. I fully understand that many people don't because of their families. It's a shame. I'm sorry My Heart, that you have to live with the knowledge that you want your children to enjoy Christmas with their cousins while also exposing them to the woman who treated you so dreadfully. Hang in there, it will be over soon.

I do believe that Christ was born at another time of the year, but the early Christians moved the celebration of his birth to the winter to compete with pagan festivals surrounding the winter solstice.

Capt J, you and I are very fortunate that we enjoy the holidays the way that we do. We shouldn't be judging before we have experienced the things that others have gone through. I hope you have a great Christmas with your family.

Merry Christmas to all, or happy Winter Solstice.

Love,:heart:
Kathy

[keeper]

I hate Christmas

Christmas is hard for many. Heck, it's hard for me. But, I do believe it's the celebrations of the birth of Jesus.

I don't really know why sometimes it seems depressing to me, maybe because I don't think I'm deserving. Who knows?

BUT, We are all deserving. Our Heavenly Father said so.

[Scorpio]

I hate Christmas

I've never really been fond of Christmas and this year I'm spending it alone. I was originally depressed about being alone but it's not so bad. I avoided anything to do with Christmas this year and today feels like just another day! Hang in there everyone - it's almost over!

[MyOwnWoman]

I hate Christmas

Just dropped my daughter off with her dad and cried my eyes out the whole way home. I'm alone for the rest of the day -- it's a pisser.

But she and I did have a wonderful Cmas eve and morning, so it ain't all bad.

[FinallyRN]

I hate Christmas

I don't know if I belong here because I actually like X-mas, but it always wasn't like that. I had a mother who on top of all her other issues was an atheist so her attempt at a celebration has half hearted. It took having my son for me to change my attitude but it was still pretty empty in feeling. It took my 2nd husband for me to change. At first he'd decorate the house without me............"whats the point" I thought. He'd get excited about the gifts and giving. No matter how cynical I was I didn't bother him. My upbringing was pretty F__ked up and his was Ozzie and Harriet. It took him to teach me the joys family. I this area I've been blessed. Maybe we can all create our own meaningful X-mas?!

[southernbelle47]

I hate Christmas

I'm sorry for those of you who don't have any happy memories. My grandmother didn't have any money but one year she gave me and my cousins a wind up doll that went around in circles. It is a treasure...as is my grandma. She died in 1971.. I too don't have many happy memories of my parents....but I do cherish the ones of the love I felt from my grandmother. She showed me how to love....unconditionally and forever.
:h Nancy

[Flip]

I hate Christmas

I guess the point is that for some of us it's NOT a special day - just one fraught with stress and danger because of western society's expectations. If you don't believe in the religous aspects it has no particular significance - and there is a terrible burden to spend money and travel to see family that you normally wouldn't see and don't like. Throw anger and alcohol into the mix and it's a real disaster.

And don't start throwing your christian beliefs down my throat - I"m allowed to have my opinion too!!

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I hate Christmas

Just got back guys. I had a nice talk with my sister in the car (a big limo so the kids were on their own side and couldn't hear us) on the way home about our painful memories of our Mother and we discussed that maybe she is mentally ill. It's somehow easier to handle it in that light. She is ill, in our minds atleast, and therefore easier to forgive. However we will not tolerate her "current crap". We had a decent day. Above all my kids bonded with their cousins and I spent time with my sister. We made the best of it. I'm sorry if my melt down last night upset anyone but I really was quite upset. My eyes were swollen this morning from all the crying I did last night....just the thought of this day threw me into such a panic. Thank you all for letting me vent here. I really really appreciated it!

[CaptJBean]

I hate Christmas

Understand that we all make choices... happiness is a choice. You can either let the past or even a miserable present situation dictate the the moment or even rest of your life. It would be a shame to waste one day, no matter what day it might be, by reliving a moment you can't change.
Don't assume that I haven't experience pain because I have decided to make the best of bad situations. Either your glass is half full or half empty.

[tawnyfrog]

I hate Christmas

CaptJBean;244876 wrote: Unhealthy Attitudes! Why would you give away your power any day but especially on such a special wonderful day. That's very sad. You have no one else to blame but yourself! Shame on you! I love Christmas. Start your very own new tradition...

Sorry CaptJBean ... I don't understand. Shame on me for what????? I don't "do" Christmas but I certainly don't say "shame on you" to those who do.

I'm glad yours was a special wonderful day. Please allow the non-Christmas people the same prerogative - nothing unhealthy about that, surely?.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I hate Christmas

CaptJBean;245046 wrote: Understand that we all make choices... happiness is a choice. You can either let the past or even a miserable present situation dictate the the moment or even rest of your life. It would be a shame to waste one day, no matter what day it might be, by reliving a moment you can't change.
Don't assume that I haven't experience pain because I have decided to make the best of bad situations. Either your glass is half full or half empty.

Hi CapJ,

I never assume anyone has not experienced pain, on the contrary I tend to assume everyone has because that is what is "normal" for me. Who wants to waste one day of their lives?....Certainly not me!! Please understand there is TRAUMA that people cannot CHOOSE to get over. It has gotten into their psyche and that is why people see psychiatrists and pscyhologists because they wish they could CHOOSE to see the glass half full but someohow as much as they want to they can't so they go to professionals to help see the glass half full. Nobody chooses to spend tons of time and money on this. It is out of desperation that we try to heal ourselves. These professionals give us sage advice and medications and we do our best.

If I were a perfect human being I would not be traumatized by Christmas or my Mother and I would see the glass half full. Unfortunately I am a flawed human and need medication and counseling and then some to get through the holidays with this woman.

Imagine having to celebrate Christmas with some one who raped you and left you bruised and bleeding and having to tell that person that you loved them. Can you relate at all to that? It is not easy for a human being with a beating heart to do. A robot might succeed, but a human????......not so much.

I appreciate your sentiment Cap, I really do : )



Merry Christmas Everyone.....I survived another

[Cinders]

I hate Christmas

My DEAREST friends,

I am not going to jump into the Christmas is good/bad/indifferent or just another day fray.

It simply does not matter.

It is a stressful time, even for those of us who believe in the whole shebang, hard for those who believe but have miserable experiences with family issues, difficult for those who just want to be left out of the melee and enjoy it as just another day.

I guess what I do HATE about Christmas is all of that.

What I LOVE about Christmas, is that it is a time of year I am not traveling/working and can be home with my family and friends. (And I do believe in the story of Christ but my son and his wife don't and they still love Christmas.)

So, after having had a beautiful day with my family (sans mommy and daddy because mom got sick, so we all talked to them on phone one by one -- poor 84 year olds had to talk to 9 of us one by one) and a tiring one, all I can say is I wish there were more days like Christmas, so family could be together, children can laugh and get excited together and enjoy each other's company and grownups can sit back and laugh. We did a lot of that yesterday.

Where my heart aches for my friends here and those whom I know otherwise, is that because of family, life, whatever, the whole "togetherness" with family is a trial.

For those of you, I send my love, my hopes you have a chance to make your own wonderful "family" and that life is better from this day forward.

I love you all.

Cindi

[Suki411]

I hate Christmas

MyHeart, glad you survived another xmas. I survived by drinking and staying in bed. Since my mom passed away, two years ago, holidays have been so painful. Was named executrix, still trying to settle the estate, you'd think that my money-hungry brother who sexually abused me as a child, or my perfect sister, with her perfect husband and two perfect daughters would have called, at least to find out when they were getting any money.

Didn't even hear from my mom's sister who called the day after she died to ask what was going to happen to the red desk.

Drinking doesn't solve anything. Starting AF (yet again) today. After taking care of grandmother, dad and mom for 27 years. It's time for me. Anyone have any ideas how I start?

[Cinders]

I hate Christmas

Suki,

Look towards a new "family." That does not mean you have to get married, or have kids, or any of the traditional things.

I am talking about surrounding yourself with people you care about and who care about you. That is family, no matter what traditional form that is.

From today forward, do what you must to take care of the things you should but also do what you must to be with people you care about and who care about you.

New families come together all the time. You can "find" one and your life will be better for it and so will theirs.

Love,
Cindi

[Suki411]

I hate Christmas

db, thanks for your post. Having spent so much time taking care of family and then almost two years, trying to sell mom's condo, clearing it out moving things to my sister and her kids (mom didn't want my bro to get anything from the house) when I closed on the condo in September, only to find out that the real estate agents are suing me to get a bigger commission. Family friends for 40 years.

You are right though, I need to surround myself with good people.

Cindi, you are the best.

love, S