Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

[memarcie]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

I have been there done that as well. The way to fix it is not to drink. I can't say that if I was in that place again, it wouldn't happen again. So I don't put myself there.

[jane jane]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

Hi Hollister---

Luckily, Mr. Jane is always around the house when I get wine-happy and ready to peel my knickers off...and even at my winiest-loopiest, I'm far too shy to get crazy with other guys! But I echo Bootsie in praising you for your willingness to admit this happens to you. And Lucky, interesting historical note about non-monogamistic cultures.

The main point is, I think, that you know you have a wonderful guy, and don't need to lose him. These true princes are rare, and whatever it takes, please don't jeopardize your marriage. We'll always be here to listen and advise, so be strong and keep posting.

[choklyteyes]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

I wasnt married at the time but in a relationship with a wonderful man...and did just what you are doing. It is not the booze..it is a problem within you that you need to dig deep to find. If you truly love yourself and him..you will begin digging or you will loose a love you may never find again. I am soooo very fortunate...that several yrs later...lots of help and healing....that I am now married to to that wonderful man. I would NEVER and I mean NEVER even entertain the thought of going outside of my marriage. I don't want to sound harsh but I almost lost that once in a lifetime...be careful that you dont. More importantly..be careful that you dont loose love and respect for yourself. :l

[bootcampbarbie]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

you know i was thinking. i was writing a poem or at least writing about lonleliness. i wonder and you let me know if i send it to you in raw form if that would be useful. sense we do all feel it and we take ourselves out and try to fill that void with many things, food, sex, drugs, alcohol. etc... let me know. it isn't finished by anymeans what i'm writing but ah well, it may be helpful. i know it is for me.

[betty boop]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

Well, I for one can admit to getting really flirty when drunk, even when Mr Boop is there .....

Because of this I now volunteer to drive if lots of other people are going to be there............

[tiredinhollister]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

Now the only other problem is i'm afraid thats the only way to get in the mood by drinking

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

I can only say that this is a VERY classic symptom of Bipolar and you might want to look into that. I'm sorry for what you've both been through. (((HUGS)))

[John35]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

Tired, I had a sexual relationship with an ex girlfriend because I'm an alcoholic and the problems it presented in my then current relationship would cause me to seek her out. After it was all said in done, I was overwhelmed with remorse, and could not believe I had done what I did. There was nothing lacking in my relationship. The only fights we had were because of my alcoholism and the indiscretions I commited while intoxicated. Anyway, I lost her, and I would do anything to get her back. Don't lose someone who loves you and you love because alcohol makes u promiscious. Talk to your husband, and find other avenues to spice up your love life. I think he may surprise you. Good luck.

[ylfa]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

When I drunk I get all stupid idieas in the world in my head. Sometimes I do something or often say something I dont actually feel or find. Often I cheetet on my boyfriend because I feelt strong for somebody else. The day after I could have puked on that man and was not interested at all. When I drink I become different person, my opinions are different and action and are almost nothing alike me. That is something I am deeling wiht now. If you feel that you loose control and loses your ethical standard when you are drunk, this is then related to your drinking not that you are unhappy in your relathionship.
Good luck,
ylfa

[dexterhead]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

Tired: I can relate. I don't think it's necessarily something wrong in your marriage. It's deep-down issues with sexuality, I think. I grew up with a mom who gave me the general impression sex was "dirty" and a dad who ran around. Traumatic stuff in my teens, although never sexual abuse, and, also painfully shy, was rather terrified of guys. All my first sexual experiences were under the influence. Some pretty scary/stupid stuff (picking up a complete stranger in Spain, going to his apartment, wandering back to my hotel at 4 a.m.) and blackouts. Later on, one issue in my divorce was my husband's complaint that I wasn't sexual enough with him. I definitely learned to be sexual without alcohol, but I think that somehow sexuality ifor me is still tied to being somewhat dangerous or forbidden.
And ... nearly everyone on this site has done something while drunk that they are mortified about and endangered some aspect of their life. I feel like some people here find they feel free to be more judgmental about this particular issue.!! that's silly. yes, you're endangering your marriage, but you know that. Most of us have compromised our ideals and/or risked a lot because of this nasty addiction.

[trixietrack]

Cheating on my spouse when drinking.

there are medications that help with libido if you are looking to find an alternative.
this might actually keep you from making bad decisions, and keeping it at home with your DH.

On a different note, I know many, many married women who are not sexually attracted to their husbands and they are always secretly looking for an outlet. It is a strange phenomena.