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**Mags** · December 31, 2007, 09:49 PM

Moods

Hi bummn

I think you'll find depression is a problem that almost all of us suffer from - some of us very severely. It goes hand in hand with alcoholism it seems. Many of us take various medictions for it, many of us don't. If you keep reading the boards you'll find the topic of depression comes up often.

I myself suffer terrible depression but know that when I was drinking the depression was much much much much much much much worse than it is since I have been alcohol free for quite a long time. People with depression want to drink so badly to alleive the depression but it most definitely makes the depression much worse.

If you read the Holistic Health forum, you will find lots of discussion of nutritional and herbal supplements that have helped people a lot in dealing with depression.

Welcome to MWO and good luck. Let us know how you are doing and please keep posting.

**me145** · December 31, 2007, 09:51 PM

Moods

Oh my Bum.. you have no idea.. I have the same problem as you. My drinking problem is binge drinking... I don't drink everyday, but when I do, its often drinking towards blacking out. I hate it so much. It runs in my family ,but it also has about 90 percent due to my depression. My whole thing is, I chase for the good happy "high" feeling that alcohol gives you.. but since my drinking habits have worsened, I dont get much of a happy high.. maybe for the first fifteen minutes.. then I must drink quick and take shots in order to continue drinking, which then leads to me blacking out and becoming stumbly drunk. i realize all of this because I am very aware of my mental feelings, mood, depression, happyiness.. some of my friends drink as much as i do, but they say they just get happy keepin a buzz---me i have to drink fast in order to continue the euphoria i feel in the beginning.. but anyway, a binge drinking night also leads to two days of depression.. by the third day i feel about normal, but im still depressed.. i take natural supplements for it.. but they dont really do it to much for me.. they bring me close to feeling ok, but just not quite there.. i really need to be on antidepressants, but havent been back to the pysch about that in a few years. i was on them when my drinking was so bad, like six days a week, so i stopped the zoloft bc i knew that i couldnt drink like that and expect the zoloft to work.. and i also think the zoloft may have worsend my drinking.. right now i take 5-htp, vitamin b-6 and b-12, fish oil pills, and a multi... the 5-htp is a natural antidepressant which worked WONDERS in the beginning, but slowly stopped working. that wasnt bc of the drinking either, bc i didnt have a drinking problem when i first began it five years ago. it worked amazing for about four months. the other options for depression beside medications are SAM-E, st. johns wort.. def get the fish oil pills and the vitamin b6 too, and multi.. those are essential in my mind.

**bummn** · December 31, 2007, 10:18 PM

Moods

Thanks!!!
I was begining to think that it was just me! I have really been trying for a couple of months... I'm sure my story is a old rerun on this site... Pressure from work makes me want to drink, drinking ruins time with my family, loss of relaxing time with family (the reason why I work so hard!!) makes me want to drink more...
The ONLY bright spot is that I have never let it affect me at work..... Sh*t I was named "TOP PERFORMER" for the lat 2 years @ our awards ceremonies.... Ain't that a laugh!! I got a certificate and a shirt for ruining my family .....
Everyone on this site has been awesome and I have to be a "bummn 1" on a holiday... I wish the best to all, and thank everyone for the support that you have given me today and in the past as well!!

**Thankful** · December 31, 2007, 10:35 PM

Moods

Bummn - I couldn't agree more with Me145. Depression is sooooooooooooo much worse with alcohol. I have been depressed for years and alcohol has made it worse that's for sure. I have never gone to a doctor for treatment bc I have not had insurance in years. Sometimes the only thing that has kept me from really losing it (and I mean suicide) is the fact that my dad and niece need me. I'm ok now, but just wanted to let you know how dark that road was for me. In the 5 days that I have been alcohol free, I have never felt happier. I read this so many times from people, and thought yeah right, can't be that big a difference in their mood. But I'm happy to say I was very wrong. Yesterday was day 4 for me and I was so happy for no reason. I had to tell my family all day long that I was having a great day bc I couldn't believe it myself. They looked at me like I was crazy. You want to know why? I spent the entire day doing housework! Took down the x-mas tree, cleaned out the attic, rearranged furniture that I have been wanting rearrainged for a very long time. I was so happy not to be a lazy slug, just sucking down beers feelign like crap bc I was wasting another day doing nothing but destroying myself.

Give up the booze again and I promise you'll notice a difference. Maybe not as drastic as mine, but you will feel bettter. As far as herbs and vitmins go, ME145 is so right. I used to take St. John's Wort. You won't notice an immediate difference when taking it, but when you stop taking it you'll realize it was helping. Does that make sense? In other words when I was taking it, I wasn't sure if it was helping. When I stopped taking it, I discovered I was feeling much better when I was on it. I thought about starting it up again this week and have realized that I don't think I need it anymore. I hope you have the same success!

Please take care of you and keep us it the loop on your progress. Good luck!!

Wishing you all a great 2008!

**lookingforhope** · December 31, 2007, 10:42 PM

Moods

Hi Bummn, No, your not alone. The chicken or the egg you ask. For me, I was trying to overcome depression with alcohol to begin with, and then the cycle begins. Slowly at first, but week after week, day after day, it catches up with you and before long, your drinking too much every day. Unlike you, it has affected my job...pressure from job (drink), hurt the family (drink), start all over again the next day (drink again). Drink when your happy, sad, accomplished something, failed, holiday, anyday. Depression...cycling downward. I finally had a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago and am taking leave to weave everything back together. I think my breath has been lost, but now caught...and here is to a wonderful year ahead of sobriety. I will take my anti-depressants and leave out the booze.

**bummn** · December 31, 2007, 11:08 PM

Moods

I didn't knooo

Thanks & Looking,

I really appreciate your feedback. Right now I am sitting here in an empty house. The family is across the street @ a party that I am uncomfortable at.... The funny thing is that it's an AF party. I used to be the dsrunk.....

**lookingforhope** · December 31, 2007, 11:47 PM

Moods

I love what you just said... "I used to be the drunk!" Tears streaming down my face, yes...I used to be the drunk too. If we can do it on New Years Eve, we can do it all the time. And even if we slip, pick back up and move on.

**bummn** · January 1, 2008, 12:46 AM

Moods

Looking,
How do you get past your old image?? I am trying to satisfy my wife's demands to be not only sociable, but sober, and my own desires for a better life.
I am sitting around people talking about drinking, and enjoying themselves, while I sit there and.....

**lookingforhope** · January 1, 2008, 01:06 AM

Moods

I don't know bummn....my image is under construction as well as my life. Maybe someone who has been sober longer than me will be able to help you answer that question. As I keep reading hear, One Day At A Time.

**me145** · January 1, 2008, 01:35 AM

Moods

Thanks thankful, good luck to you on day five! and everyone else =)

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