The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

[Guest]

The way I see it, any slip has 2 possible outcomes........the slip will either cause us to completely blow our sobriety and carry on drinking, or.........the slip will be a lesson we had to learn first hand and will cause us to cherish our sobriety all the more.

Admittedly, I blew my 5 consecutive AF months last night, BUT!!!!..........I have not blown my sobriety. I am straight back on the wagon and I think I really needed to slip to re-evaluate my life.

There are many causes of me slipping last night, although I agree that even the most tragic of circumstances do not constitute an excuse or a reason for slipping. Many of you will have followed my progress to date and know that I didn`t have a particularly easy 2007, and that this is the saddest time of my life as we wait to see the outcome of my cousin`s critical condition. However, I must acknowledge that many people have had an even more difficult year than myself, many of whom haven`t sought solace in booze.

I think my big mistake was that I never actually moved on from the quit.........I was still kind of foolishly congratulating myself for having managed to quit in the first place. I made quite a few life-changing plans when I quit, only.........I have yet to follow any of those through. I just quit........full stop........I didn`t really start to sort out my life at all.........I have just been ambling along with no proper direction.

I now know that the foolproof plan for me to stay sober is to pull out all the stops to improve all areas of my life that need improving. In one respect, I am glad I drank last night.........I drank a btl/wine last night........woke up this morning and realized that the wine did nothing for me.........everything in my life is just as it was before I drank. I just needed to do it to reaffirm that I do not at all want drink in my life. Overnight, I have become a non-drinker..........I am no longer just a drinker who isn`t drinking.

In a way, this has been a good experience for me.........I now need to progress from the act of quitting and move on with my life.

Each of us are different, but personally, I`m an "all or nothing" kind of woman, so I am not prepared to call myself 5 mths. sober with 1 slip. I am back on Day 1 AF, only.........this time I have every intention of being sober for keeps..........already know I will.

Starlight Impress x

[Chief]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

You are a wonderful, beautiful, strong woman with the backbone to step up to the plate instead of burying your head in the sand.

I'm blessed to have you in my life.

I speak for everyone when I say "It's truely a pleasure to know you, Starlight"...

As usual...we can all learn from you..

Love,

Don :l

[cuckoosnest83]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Dear Star, what an awesome message. You so eloquently summarize feelings for those of us who don't want to be labelled. Be it as an alcoholic, a "drinker who is AF", a person in recovery, etc. I don't want my AF days to define me. I just want to become a non-drinker where alcohol ceases to have its hold over me. I saved this post in a word document to print and carry with me. Hopefully it will provide inspiration to me as I try not to become AF but as I try to become a person who no longer drinks. Thank you, Star.

[KateH1]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Starlight Impress;248236 wrote: I think my big mistake was that I never actually moved on from the quit.........I was still kind of foolishly congratulating myself for having managed to quit in the first place. I made quite a few life-changing plans when I quit, only.........I have yet to follow any of those through. I just quit........full stop........I didn`t really start to sort out my life at all.........I have just been ambling along with no proper direction.

........woke up this morning and realized that the wine did nothing for me.........everything in my life is just as it was before I drank. I just needed to do it to reaffirm that I do not at all want drink in my life. Overnight, I have become a non-drinker..........I am no longer just a drinker who isn`t drinking.
Starlight Impress x

Wise words from a very wise woman.........I am printing and posting this part of your post on my mirror! Wow.....Star, your words really hit home for me! Thank you, my friend.

Love,
KateH

[kpuk]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Starlight

Thinking of you and thank you for your inspirational words at a most difficult time for yourself.

K, x

[KateH1]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

You know what else you and Chief have helped me to realize?

No matter how many day, months and even years of sobriety that we put behind us, the most important day, will ALWAYS Be TODAY!

I am not 10 Days AF.......I AM a Non Drinker!!!! Today and every day!
:l

[mike205]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Hey Star,

Thank You so much for posting this thread. I'm really glad you figured out that you are not a drinker anymore.

I'm also glad that you told me after you drank and not before. Even though I know you have a good head on your shoulders I still would have been worried.
Do you realize how many MWO'ers would have been on the next flight to Glasgee to make sure you were ok.

Take care,
mike

[hippie37]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

I am right with you on that score Star!!.

I foolishly allowed myself to think differently and no matter how lonely and depressed I was thinking, this xmas, I made a complete ass of myself. I let every little piece of common thinking and standing GO just like that...............

A few champagnes with amereto was not enough for me I had to take on board the whole scottish brewery by drinking tenannts super (Satori I'm sure you know what I mean as well!!). I have tried to fight back knowing the consequences etc knowing how much I was hurtin people but still I only 'doomed myself by consuming a large amount of magic mushrooms. This Xmas will go down in history as the best 'FUCK UP' ever. I won't pardon my French because it needs to be said. Star and Boots you were both going through tough times etc and I relaid nothing but 'shite'. I guess I'm trying to apologise here as well.........WILL SOMEON THROW ME A FRICK'N ROPE!!!!.............

I have realsied a lot this festive season and not just that I cannot drink and partake of certain rituals I used to do as a laugh. I have a daughter that up until about Boxing Day I forgot about. I was so lonely and wanted to be a part of something that I was missing. Why wasn't I involved anymore???? Why ?????? ... I guess I ruined things totally by getting this way with a friend and It pisses me off..

I am in the mood for writing a heck of a lot more but, I'm just hoping I'm gonna start things over again like STAR. No one is perfect!!.....No drink....No drugs....... I ask maybe that I know this a an alcohol related site but my depression has lead me into other paths I used to lead so....................GIVE US A BREAK GUVNA!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[me145]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

you go girl.. you are very very strong, and a slip to me is not a big deal at all. and as you said, it makes you realize there was nothing so special about drinking anyway right? so you go right back. some people use their slips as almost excuses to start drinking again. ( i messd up anyway so might as well keep on messing up)

[betty boop]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Star, in the eyes of everyone here, no matter what you do you are still very special to all of us .......

BB xx

[Guest]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Star,

I agree with you. I"m also an all or nothing girl. No matter how many times I previously gave up for a while it never was sustainable because I hadnt tackled the underlying stuff.

For me, it will never be the case that x many days means I"m cured. X will only mark the number of days I have been without booze in my body. The only thing that will stop me from returning to drinking is honesty and continual work on myself. That thought used to drain me of energy as I thought 'where is the end to this', but that wasnt true.. because the reality is that this way I'm continually growing. Sure, bits of it are tough work, but not everything in life is meant to be easy.. and some things are worth working for.

In my opinion, personal growth and personal forgiveness and understanding is the best journey I've embarked on ever.... (and it never ends!!!)

Day 1 is a great beginning... dont knock it.
Good luck
Brigid

[Finding My Self]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Starlight Impress;248236 wrote: `...I didn`t really start to sort out my life at all.........I have just been ambling along with no proper direction.

Dear SI - What an amazing woman you are. Still 'teaching' and giving.....and you will achieve your goal - well, as you say, you have...you are now a non-drinker! And what an open and honest one!

The above quote is something I need to remember too .....thank you. Big changes...and yet none. And the enjoyment of being sober could so easily become complacency in both being a sober bod and the not really moving on into success and achievement (for me)...but direction and achievement, I am sure, would be 'extra rope'.....

Thanks for reminding me that early 2008 must be, for me, too, moving forward into achieving that direction and real change.

And I so wish you well and joyous success in your journey - Ms. Non-Drinker!!! (How posh; a double-barrelled name!!!!)

Lots of love
FMS xx :l

[memarcie]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Star, you were talking the other night about drinking. I know you needed to do this to see for yourself what would happen.

You sound like you've learned from the experience and it will make you stronger. Time to heal and be the strong woman we all know you are. You can and will do this!

[Reenie]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

Star: I commend you for telling us about you slip last night. In addition, your rationalization for the slip makes excellent sense. It's very apparent you have a good head on your shoulders and that you are strong enough to forge ahead and address all issues. When I first read that you slipped, my jaw dropped. Upon reading your post, I soon realized, "Oh good, she's okay. I agree with everything she just wrote. What a deep and enlightening post". I'm proud of you for accepting the slip, learning from it, and not letting it bring you down. You've worked so hard already -Reenie

[Guest]

The 2 possible outcomes of a slip.

good luck to you all and to me too, 2008 will be a good year for us cos we are learning about ourselves all the time.