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[SK8RGRL]

Last night I caved again. Anyone who remembers me from here knows I cannot string more than 2 days together without a drink. Needless to say I am on a massive downer. Well I have just come back from seeing my doctor, I went armed with my "homework". I asked him if I could be prescribed naltrexone as I don't see any other way out of this abyss without therapy. He said it would be very difficult for him to prescribe naltrexone. He has instead given me - Heminevrin - he tells me his "hardened alcoholics" have had success on this drug where other drugs have failed (incidentally he told me I was the healthiest looking alcoholic he has seen ??) I am wondering... does anyone have any experience of this. I know I probably should have posted this in the meds board but I already started here. Apparantly it is a strong sedative to be taken for about 9 days to help cope with the withdrawals. I am scared tho, I am scared of any side affects but I know I have to take it. It's when to start it too...I should take it straight away, but I have work tomorrow and don't want to fall asleep at my desk or make any mistakes. I am going to AA tonight and tomorrow and to as many meetings as I can until I "get" this. I don't understand how I can be so strong through best part of the day and then give in. I know I cannot continue this pattern but the thought of a life where I can never drink again freaks me out.

[Cinders]

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sk8rgrl,

Here is what I found out about it. I can see why it would help. Not sure about outpatient, though??

How does it work?

This medicine contains the active ingredient clomethiazole (previously known as chlormethiazole in the UK). It acts on receptors in the brain known as GABA receptors, which causes the release of a chemical called GABA (gamma amino butyric acid). GABA is a major inhibitory chemical in the brain involved in causing sleepiness and controlling anxiety and fits.

Clomethiazole acts by increasing the activity of GABA, thereby reducing the functioning of certain areas of the brain. This results in sleepiness, a decrease in anxiety and relaxation of muscles. Clomethiazole is used for the management of aggitation, restlessness and short term insonmia in the elderly.

Clomethiazole also inhibits a chemical called alcohol dehydrogenase that is responsible for breaking down alcohol in the body. This slows the rate of elimination of alcohol from the body, which helps to relieve the sudden effects of alcohol withdrawal in alcoholics. It should only be used in the treatment of alcohol withdrawal under close hospital supervision.

Best of luck!! This sounds very promising for withdrawal.

Love,
Cindi

[satori]

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Hiya SK8.

As I always say - DON'T try to think of a life without alcohol - it is too overwhelming at this stage.

Break it down into small chunks - minute by minute if necesary.

if you keep doing the small easy chunks - the AF life will take care of itself.

You KNOW you can stay AF for an hour - so just do it!
Then decide to stay AF for the next hour too.

Don't think ahead any more than that in the early stages.
In a few days you will be able to lengthen the times and say "I will not drink today"

After about day 5 it just gets easier and easier.

That is how I did it - and I am currently 169 days AF.

When I was starting out down this path - the thought of life without alcohol absolutely terrified me too!
Now - I can quite happily consider a life without alcohol. I am doing it!

Love :l

satori

xxx

[Beaches]

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Hi SK8, Sorry I haven't heard of that medication before and I understand your fear of the side effects. The side effects of the drug may be much more tolerable than the side effects of the withdraw/ hang overs however. We make as many, if not more, mistakes hung over at work we do on med's, IMHO.
You sound motivated and if you are concerned about when to start maybe you could talk to your doctor or pharmacist. Maybe you could start right before you went to bed and that would be better than early in the am.
Good luck to you!!

[Cinders]

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btw,

Doesn't a life where you continue to drink scare you more than a life without?

Cindi

[betty boop]

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SK8 so lovely to see you back!!!!!

Can't help with the meds but have to agree with Satori, beby steps hon ....

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Diamond7]

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Sk8rgrl,

Like Betty, I have no idea about the meds your doctor has prescribed. I know quite a lot about your feelings though. The thought of never drinking again is overwhelming when you know nothing else, that is why, as others have pointed out, you have to change your thinking and just deal with this very moment. You string all your moments together and what do you have? A life my friend, a life!

For me, and many others, the thought of a life where I continue to drink absolutely terrifies me. When I think to myself "Ohhh, I can handle it, I can just have one" or whatever my errant brain wants to tell me I review the whole ugly truth with myself and I KNOW that I can't handle it and I really don't want to, it's just too much trouble, too much worry and stress. Today is my third day AF. Last night around 5-6 P.M. I started craving a drink and getting that 'OMG I can't drink ever" fear and felt overwhelmed, "freaked out" just as you said. Then I started to question that feeling, did I really want a drink? Truthfully, I did not, I'm sick and felt like crap yet the habit took me over and made me believe that's what I wanted. I reviewed it in my mind as if I were actually pouring the wine, sitting in my favorite chair and taking a drink... and it tasted nasty to me. It doesn't really taste nasty, that is just my mind set now. It's amazing what your mind can do to you, and what you can make it do FOR YOU. I made a list of all the things (that I can remember) that I have done, all the people I have offended and loved ones lost while I was drinking. Assessed the damage. It is devastating. It made me sick, literally, but it also made me start thinking about drinking in a different way. Not just the cursory "I know drinking is bad for me and everyone around me and I must stop" thought, but deeply think about it, mull it over and choke on it a while. And when I come back to the thought of wanting to drink, I'm going to take out that list and choke on it some more.

Please do not give up on yourself because you slip, and try to change the way you speak to yourself. When you hear yourself say "Anyone who remembers me from here knows I cannot string more than 2 days together without a drink." know that you are setting yourself up, for failure. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself and tell yourself what you CAN do rather that what you 'cannot.' Your mind is your most powerful tool, train it to help you. It just takes a moment, and another and the next put together to build a lifetime.

I hope this helps you somewhat. Please let us know how you're doing and keep your head up. :l

[SK8RGRL]

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Just an update.. whilst I am still shaky, panicky and anxious I have not had a drink since I posted this thread. Today is day 5.... day 5! ... pretty good for me, who can never get passed day 2. Tabs seem to be helping alot and AA meetings are keeping me focused, so so far so good. Not saying it's easy... I am ready to tear someones head off but so far have resisted. Thanks guys

[Saint Jude]

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5 days!:goodjob: You're doing great! keep it up!

[wonderworld]

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WOW SK8R !!!! SOOooooo awesome on those 5 days! Way to go!!! :goodjob:

[MDBiker]

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SK8 you can do this. It isn’t easy, but you can do it. Believe me I couldn’t go two days without a drink. I quit every morning and started at 5:00 the next day. Sometimes I would just bypass the quitting and start drinking in the morning. It was all the same, I was drunk all the time. I too could not envision myself without a drink. My gut would literally hurt when I was not drinking, but wanted a drink. I suppose you are doing the MWO program, and it should help. I see you are going to a Dr. and that is a great move. You might want to go to a Psychiatrist who can and will be able to prescribe drugs and know more about what they are doing concerning alcoholism. I tell you truly, no recovering alcoholic I know has quit drinking forever. It is always an option. I drive by liquor stores on my way home in the evening. I have been in bars and I have had to shop in grocery stores where alcohol is available. I can drink alcohol any time I decide to; but I know for me it is poison. Therefore I make the decision not to drink today. I had a hard time making that stick until I had help with meds, but I have now been AF for 9 months and I wouldn’t trade my sobriety for anything. I have a life again; a life I had forgotten existed. I know what drinking did for me, and I am not willing to give up what I have now for the Hell I was in while I was drinking. I see also you are going to AA. AA isn’t for everyone, but if you are going and getting along well with the people, go ahead and commit to doing 30 meetings in 30 days. Get yourself a sponsor. If you don’t know who to pick, just ask in a meeting if anyone would like to get with you after the meeting and be your sponsor. AA has really helped me a lot along with MWO, my Psychiatrist, and the fact that my body could only hold so much alcohol before something had to give. You have to commit to this, but you can do it. Just PM me if there is anything I can do to help you.

God Bless

:huggy

bear

[satori]

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MDBiker;252343 wrote: SK8 you can do this. It isn?t easy, but you can do it. Believe me I couldn?t go two days without a drink. I quit every morning and started at 5:00 the next day. Sometimes I would just bypass the quitting and start drinking in the morning.

bear

LOL - Me too Bear!
Some days I just couldn't be bothered with the "quittng" part of the ritual either! :H

Well done on your 9 months - you must be feeling great!
I am coming up fast on 6 months - so I have a way to go yet - but - I wouldn't trade this life for the old one now either - not in a million years!

SK8

Day 5 is generally agreed to be one of the worst - if you get thru that one - you will find it starts to get easier and easier with each passing day -

You are doing it!

Love

satori

xxx

[SK8RGRL]

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Too right... Day 5 is a bummer. Spent the whole of yesterday feeling so sorry for myself, mega depression and off the scale anxiety. Overslept this morning...by an hour and a mad busy day at work, but..and I say it quietly...today I feel much better, brighter and kinda hopefull that, maybe just maybe I can do it this time.

[12many]

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SK8-

What a terrific story. Congratulations on your success and hang in there!!!!

-d