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[WA]

My father has changed over the past six months,he forgets things keeps buying things he doesnt need and saying things that are beyond belief...anyway to cut a long story short me and my mum went to see his doctor today told him the whole story and he agreed that my father is unwell but can not do anything unless my father goes to him and asks for help...which he wont do as he doesnt think there is anything wrong...he needs help....WHAT CAN WE DO ????????...so glad im AF to help my mum cope with this but feel i have no one to talk to and im banging my head againest a brick wall....any help no matter how small will be great....He is 70 years old..non drinker...i feel im watching him disappear...what can i do?
Jacqui xxxx

[betty boop]

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Jacqui, I can't help medically but I can send you big BB hugs your way ......

BB :l :l :l

[Finding My Self]

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Jaqui - it's awful isn't it?! My mum and dad are going the same way but wont 'let me in' at all...and I'm an only child living 5 hours away.

The only advice I can offer is, if you and your mum are at least in agreement, to set up and Enduring Power of Attourney (EPA) with a solicitor...this will mean that you and she (or whoever your mum and dad choose) will be able to 'get at' bank accounts to pay bills, deal with any medical issues, set plans when your dad can't do it anymore. (Mine refuse to do this and it is going to be just awful....)

Do it quickly before he is 'signed off' by the doc because then it can get really sticky with solicitors having to deal with money and medical issues (a) instead of family doing it and (b) they'll charge you an arm and a leg for doing it as well. Your dad has to sign it before he is considered to be 'unable to make a sound judgement' or it'll be too late.

It's horrible but very practical....many put it off not wanting to face it and wish they had too late....most solicitors in the UK offer a 30 minute free consultation on things and this is one of them.

I do wish you all the best....

Hugs FMS xx

[MyOwnWoman]

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Hi Jacqui - you know, i've been reading a lot about supplements that nourish the brain. There is a lot of research out there showing that certain brain enhancing nutrients, that can be taken in supplement form, can help with Alzeimers, senility and general old-age memory loss. I'd highly recommend you do some research. maybe you can't get him to go to the dock, but maybe you can slip some nutrients into his oatmeal!!

[Victory]

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Dementia

Hi jacqui, agree with FMS,
Get Power of Attorney ASAP, cos can get murky later on. Watched my mother [non drinker ever] drift away with Alzheimer?s two years ago, Oh fuck it was not jolly. Eventually she went to a home because she was a risk to herself. She hated it and begged me to help her escape. Mind you, by then, her brain was 80% porridge, so the few clear thoughts she had were related to escaping!!!! On a lighter note, for the first time in my life my mum was able to give affection to all the nursing staff and us. The disease broke down the boundaries she had lived with forever. Sad huh? She was such a cold woman due to circumstances beyond her control and of course her generation.
Thinking of you
Victory
:h

[lucky 2.0]

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J- I feel your pain. I have great struggles with my mother who is only 64 and it is maddening. Aging sucks big time. I do not have advise but wanted you to know you are by no means alone.

Wishing you and your family well-

lucky

[Flip]

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Can you try getting the Dr to him instead? or get him there under some other pretence?

He will have to sign over his POA, so it may not be easy.

[southernbelle47]

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Wow...thats a tough one...He needs a checkup with his doc. There are meds that could help him.
Don't know how to help you get him there....
I've also "been there done that" with both my parents. It is not easy but you have to become the "parent" and do what is best for them. Prayers going out for you and them. Please remember that you are not alone.

Many :l 's sent your way....
Nancy

[kingfisher]

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Hi Jacqui .I'm not shure how to get your dad to the doc, but you have to get him there. My step dad of 30 years is in very advanced stages of alzemers.(not suggesting this is your dads case). Doctors have wonderful drugs now adays, they slow down the symptoms of many aging issues, & keap your loved ones with you, & functional years longer than they would without help.My step dad was supposed to of been gone 10 years ago.(We nailed it in the but early on.) It's important to catch it early if you wan't them around for long.
All I can suggest is nailing him with the hard truth. Your minds slipping, youv'e been acting strangly, & we nead you to go to the doctor for your health & our peace of mind.
Wish you lots of luck. K.F.

[kingfisher]

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Hi Jacqui .I'm not shure how to get your dad to the doc, but you have to get him there. My step dad of 30 years is in very advanced stages of alzemers.(not suggesting this is your dads case). Doctors have wonderful drugs now adays, they slow down the symptoms of many aging issues, & keap your loved ones with you, & functional years longer than they would without help.My step dad was supposed to of been gone 10 years ago.(We nailed it in the butt early on.) It's important to catch it early, if you wan't them around for long.
All I can suggest is nailing him with the hard truth. Your minds slipping, youv'e been acting strangly, & we nead you to go to the doctor for your health & our peace of mind.
Wish you lots of luck. Dads are always stuborn. K.F.

[Winefree]

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KF has a good approach. It just might work. Give it a try. There could be other problems, it might not be Alzheimers. If he hasn't had a good physical lately with lab tests etc. He should have one ASAP.

Good luck and let us know how it is going.

WF

[WA]

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UPDATE...been to see new doc says it seems like alzemers but too early for him to recomend we take control...like we want to...so sad when i read storys of people who have bad childhoods,my heart goes out to them as my childhood was great,i love my mum and dad more than words can say and just now my little heart is breaking in two cause my dad took care of me for 40 years and now there is not a thing i can do for him...GOD I LOVE HIM
Jacqui xxxxx

[Suzanna]

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If it is early Jacquie then you can start him on some supplements and meds to slow down the progression of alzheimers. Also you could make sure he's not getting alot of contest offers or credit card offers in the mail. My stepmother's mom was writing checks for all these contests and sending stuff in, so my stepmom had to finally just get the mail send to a P.O. box and sent stuff back so they would eventually stop. Her mom is in a home now, and yes she wants to escape when she sees her daughter, but the staff says she adjusts fine when she is not there. I wish you the best in this, for you and your dad.