My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

[Hannah]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Star, take every word that Beth said seriously, I so agree with her. And - I have tried chat just once, and realized that it wasn't my thing - way too fast paced for me. And - like someone else said, maybe give chat a rest, if you like - but do check in on the boards - when my brother in law was dying last summer I wailed and cried constantly, and evreyone's support really helped me. Take care, whatever you decide. We love you.

[Shikakai]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Lou;249525 wrote: Star...i was not in chat as its far to fast pacecd for me ....but i know from your posts what you are going through at the moment,

Iv been through similar....i understand...please dont go and if you do please come back, iv seen too many people do this.

Lou-Lou x x x

Lou, thank you for your kind PM... I really appreciate it.

I'm with the OP, though. At this time, I really have nothing to offer.

Did I drink on NY's day: YES! Have I continued to drink: YES!

No thoughts of suicide since I haven't drank myself to that point. That's a relief.

I'm going to go away and try to pull myself together and then come back. I'll try on Sunday to start over :upset:

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement. I'm just not ready yet.

[trixietrack]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Star do what you need to do to gain strength . I will miss you and your wise words.
so sorry about what you are going through right now.

be well

Trix

[Chief]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

I'm not sure what to say.......normally I would PM you, but if you're not going to log on...

That's it?...Just like that?..... you're leaving?....

What about all the times we PM'd back and forth talking about concerns or problems you were having?...What about all the times in chat when we shared and laughed?..... And what about the other night when you had your slip, and you told me you were having your first glass of wine, and I kept you on chat for 2 1/2 hours while you finished the bottle, always steering the conversation back to slipping until you finally got mad at me?.....
And what about the next day, when we were having a private chat about your slip, and people kept coming into chat and you wanted to talk to them but I told you to ignore them because we were talking about you, and that was more important, and I told you that you had to post and tell everyone about your slip, because I wanted you right back to AF and felt you needed to be accountable to everyone for your own good?...

And now you're leaving?....No PM, no nothing.......maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't think I deserve that.

And let me say this.....I know how hard this situation with Alex is on you. We've talked about it at length... but... you are not the first person who has had to deal with a family emergency of this sort. Yes, it is tragic.....but it IS NOT a reason for you to give up all the friends here who love you and so much want to help you in your time of need. You leaving because you can't deal with Alex's situation is crap.

And you leaving only a couple days after you slipped is also very convenient. After all, if you no longer have to be with us, you could drink and no one would ever know...how convenient....

I think it's become painfully obvious to me that I have misjudged our friendship..

You leaving MWO right now is the biggest mistake you could make. I think you leave this place when you either don't need it anymore because you've beaten the Beast or you don't want it anymore because the Beast has beaten you. You have done neither.

I'm done now. My stomach hurts and I don't want to say anything I'll regret..

I wish you peace,

Don

[Miss October]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Starlight :no: don't go, we will miss you :upset: but if you really need to, you can always "take a peek" at all the threads & posts without logging in, and we will never know........but feel free to jump in at anytime. My prayers go out to you and your cousin.

But Starlight, I know what you are going through. My Dad entered the hospital 3 days before Christmas, and we did not think he was going to make it. I started a thread for people to pray for my Dad, and I received several responses that made me feel so good.....so thank you all who replied. He is still in the hospital,...for how long...only God knows. But it is tough, trying not to drink while you are worrying whether he is going to live or die and running back and forth to the hospitial. Very Very Stressful. Now if it was not for all the caring people here on MWO, I would be drinking tonight. So thank you all !

"Be strong and bold....it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you."-------Dueteronomy 31:6

[Finding My Self]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Starlight Impress;249523 wrote:
I`ll return if and when I`m good for you all again and can give you the best of me. I`m just too sad to be here at this time.........I do love you all very much. And I will not drink.......I am so over drink.......excessive drinking is nothing but self destruction.

Star x

SI - the second bit is really encouraging.....brill.

The first bit leaves me saying Oi, I decide who's good for me and you are...... And the best of you is ALL of you....good, 'bad', up, down, crazy and calm..... Each of us can choose not to read your posts if we don't want to and yet just look at the length of this thread!!! So,....

But if you are just too sad.....I hope you are able to pick up your love and support doses from time to time.....until....

Love FMS xx

[Guest]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

arent you taking it all a little tooooo seriously??

[mike205]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Hey Star,

First of all, I do hope you and your family get through this trying time.

If you do happen to read this you probably already know me and that I'm not that great with the words of wisdom you use so eloquently. I'm usually good with a quick joke and generally talk about food and sports. However, I do want to make my voice heard.

Please don't do this. That is all.

You have given me a lot of hope and I really appreciate the kindness you showed on this website. Not just to me but for all the other folk on here that you have helped at their "hour of need".

Don't just give up on this website. You need us, we need you.

My kindest and best regards,
mike

[Long Road]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Now that's true Irish spirit Michael.:goodjob:

[cuckoosnest83]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Star, I will miss you wise and kind posts on the boards but understand fully your feelings.

Cuckoo

[bootcampbarbie]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

well, back today to check on you and see that you haven't responded to anyone's posts? star,,,,,,,,, that's really not like you. hummmmmm. well i'm going to stay out of it but i definitely see what chief is saying. and it makes even more sense to me since you've slipped that you need to stay and be vulnerable and not tunnel in. and i'm one to know that you will do what you are going to do but at least come back and say thank you to all these nice folks for caring about you. it feels way incomplete to me and that just isn't a representation of you at all. i love you and care about you.

[nancy]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Hold off on the eulogies, there could be a resurrection!

Judging by Chief's posts you sure have made your mark Star!

It seems to me that Star has formed a network of very good friends here and it would not be in her interest or the board's interest for her to leave. You know how we get when we miss members...

Hope you reconsider Starlight!

[ducky]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Star,

You have been here a while and achieved a lot. I have also been here a while and not gotten so far. But I sense that when things get tough you seem to need to announce a retreat. Can you not ask for help? You inspire so many here. Would it serve us all more if you said you needed a bit of support instead of declaring that you must disappear?

Just a thought.

[Suki411]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Star, just read this thread. Some pretty amazing posts for an amazing person. I know what you are going through. Be kind to yourself, please. You are loved.

[go2goal]

My fault entirely and I sincerely apologize.

Well Star, its not a Blame Game, so not your 'fault' and no need to apologize. I only have 'known you' a short time, but the few chats with you have been memorable and left a warm spot. So, I truly hope you are not missing the pages of support you asked for.

The part of your "Leave letter" that jumps at me is when you say you will be back when you can be GOOD FOR US and we can have the BEST OF YOU. What is that? While genuinely altruistic, I'm sure, that is not likely the reason you came to MWO in the first place - to help Others - that is just a consequence of group support.

You came here for yourself, as we all have, so leaving after you asked for help during a busy chat doesn't really follow. You yourself know how chat is confusing. Obviously, everyone has enjoyed you and wants to be there for you. Note the 5 pages of replies in one day!

So, if you want a break, by all means take it - MWO can be all-consuming and breaks may be refreshing; but PLEASE don't think it is because you aren't doing enough for the rest of MWO.

Also, you better at least be reading because it will be a damn shame if you miss out all the efforts of others on your behalf because that is what this is about and most likely why you came here.

Hope that makes sense - not meant to be harsh in any way, so hope I expressed it so.

Go2Goal